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Why did the chicken cross the road

  • 30-04-2003 3:08pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 211 ✭✭


    Thought you might get a laugh from some of these.
    Subject: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    GEORGE W. BUSH

    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
    if
    the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us
    or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

    AL GORE

    I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing
    the road represented the application of these two different functions of
    government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to
    the
    American people.

    COLIN POWELL

    Now, at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the
    chicken crossing the road.

    HANZ BLIX

    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
    allowed
    access to the other side of the road..

    MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)

    The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't
    even have a chicken.

    SADDAM HUSSEIN

    This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
    dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it

    RALPH NADER

    The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by
    unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
    habitat
    on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a
    gas-guzzling SUV.

    PAT BUCHANAN

    To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

    RUSH LIMBAUGH

    I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a
    government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is
    already
    forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome.
    Can
    you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens
    crossing the
    road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking
    about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for
    chickens to cross.

    MARTHA STEWART

    No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing
    order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a
    certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    JERRY FALWELL

    Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
    plain
    truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side. That's
    what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
    And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all
    chickens until we
    sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
    harmless phrases like the other side.

    DR. SEUSS

    Did the chicken cross the road?

    Did he cross it with a toad?

    Yes, The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY

    To die. In the rain. Alone.

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

    I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
    having their motives called into question..

    GRANDPA

    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
    that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

    BARBARA WALTERS

    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken
    tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a
    serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of
    crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON

    Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

    ARISTOTLE

    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    KARL MARX

    It was a historical inevitability.

    VOLTAIRE

    I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death
    its
    right to do it.

    RONALD REAGAN

    What chicken?

    CAPTAIN KIRK

    To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

    FOX MULDER

    You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to
    cross before you believe it?

    SIGMUND FREUD

    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
    reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES

    I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but
    will
    lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - - and
    Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN

    Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
    chicken?

    BILL CLINTON

    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean my chicken?

    Could you define chicken, please?

    COLONEL SANDERS

    I missed one?


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 718 ✭✭✭hells angels


    Just remembered your password?? welcome back whoever you are!!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 958 ✭✭✭Mark


    Brilliance! The humour board has certainly improved remarkably recently I must admit :).

    That list was done in a different form a few months ago, but this version is far more detailed and much more funneh


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,478 ✭✭✭tribble


    Terra
    Cool Newbie
    Registered: Apr 2000
    Posts: 12 (0.01 per day)

    :ninja:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 42 blackadder


    kfc.gif


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 211 ✭✭Terra


    I'm just the quiet type....

    Website was blocked out at work for the past few years for some reason....just got around it...

    Websense crap peace of software


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