Your first porno

Tusky

Your first porno, ahhh like your first steps, or your first kinder bueno ! to a lesser extent your first jaffa cake :rolleyes:

Anywho mine was back when i was about 12 at my frnds birthday party, *ahem* i honestly didnt watch much as i was a good boy back then but it was made in ireland and was called "Kellys first time" ! what a title, any1 else seen it ?

Anywho i remember the thing everyone was complain'n about was that it would switch from this girl doing the dirty deed to her mother (who was on the way home and about to catch her daughter) walking through the park ( stephens green ) feeding the ducks !!! what a turn off :rolleyes:

erm what was yours,

Rew

When i was in 1st or 2nd year in school i managed to get my hands on a floppy disk with some failry hardcore stuff. It was a serires of pictures that were animated in a loop and there were several digferant angnles etc... u could hit space bar to speed up the action.

Anyway i renamed the files and mixed em in with a game and got the game loaded on the the school network. Showed it to some of the lads and we all had a laugh. Then about a week later i came in to the PC room and from the back of the room i could see every screen (anout 20 PC's) and it was up on every single screen. Word spead fast....

Had to hide the files in the network (DOS 6!!) where they would never be found in case it came back on me.....

Executive Steve

hehehehe my little brothers first porn was called "s h i t for dinner" and involved several germans sitting over their dinner plates before passing them to the left as they sat at a dinner table....
i forget the name of the first on i ever saw but when i was a nipper [like nine years of age] and lived in holland i used to ring these well dodgy S/M phonelines... spent years dreading losing my virginity as i didnt want anybody to nail my ballocks to a table heheheh

parasite

hmm

Tusky

Originally posted by [cm]tyranny

nipper [like nine years of age] and lived in holland i used to ring these well dodgy S/M phonelines... spent years dreading losing my virginity as i didnt want anybody to nail my ballocks to a table heheheh

heh them phonelines allways make me wonder ! what the hell do you talk about on them ? how long can "uhh ahh feely feely" go on over the phone ?

inlighten me plz !

Executive Steve

hmmm i think its a language thing.... dutch just sounds dirty whereas english just doesnt work, its way too vague a language... if you ever get fluent at dutch go there and ring up otherwise avoid like the plague.... heheheh

Jim

lol, nice topic.

orgy in a barn with a midget wearing only cowbow boots masterbating in the corner, i have since become selebate

Funky

a dodgy croatian video tape. i dont think the movie even had a title, if it had one if probably would have been "Filth"

Gordon

"The Sleazy Detective".

nesthead

this **** german soft porn i saw on a german tv channel when i was on holiday (in london :rolleyes:) called "beach babes" if i remember, saw it for rent there in Laser in the "trash" section, ohhh the memories.....

Crash

The first porn i ever saw was when i was a youngster and used get my thrills out of Eurotrash

twas great, i remember making my own porno tape by recording them and being the cool kid with the "porn".

Kai

i was friends with this fella whose uncle ran a "video van", [remember those lads, used to call to your house with the videos to rent and they didnt bother with things like licences or using non pirate tapes]
Anyway i had a trick of taking the video out of the box without my friend knowing and putting it back the next day. i was only 12-13, so id go home and watch them before parents came home.
I had to stop after my friend told me his uncle got in trouble with a neighbour when someone rented bambi and got an entirely different nature film. i must have made a small mistake.
Bloody brilliant few weeks though. one id recommend is flesh gordon, not hardcore, not really porn but funny.

azezil

shawshank redemption

Space Coyote

Porky's probly. That was hilarious.

Horsefumbler

first hardcore porno i saw was some german one which looked like it was from the seventies when i was 12 in my m8s gaff. Some serious **** going on it though; triple penetration etc.
:cool:
That was the first hardcore i'd seen some other ****ty ones before which i wouldn't really count

Space Coyote

Ye watched hardcore porn when ye were 12 !!! No wonder yer going around fumbling horses now

Nemici

first porn I ever saw was called "the wild brat"

I thought it was the grestest thing in the world. (when I was 13)

Now I realise I was horribly wronged by this terrible genre of movie. (or was I?)

mike65

Emmanuelle 2 on a double bill with Death Race 2000 on the late show in town. This was when reissues and double-bills were still popular with punters and movie companies. First hard core was Tale of Tiffany Lust which starred Desiree Cousteau which has something for everyone as I recall....:eek:

http://www.cinebizarre.com/xstar_hart.htm

Mike.

