Need some advice!

Aines_24

I really need some advice!
My younger brother graduated last autumn and is having real problems getting a job. He just got another letter yesterday telling him that he didn't get a job he interviewed for last week about which he felt very confident. He was really upset and is really demoralised now. He was never all that confident, and now he feels stupid, and all of these rejections are fuelling his poor self - image.
He's a great lad and I really want to help him. He's bright, funny, kind and talented but cannot seem to get it across at interviews. He's shy and can be tounge tied so he doesn't come across well I would think.
So what I want to know is how do I help him? He was always a sensitive soul, but his confidence is shattered and he takes everything to heart so it needs to be gentle advice. He's resistant to everything because he's taking anything as criticism. Seeing him so sad is coming between me and my sleep and the idea of how upset he was (he was in tears yesterday when he got that letter - my mum came home early from work unexpectedly) is awful.
Has anyone any ideas?

Elmo

Has he graduated from school or from college?

Aines_24

From college, with a masters.

Beëlzebooze

Aines,

I have been looking for a decent job now on and off for a year, I have landed a couple of temp jobs, but not the ones I am willing to spend at least 5-10 years in.

I have had a couple of interviews, and I was extremely confident that I would get the job, but to no avail. I know I could do the jobs in question, and do them well.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that it is difficult on the job market at the moment, it is a buyers market. Employers are setting high standards, as they know they have a good choice of candidates.

Your brother should not give up hope, but do what I do, and call the HR dept. and ask for an explination as to why he was not considered for the job. Do not be aggressive, ask the HR person for HELP, and explain that you need the information, to better your chances for the next application. (the asking for help is quite important, as it makes the HR person feel important, and they are then willing to give you advice, as opposed to brushing you off)

Regards,
and good luck to your brother, but he better not be gunning for my jobs!

nanook

i am taking it he has graduated with a qualifacation.

1. What practical experience does he have in realation to his chosed career.
This is the hardest part about looking for work. You have the qualifacation with no experience, you have experience with no qualifacation, total catch 22.

2. What level of job is he applying for.

3. What kind of qualifaction does he have.

if you wanna pm me the answers i may be able to give some assistance, i have done a bit of interviews and assisted a few ppl into really good jobs.

Wolf

After been outa work for a long time myself coming outa college. I can be a long old struggle getting your foot in the door.

All I can say is suggest to him that he tries to get any job while hes looking.

Also those big jobs are hard to get I know people with 1st that are still out work after 2 years of searching.

Typedef

Advice :

Take the first job that comes along, you can continue to look for the perfect job in the mean time.

Example:

When I left tech support in Gateway I wanted to do some sort of programming on a Unix like system.

I settled for VB/SQL programming on winders and eventually I got an opportunity to do what I really wanted to do, for better money... (granted I have to move to Tralee), but, so what?

Also..... beware of women bearing gifts of inscence

Hatchie

aine_24

Is your brother looking at the same type of job all the time with different companies???? maybe all positions that require experience.
Is he looking for the same work all the time???

I had same sort of thing happen to me few years back after I graduated, so I tried different positions in the same field of work, ie want to work as manager go in as manager assistant. I went into job hadnt wanted but was in same field, my friends had better jobs when they graduated but I moved into other department and now have better job and salary then them plus have broader knoweledge and alot more skilled then them now.
Can run till you walk but once first step I have now passed them all out.

would he consider lowering standarts slightly or moving target to the side??????

Once in the place its easy to move up ladder into other departments and job roles if he gives it six monthes.

Tell him not to get down and suggest this tactic -- worked for me and worked out better in long run even though at time i thought everyone passing me by-- but things change and its them that need to catch me now ;-)

Aines_24

Thanks everyone for replying, it's great to hear from people who've had similar experiences but have gotten through it!
My main worry for him is how he feels about himself and how this is exacerbating this low self image he has. Because everyone is working he spends a lot of time alone and is getting despondant and depressed which is making everything harder. I try to think of things to do but he's very sensitive to what he would see as being 'babied' and I think his motivation is suffering badly. It's all feeding into a cycle and I can see him becoming really depressed.
What can a sister say to a brother that isn't patronising?! How can I help with his self image?

Carbiens

Originally posted by Typedef
Advice :

(granted I have to move to Tralee)

you go do what where now, when you comin down?

Borzoi

Having been through umeployment years ago I can say how crap and useless it can make you feel.

Best thing is to get a job - any job. Something to do and a few quid coming in, so he doesn't have to sponge off of anyone. Better for self and pocket.

And employers, like myself, prefer to see people who have done anything, rather than done nothing.

Aines_24

Good advice. He's not entirely unemployed - he has some irregular part time work in the industry, but it's working from home so he hasn't got anyone to help him learn how to do the job, so I don't think it's really useful to him. He also had a part time job as a sport coach over the winter.
I just think the cycle of rejection is making him depressed when his self esteem isn't amazing anyway, and of course someone who is depressed will always come over poorly in an interview. I don't know what to say to him or how to help.

Mac daddy

tell him to stop all the crying like a little bitch give him a box in head, send him to recruiment agency, they can always find something for a bum in there,

patch

Originally posted by Mac daddy
tell him to stop all the crying like a little bitch give him a box in head, send him to recruiment agency, they can always find something for a bum in there,

:rolleyes:

Mac daddy

Originally posted by patch69
:rolleyes:

And??

Hobart

Mac Daddy don't be a muppet.


What are his expectations? Is he setting his targets too high? Have a chat with him and see what you think in relation to what he is expecting.

As was said earlier in the post, it is an employeers market at the moment. I have heard many many stories about ppl getting jobs they were far over-qualified for and at a very low salary. What I would suggest is that he tries to get a job which is 'related' to what he wants to eventually do.

When I left college I was going to change the world. i loved programming and was an expert in Cobol, C, Yada Yada Yada. I went on Holidays the day after graduation and came back a week later into a temp-job. I'll never forget the feeling of dissapointment when I was not immediately shown to my bright new office and was not immediately introduced to my secratery!!! Instead I was shown to a corner handed a screwdriver and told to insert 10 NIC's into 10PC's. I was heartbroken!!. (That was 11 years ago and I have never looked back.) I am still in the industry and doing exactly what I want to do but I have had to work hard for it and it took me a long time. So tell him he will have to 'walk' b4 he can run. But tell him to keep at it.

patch

Originally posted by Mac daddy
And??

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: