Cool Quotes[History Related]

PHB

This is actually to help out my leaving cert but I still think its very interesting
I'll edit the post everytime someone adds a new quote, eventually we'll have a big ass list which will be really helpful to anyone doing history

Irish History

Home Rule/LandLeague :

Issac Butt :

"Butt was the classic example of a Condervative-Unionist finally converted to nationalism by the courage and self abandonment of the Fenians" - T.W. Moody

"We regard these amnesty meetings with something beyond ordinary favour; we regard them as meaning more than the release of the fenian prisioners. We look upon them as the resurrection of a nation from it deathlike torpor" - John O' Mahony

"Butt must be given credit for having launched the ship of Home Rule, and while he proved to be a poor captain, he got the ship well out to sea" - J.J. Lee

Davitt : [/B]

"He did for the Land League, what Collins did for Sinn Fein, and Lemass for Fianna Fial" - J.J. Lee

Parnell : [/B]

"From the bumbling political novice in 1975 to the leader of the Irish people at homeand abroad, his rise to power constitutes one of the most imporessive in Irish History" - J.J. Lee

Cultural Nationalism :

"The Irish are in an anomalous position - imitating England and yet hating it.......just as we start to build a new nation we find ourselves despailed of the brickes of nationality"

"GAA swept the country like a praire fire" - Cusack

"We will show that Ireland is not the home of buffoonery and easy sentiment....but ancient idealism" - Yeats(I think)

Cuman na Gealheal :

"Those who take the pay and wear the uniform of the state must remain non-political servants of the state" - Kevin O Higgins

"And Cosgrave would do the state of ship one final service, by the manner in which he handed over the bridge of the state of ship to the rival captain. Bitter as it was in party terms, indeed percisly because it was so bitter, it was his finest hour" - J.J. Lee

Dev 32-70[basically lets ignore the InterPartys ]

"to protect free speach andbe anti-communist" - BlueShirts motto

Europeon History

Germany 1870-1914 :

"My ambition strives me to command rather than obey" - Bismark at age 23

Eastern Question :

"In the 16th Century the Ottoman empire streched from the gates of Vienna to the Indian Ocean to Algiers"

Pre - WW1:

"I feel sure that the time for small kingdoms has passed away. The future is with the Great Empires and it rests with us to say whether our own shall be counted for many years to come as one of the greatest or we shall split up into minor comparatively unimportant nationalities" - Joseph Chamberlain

"The lamps are going out all over Europe and we shall not see them lit again in our lifetime" - Sir Edward Grey after war was declared

Pre - WW2 :

"I believe it is peace for our time" - Chamberlin after returning from 30 Sept 1938 meeting with Hitler. War was declared 11:00am Sep 3rd 1939

"I moved into Austria to prevent this country from becoming another Spain" - Hitler on his annexation of Austria

American :

JFK Era :

"I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it."
- John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) when asked what is his favorite song

Colonialism :

"There is more power in his loin cloth than all the guns in the British army"
Talking about Gandi in the 20's

"They talk to me about progress, about 'achievements', diseases cured, improved standards of living. I am talking about societies drained of their essence, cultures trampled underfoot, institutions undermined, lands confiscated, religions smashed, magnificent artisitic creations destroyed, extraordinary possibilites wiped off"
- Aimé Césaire Discourse on Colonialism, 1950

Classical :

Alexander :

"It is better to abolish serfdom from above than wait for it to abolish itself from below"
1857- Alexander II

Misc :

"If a man does his best, what else is there?"
- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)

"As a tribunal for ascertaining the rights and wrongs of a dispute, war is crude, uncertain and costly......let all who trust justice to the arbitrament of war bear in mind that the issue may depend less on the righteousness of the cause than on the cunning and craft of the contestants. And the cost is prohibitive. The death of ten millions and the mutilation of another twenty millions....is a terrible bill of costs to pay in suit for determining the responsibility and penalty for the murder of two persons"
David Llyod George-War Memoirs

"It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Churchill [because he has the best quotes] :

"If you are going through hell, keep going."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

Poverty :

"There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread."
- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

DeadBankClerk

cool.

oeNeo

They sure are pretty damn cool!










It's hip to be square.

Dont be at yourself

"As a tribunal for ascertaining the rights and wrongs of a dispute, war is crude, uncertain and costly......let all who trust justice to the arbitrament of war bear in mind that the issue may depend less on the righteousness of the cause than on the cunning and craft of the contestants. And the cost is prohibitive. The death of ten millions and the mutilation of another twenty millions....is a terrible bill of costs to pay in suit for determining the responsibility and penalty for the murder of two persons"
David Llyod George-War Memoirs

Man, that shit is cool. Hip to the mega.

Mark

Originally posted by NekkidBibleMan
Man, that shit is cool. Hip to the mega.

Why thankeh

That said why doesnt everyone else get PMing PHB some quotes? We could get a pretty good list out of this

ozt9vdujny3srf

Mmmm traight from jj lee's book

(good work)

PHB

Using JJ Lee quotes is the best idea ever since at least a 1/8 of the history teachers in the country went to UCC and had him as the teacher

Also hes got the best ship imagry ever

El Marco

"War is not nice" - Barbara Bush

Mark

Originally posted by El Marco
"War is not nice" - Barbara Bush

*me stares in shock

Of course! Operation Flashpoint! Pure quotable gold I say!

*gives El Marco big slobbery kiss and runs to find cd

PHB

Affs I cant edit the post.

Is there any way I can get a special allowance to edit the post?

ozt9vdujny3srf

"If they trick us again myself would lead a revolution"
P.H. Pearse

"Kill one, it is a tragedy, kill ten million, it is a statistic"
I will always remember that one, It's a sick thought.

PHB

"If they trick us again myself would lead a revolution"
P.H. Pearse
Isnt it

"If they trick us again I myself would lead a revolution"
P.H. Pearse

Dont mean to be pedantic but I'm not sure if its the right quote

ozt9vdujny3srf

Shhh :P

I'm sure its "If they trick us again I myself will lead a revolution"

But ye all know the farkin one :P

Typedef

Lady:"Mr Churchill you are drunk"
Churchill:"And Madame you are ugly, but I will be sober in the morning".


Lady:"Mr Churchill, if you were my husband I'd poison your tea".
Churchill:"If you were my wife I'd drink it".

Dredz

That's some phat sh*t, right there.

Mark

"The governments of Germany, Italy and Japan consider the prequisite of a lasting peace that every nation in the world shall recieve the space to which it is entitled.
They have, therefore, decided to stand by and cooperate with one another in their efforts in Greater East Asia and the regions of Europe respectively. In doing this it is their prime purpose to establish and maintain a new order of things."

Tripartite Part, September 1940

I especially like the "to which it is entitled" piece. A rather formal way of declaring territorial expansion.

"When air raids got severe, and there was no opposition by our planes, and factories were destroyed, I felt as if we were fighting machinery with bamboo. We could hardly stand it. The Government kept telling us that they would defeat the United States forces once they landed here, but as my house was burned down and I had no food, clothing or shelter, I didn't know how I could go on."

Japanese Bombing Victim, 1946

"Conscious of the special responsibilty of the USSR and the US for maintaining peace, [they] have agreed that a nuclear war cannot be won and must never be fought. Recognizing that any conflict between the USSR and the US could have catastrophic consequences, they emphasize the importance of preventing any war between them, whether Nuclear or Convential."

Reagan-Gorbachev Joint Statement, 1985

Hairy Homer

Originally posted by PHB




"I feel sure that the time for small kingdoms has passed away. The future is with the Great Empires and it rests with us to say whether our own shall be counted for many years to come as one of the greatest or we shall split up into minor comparatively unimportant nationalities" - Joseph Chamberlain


Good one. Hadn't seen it before. The case for globalisation in a nutshell, nearly a century before the Sony Walkman.

"They talk to me about progress, about 'achievements', diseases cured, improved standards of living. I am talking about societies drained of their essence, cultures trampled underfoot, institutions undermined, lands confiscated, religions smashed, magnificent artisitic creations destroyed, extraordinary possibilites wiped off"
- Aimé Césaire Discourse on Colonialism, 1950


And the case for anti globalism in a nutshell.

