This Guy Goes into a bar.....

Cozpyro

A drunk guy goes into a bar. He staggers up to the bar man and say 'Here Pal, Jizz a Hocksail Stich'.

The barman manages to work out that he is looking for a cocktail stick. He tells the drunk guy to get lost, but he keeps asking and asking.

So the barman give him his cocktail stick and tells him to leave.

Five minutes another drunk guy comes in. Same question. As it got rid of the last guy he gave him a cocktail stick and sent him packing.

Another five minutes pass and a third drunk comes in. This guy says 'Here Pal, Jizz a Straw'. This has the barman intrigued. So he asks the drunk what the hell is going on.

'Two guys come in and ask for cocktail sticks. Now you want a straw. Whats the story?'

'Well, sumun got sick outshide and all the chunky bits are gone!'.

SoundWave

That’s pretty sick… literally

NeoSlicerZ

/me retches

Cozpyro

This guy goes into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says to the barman 'Pint for me, and one for the road'.

These two rolls of tarmac are having a quiet pint when a bright orange roll of tarmac walks in. One roll says to the other 'Quick Get out here. That guy who just walked in is a total cyclepath'.

This guy walked into a bar........... Wallop!!!!

Capt'n Midnight

with a pig under his arm - so the barman asks him - "where did you get that ?"

And the pig says - "I won him in a raffle"

Tyrrial

i think i should be the one who says it:

a dyselixic walks into a bra!

(ain't i lucky?)

TomTom

A piece of rope walks into a bar and the barman says, "sorry we don't serve ropes in here"
So the rope leaves and ties himself in a knot outside and then splits up one of it's ends and walkes back it.
The barman says" he ain't you the rope I won't serve"
To which the rope replies "no i'm a frayed knot"


Two sandwiches walk into a bar, the barman says "i'm sorry but we don't serve food"


Same as above but;
Two ****e softmints are sitting in the pub when a blue one walks in, one white one says to the other "lets get the hell out of here, that guys menthol"

exiztone

Heheh n1