Worst jokes ever?

Wolf

Saw this joke and thought how incerbily bad :mad: so I was wonder if anyone else out there know of any more (and only the really bad please) bad jokes ? (Like that one im a prawn again christian)



There are two guys who have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they're at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a tree off in the distance.

As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon.

There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.

"Oh my, Pepe" says the first bloke. "It's a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!" "You're right!" says Pepe.

So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.

His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe.

"Pepe, Pepe !! What on earth happened?"

With his dying breath Pepe calls out "Ugh, run, run!! It's not a Bacon Tree . . .

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.................. it's a Ham Bush"

T.G Catter

CRINGE....

MAC_E

That joke should be locked up, and the key thrown away. But it did bring a smile to by face

[Iramus]

its strange how the "worst" jokes always make me laugh. Its so bad...its good!:ninja:

Tyrrial

when i read the subject i really should have copped on!

de5p0i1er

it made me laugh but it was bad.

Evac101

It's 1944, the second World War is going, the Emergency covers our land (and continued to until about 3 years ago but thats a different type of joke)......

Paddy and Mick had gotten sick of the emergency, in particular the absence of their favourite snakc- bananas. In a fit of drunken genius the lads decided that the only cure for it was to join one of the allied forces and get the War over and done with quickly so they could get back the treat they enjoyed so much. They took the Post boat over to England and signed on with the British Army, had their basic training and were shippe out to mainland Europe.

Late in the Spring of '45 the boys found themselve in the Rhine Valley, cut off from the rest of their forces, their comrades wounded or dead around them. At the other end of the Valley stood the pride of the German army, waiting the descend down upon them...

Paddy turns round to Mick and says ' Hold up - I've got an idea!'

He stood up in the foxhole and yelled as loud as he could towards the German lines ' One Irishman can take any German you lot can send down here!'

The German Commander heard Paddys bold statement and decided to prove him wrong. He sent down Hans, the biggest, roughest, toughest soldier he had to hand.

The sounds of fighting and yelling drifted back to the Germans ears from the other end of the valley. The noise finally stopped, but there was no sign of Hans.

Mick turned round to Paddy and said ' You think that was good? Wait until you see this!'

With that Mick stood up in the foxhole and shouted 'One Irishman can take any two Germans you can send down here' and ducked back under cover.

The German Commander heard the shout again and sent the largest two lads he had left down the valley. Once again the sounds of yells and fighting, once again no german came back.

Day after day this continued, 5 then 10 then 40 and on and on. Finally Paddy stood up (for it was his turn once more) and shouted 'One Irishman can take whats left of your army mister!'.

At this point Hilter himself and come to take command of the Army and he sent all his remaining troops down the valley to crush these cheeky Irishman.

The sounds of battle could be heard for three days solid, and no runners came back to keep Hilter informed of the armies progress. Finally, out of the morning mist, on the fourth day Hitler saw the commander staggering back towards him. As he reached Hitler he collapsed to the ground, breathing his last.


But before he died he gasped out 'Sir! Sir! *gasp* It is all and trick!!'

Hilter responded 'What is it? Is it the gas? Is it the bomb?

The commander replied with his dying breath 'No sir! there are two of them!!'

embraer170

The only thing worse than a bad joke is a long bad joke.

Anyway this topic reminds me..... Sometime ago, a local shop had a few discount books including joke books. Thought I picked up a decent one "The Best Jokes off the Internet", started reading it on the bus home and thought this is pretty crap. Later realised I bought "The Worst Jokes off the internet."

DriftingRain

Ewwwww... Those were really bad. But, They both made me smile and laugh And yes, in agreement, the worst ones always make you laugh!

Pugsley

Well I liked the 2nd one

YoungNastyMan

i liked the second one also, i was expecting more of stupid pun