Perhaps you history buffs could tell me who first said. 'Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose' (or whatever the proper French version is) :-)

Mark

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

"I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right."
- Frederick (II) the Great

"A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890-1969), Inaugural Address, January 20, 1953

"If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honours on your head."
- Jean Cocteau (1889-1963)

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

"Wit is educated insolence."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

"When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"I would have made a good Pope."
- Richard M. Nixon (1913-1994)

"A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."
- John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)

"University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small."
- Henry Kissinger (1923-)

"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
- General George Patton (1885-1945)

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
- Al Capone (1899-1947)

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
- Robert Orben

"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"Why don't you write books people can read?"
- Nora Joyce to her husband James (1882-1941)

"Opportunities multiply as they are seized."
- Sun Tzu

"Well done is better than well said."
- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"I think it would be a good idea."
- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948), when asked what he thought of Western civilization

"If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?" "
- Will Rogers (1879-1935)

"A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood."
- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame."
- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats."
- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

"Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.

"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction."
- General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)

And for your viewing pleasure, a 4 way quote scrap!

"Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance."
- Plato (427-347 B.C.)

"Plato was a bore."
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal."
- Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

"I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy."
- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

"Hemingway was a jerk."
- Harold Robbins

Hairy Homer

Bismark had a few good ones.

'A generation that has taken a beating is followed by a generation that gives one'

or

'A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise man learns from the mistakes of others.'

Von

"Our blessing to ye, O Mac Coghlin: we received your letter and what we understand from her is that what you are at the doing of is but sweetness of word and spinning out of time. For our part of the subject, whatever person is not with with us and will not wear himself out in the interest of justice, that person we understand to be a person against us. For that reason, in each place in which ye do your own good, pray do also our ill to the fullest extent ye can and we will do your ill to the absolute utmost of our ability, with God's will. We being at Knockdoney Hill, 6 February, 1600" - Hugh O'Neill - translated from Irish by Flann O'Brien. It's a 'with us or against us' kind of thing.

As is the Spanish Requeriemento

"...But if you do not do this [convert to Catholicism), and maliciously make delay in it, I certify to you that, with the help of God, we shall powerfully enter into your country, and shall make war against you in all ways and manners that we can, and shall subject you to the yoke and obedience of the Church and of their highnesses; we shall take you, and your wives, and your children, and shall make slaves of them, and as such shall sell and dispose of them as their highnesses may command; and we shall take away your goods, and shall do you all the mischief and damage that we can, as to vassals who do not obey, and refuse to receive their lord, and resist and contradict him; and we protest that the deaths and losses which shall accrue from this are your fault, and not that of their highnesses, or ours, nor of these cavaliers who come with us."

Captain Gonzalo de Aguilera, General Franco's press liaison, blamed the Spanish Civil War war on "the introduction of modern drainage. Prior to this, the riffraff had been killed by various useful diseases; now they survived and, of course, were above themselves . . . Had we no sewers in Madrid, Barcelona and Bilbao, all these red leaders would have died in their infancy instead of exciting the rabble and causing good Spanish blood to flow. When the war is over, we should destroy the sewers."

Mark

Ok this one took a good 90 minutes to compile and Ive tried to snip out the 'lesser' ones

Mahatma Gandhi
"I have learned through bitter experience the one supreme lesson to conserve my anger, and as heat conserved is transmitted into energy, even so our anger controlled can be transmitted into a power that can move the world."

Winston Churchill
"The price of greatness is responsibility."

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened."

"When asked to name the chief qualification a politician should have. "It's the ability to foretell what will happen tomorrow, next month, and next year --- and to explain afterward why it didn't happen."

"The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes."

"If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time--a tremendous whack."

"I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma."

"The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey. By diligent effort, I learned to like it."

"It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations."

"Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put."

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

"History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it."

Leonardo da Vinci
"Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind."

A. Whitney Brown
"Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's very embarrassing."

Albert Einstein
"To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself."

"I have deep faith that the principle of the universe will be beautiful and simple."

"Joy in looking and comprehending is nature's most beautiful gift."

"The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them."

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

John F. Kennedy"
The mere absence of war is not peace."

Thomas Jefferson
"The constitutions of most of our states assert that all power is inherent in the people."

Henry Kissinger
"The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously."