Horsefumbler

Originally posted by Space_Coyote
Ye watched hardcore porn when ye were 12 !!! No wonder yer going around fumbling horses now

we all have our weaknesses....;)

TomTom

Seen one when I was very young, some english flick about a lesbian boxers. At the time I did not quite understand but was strangly attracted to the tv screen.

tman

the first porno i watched with other men in the room was only a couple of years ago.
i think it was called "booty ho!, freestyle gangbang":D
one of the funniest 90 minutes of my life.
been downloading pr0n for the last 7 years now:rolleyes:

Giblet

I saw Confessions of.. yesterday.

tman

Originally posted by Frugu
one id recommend is flesh gordon, not hardcore, not really porn but funny.

my older brother was always on about that

Gaz

I was in 1st year and there was a hardcore german porn doing the rounds ... thas ist good grunt grunt ... etc

Eventually one of the lads got caught with the video in his bag , he told the teacher it was just some recordered episode but the teacher dragged him up to the av room and made him play it ..hahaha ... suspended as far as i can remember.

Tusky

Originally posted by Darth Homer
I was in 1st year and there was a hardcore german porn doing the rounds ... thas ist good grunt grunt ... etc

Eventually one of the lads got caught with the video in his bag , he told the teacher it was just some recordered episode but the teacher dragged him up to the av room and made him play it ..hahaha ... suspended as far as i can remember.

suspended for having a porno in his bag ? thats a bit rediculous...

telecinesk

Wow, cant believe Im reading this thread.
My one was in 1987. Had this bloke with a metal hook on one hand .Quote in film went like " Do it with the hook,go on do it. You will always remember my smell,,,". I wont continue for fear of being banned!!

I was so impressed with the hilarity that I taped the soundtrack onto a 1/4inch reel to reel. The music was excellent. Real 1970s stuff. Flutes..
There was some other chick called Margaret who was good for a few also...

Like most in school,I had the tape stolen from my schoolbag also.No doubt another conniseur of top fims enjoyed it too! Or was it a teacher?

Uploaded a 30 sec audio extract on my site incidentally.

Magic Wand? Anyone else see this film?? Other hilarious one was Thrill St Blues,, Flash the magic Dork. Uh oh the zippers stuck...... Roll on Betamax!

plastic membrane

My Favorite Rear, when i was working in a video store in Limerick.

Gaz

Originally posted by Tusky
suspended for having a porno in his bag ? thats a bit rediculous...

12 year old boy , hardcore german porn , School run by priests ... poor fecker didnt even get to watch it

Lex_Diamonds

*Sigh* The good old days eh? When porn movies actually had titles. Now its TITS76545.mpeg this and DONKEY^"%D.AVI that.... :mad:

mike65

Originally posted by telecinesk
I was so impressed with the hilarity that I taped the soundtrack onto a 1/4inch reel to reel. The music was excellent. Real 1970s stuff. Flutes..
There was some other chick called Margaret who was good for a few also...

Uploaded a 30 sec audio extract on my site incidentally.

70 and early 80s pron flicks had some great music, them and blacksplotiation movies!

Mike.

Blitzkrieger

The first time I saw a proper hc one was in a Brussels 'cinema'. The guy kept slapping her in the face for some reason (french dialogue). It was so bad we just laughed our asses off.

I do remember seeing 'Blame it on Rio' at my cousin's house when I was about 9. Basically Michael Caine is on holiday with his 'niece', her friend and his mate, and ends up shafting her. Most of the movie consists of walking along the beach with lots of topless women around. There was about 15 of my cousins in the room watching it. Every now and again an adult would come in ask : "What are ye watching?", then go all quiet and leave the room

hells angels

first one was in my mate's gaf when i was about 15 ihad just come home from a night out on the piss (and the hospital but thats a different story) and my mate went into his bro's room and got this film called (i think) "melissa's mailbox" it was only soft porn but it was about 6 in the mornin so we fell asleep and his mother came in and woke us...to our horror the film was still playin...

Now i hav my own porn stash....there so much funnier with the volume up....

Caesar_Bojangle

"The Black Hammer" it involved an immensely endowed black man

Now its much easier to just download your porn. Also it saves the embarrassment of buying one or even renting one, as the very next day when you return it, they know what you did the night before and probably half an hour before you returned the video/dvd.

Tusky

Originally posted by Lex_Diamonds
*Sigh* The good old days eh? When porn movies actually had titles. Now its TITS76545.mpeg this and DONKEY^"%D.AVI that.... :mad:

ahahaha so true

"The Black Hammer" it involved an immensely endowed black man

Where can i rent this movie ?
Has any1 seen a movie called "the erotic witch project" if you havnt go get it now !

telecinesk

Dunno if this is slightly off topic. But do you remember the first time you go Caught with a Porn Mag?

Oh 70s porn music, cant remember but there is a site somewhere in Holland(of course) that streams this stuff. My brother found it for Research Purposes.

Shred

First one I saw was Swedish Erotica in me mates gaff when I was about 14/15, his dad had loads of them:)
He also had another one called 'Sexworld' (I think) which was to do with a ranch or something, where people could go and fulfill their fantasies with sex 'robots'....

Great thing was me mate wasn't at all shy about renting pornos after that (he was a couple of years older then me) so we had new ones regularly