Double Entendres

GoneShootin

ill be damned if im gona spend the time formatting it

>MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer
for
>warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out
>there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

>Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson

>lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use
Fanny,
>other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

>MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen
>Hendry
>jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

>JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World
>Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he
>wished he had a hard on now."

>Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on
>This
>Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last
>night."

>WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's
>formidable
>lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."

>ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well
Phil,
>tell us about your amazing third leg."

>DURING the 1989 British Masters golf tournament, commentator Richie
Benaud
>observed: "Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick
>their balls on the green."

>CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire
>match,
>inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just
>tossed it off."

>CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's
>nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

>JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What
>does
>it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

>STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today
>after a 69."

>THE new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath
>away..."My
>word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

>WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big
>race
>when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming

>from different positions."

>STEVE Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets In The Wild, told Trude:
>"There's something big growing between my legs."

>CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live
>said:
>"You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

>A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed
and
>didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight
>inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the
set,
>but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

>US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing

>so
>well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and
>kisses
>them .... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"


>David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics - "And there goes Juantorena down
>the
>back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."

>Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven
>Dicks on the field."

>Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that
>nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the
Oxford
>crew."

>Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I
>once
>rode her mother."

>New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl
>Gibson
>comes inside of him."

>Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from
>Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

>And not forgetting cricket - "The bowler's Holding the batsman's
>Willey."

hells angels

heard it so many time's and it still brings a smile to my face...:D

Pugsley

>Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I
>once
>rode her mother."



rofl!

TomTom

Originally posted by GoneShootin
ill be damned if im gona spend the time formatting it

>Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from
>Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

All time best. Makes me laugh everytime I read it.

JohnK

Originally posted by GoneShootin
>New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl
>Gibson
>comes inside of him."

LMAO