Abraham Lincoln
"I am a slow walker, but I never walk back."

"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves, and, under a just God cannot long retain it."

Franklin Delano Roosevelt
"I have seen the agony of mothers and wives. I hate war."

Mao Tse-Tung
"We think too small. Like the frog at the bottom of the well. He thinks the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he surfaced, he would have an entirely different view."

Oscar Wilde
"No man is rich enough to buy back his past."

"Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason."

Princess Margaret
"The Irish -- they're all pigs!"

Georges Clemenceau
"America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization."

"War is too serious a matter to entrust to military men."

Benjamin Disraeli
"Read no history: nothing but biography, for that is life without theory."

Haille Selassie
"Throughout history it has been the inaction of those who could have acted the indifference of those who should have known better, the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most, that has made it possible for evil to triumph."

George Bernard Shaw
"We learn from history that we learn nothing from history."

Douglas Adams
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."

Martin Luther King Jr
Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice. Justice at its best is love correcting everything that stands against love.

Robert A. Heinlein
"Does history record any case in which the majority was right?"

Chicago Mayor Richard Daley
"No man is an Ireland."

General George S. Patton
"Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity."

"A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow."

"I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom."

William Butler Yeats
"In dreams begins responsibility"

Irish Proverbs (apparently)
You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.

You never miss the water till the well has run dry.

Remember even if you loose all, keep your good name; for if you loose that you are worthless.

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth.

DapperGent

Thanks Mark I printed that out and it kept me wonderful company on my smoke break.

A. Whitney Brown
"Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's very embarrassing."

I really liked that one.

Mark

Hehe tisnt a problem. Personally my favourite was

"The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey. By diligent effort, I learned to like it."

kanurocks

I can see why this is so popular!!

Gordon

"There are three kinds of lies:lies, damn lies and statistics" Was not originally said by Mark Twain [as used in his autobiography]. It was credited to Benjamin Disraeli.

"If I have seen further it is by standing ono the shoulders of giants". Newton actually wrote this in relatio to a very short man - Robert Hooke. Hooke claimed that Newton was an intellectual pirate. Newton did a dig at the short fellow (and took this from a line in "Anatony of Melancholy". One could translate Newtons quote as: "while I admit to building on the work of my scientific predecessors, I certainly didn't learn anything from a dwarf like you".

"Go west young man, go west." thought to be written by Horace Greeley was actually written by an Indiana journalist - John L Soule in the "Terre Haute express" 1851.

"I cannot tell a lie" Not by George Washington, his biographer made up the story about him cutting down the cherry tree including this quote. It was published after Washingtons death incidentally.

"Elementary my dear Watson". Holmes never said this.

"England is a nation of shopkeepers". Was not from Napoleon but taken from an economist named Adam Smith

Éomer of Rohan

Pericles
"...we do not say that a man who takes no interest in politics minds his own business. We say that he has no business here at all."

Jugurtha
"Yonder lies a city up for sale and it's days are numbered if it finds a buyer"

Napoleon
"Wherever wood floats, there I shall find the flag of England"

Khrushchev
"History is on our side...we will bury you!"

Éomer of Rohan

Vladimir Nabokov
"I should let only my heart have memory and all the rest rely on memory, that long drawn sunset of one's personal truth"

Éomer of Rohan

Stalin
"If they want a war of extermination, they shall have one!" (November 7 1942 Speech in Moscow)

JF Kennedy
"A person should not believe in an 'ism,' a person should believe in himself."

Woodrow Wilson
"Armed neutrality is ineffective enough at best"

Eugene V Debs
"The master-class has always started the wars. The subject class have always fought the battles. The master-class has nothing to lose and everything to gain. The subject class has everything to lose. Especially their lives.

TheProvost

I must admit, some of these quotes are most excellent. I might as well contribute my own meagre offerings ?(these might be a bit lighter than what you wanted, if so...)


Companions the creator seeks, not corpses, not herds and believers. Fellow creators the creator seeks--those who write new values on new tablets. Companions the creator seeks, and fellow harvesters; for everything about him is ripe for the harvest.

Friedrich Nietzsche
"Thus Spoke Zarathustra"

As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth's final century, free flow of information is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on information flow will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on public discourse has begun its rapid slide into despotism. Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master.

Commissioner Pravin Lal

Superior training and superior weaponry have, when taken together, a geometric effect on overall military strength. Well-trained, well-equipped troops can stand up to many more times their lesser brethren than linear arithmetic would seem to indicate.

Spartan Battle Manual

The popular stereotype of the researcher is that of a skeptic and a pessimist. Nothing could be further from the truth! Scientists must be optimists at heart, in order to block out the incessant chorus of those who say "It cannot be done."

Academician Prokhor Zakharov

If I determine the enemy's disposition of forces while I have no perceptible form, I can concentrate my forces while the enemy is fragmented. The pinnacle of military deployment approaches the formless: if it is formless, then even the deepest spy cannot discern it nor the wise make plans against it.

Sun Tzu
"The Art of War"

We are all aware that the senses can be deceived, the eyes fooled. But how can we be sure our senses are not being deceived at any particular time, or even all the time? Might I just be a brain in a tank somewhere, tricked all my life into believing in the events of this world by some insane computer? And does my life gain or lose meaning based on my reaction to such solipsism?

Project PYRRHO, Specimen 46, Vat 7
Activity Recorded M.Y. 2302.22467
TERMINATION OF SPECIMEN ADVISED:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Éomer of Rohan

Are most of those not from Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri?

Sun Tzu's Art of War (edited by James Clavell)
"...know your enemy and you shall win fifty of a hundred battles. Know yourself and you will win fifty of a hundred battles. Know your enemy and yourself and you will be undefeated."

Mark

might as well contribute my own meagre offerings ?(these might be a bit lighter than what you wanted, if so...)

Meagre? Not at all old bean
I had seen none of them before, and they were all enjoyable to read.

Albert Einstein

"So long as there are men there will be wars."

"With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon."

"We have to do the best we can. This is our sacred human responsibility."

Sigmund Freud

"The great question that has never been answered and which I have not been able to answer....is, What does a women want?"

"No other technique for the conduct of life attaches the individual so firmly to reality as laying emphasis on work; for his work at least gives him a secure place in a portion of reality, in the human community."

"When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it."

Mahatma Gandhi

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

"Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress."

"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible but in the end, they always fall - think of it, ALWAYS."

"My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition."

Plato

"Only the dead have seen the end of war."

"To be at once exceedingly wealthy and good is impossible."

"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will fin d a way around the laws."

Alan Alda

"It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary be rich."

Bill Austin

"I have a mind like a steel trap. Stuff gets in there and WHAM! It never gets back out again."

"People Ask Me, "Why is it free?" and I tell them (really slowly) "Because it doesn't cost anything." "

Mark Twain

"Sacred cows make the best hamburger."

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this it the ideal life."

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."

"Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

"It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."

Marni Jackson

"Motherhood is like Albania - you can't trust the descriptions in the books, you have to go there."

Groucho Marx

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

"A man is only as old as the woman he feels."

"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it."

"Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas."

"Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted."

Leonardo Da Vinci

"Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind."

"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand."

"Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer since to remain constantly at work will cause you to lose power of judgment. Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller, and more of it can be taken in at a glance, and a lack of harmony or portion is more readily seen."

TheProvost

Of course, SMAC is one of the greatest sources of quotations EVAR!

And in honour of Mark's contribution (install lunix, problem solved) I shall quote the great Groucho once again

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got in my pyjamas I'll never know. But then we tried to get his tusks off, which was very difficult. Of course in Alabama, the Tuscaloosa, but that's entirely irrelephant...

You're a disgrace to our family name of Wagstaff, if such a thing were possible.

----

And a few others -

Do you believe in reincarnation, you know, that dead people come back?

You mean like Republicans?

from The Cat and the Canary

Is this Kansas City, Kansas, or Kansas City, Missouri?
- This is Wu-Hu, China
Well what is Wu-Hu doing where Kansas City ought to be?
- Maybe you are lost.
Kansas City is lost. I am here

W.C. Fields from International House

Why, certainly you must have heard of Hamlet.
Well, I meet so many people…

from Stage Door

Éomer of Rohan

A Working Man's Analysis of Psychology
"The Freudian Slip is where you say one thing and mean your mother"