What do you tell 'em?

oneweb

OK, so we're not all as out as some. Consequently, when someone in college/work asks you "have you got a girlfriend" or "so what about your girlfriend" or the likes (which I sometimes can't distinguish between meaning I act pretty straight or trying to find out if I'm maybe not straight) - how do you reply?

I just say no, or don't have one. I'm getting better lately with "nah, I don't have a partner, yet" Nobody has gone further to ask about a boyfriend.

So if people ask you a question 'in the str8', do you reply 'in the gay', or just let it pass the easiest way?

swiss

If the person knows I'm gay, I'd just say straight out (no pun intended) whether I'm with a guy or not. If they don't then I usually respond along the lines of "no, I'm not with anyone at the moment" or "yeah I have a partner" or something similar, without really relating specifically to gender.

If the person asks about my sexuality, then I'll give them a straight answer (again, no pun intended) and tell them that I'm gay. Simple enough really, although sometimes I do like to shock people

yellum

"Have you got a girlfriend ? "
"I'm not seeing anyone now"

Before in work when I was out to a very small number there I would answer questions about my lovelife with "this person I'm seeing " etc Now I don't bother but I don't go out of my way to say I'm gay either.

If people ask have I a girlfriend now I say: "Nope, I don't fancy girls "

STaN

"Have you got a girlfriend?"

"No but i broke up with my boyfriend (insert time - fake - here) [a month] ago"

I rarely will pronounce that i am gay.

BuffyBot

I just tell them "Nope I don't have a girlfriend" and if later on I become more friendly with em, well they'll know not to ask that question again

Tellox

Im usually able to tell if somebodys gay or not.


Apart from swiss, found out he was gay when that straight/gay quiz was on after hours,and he replied "straight as a bannana" .. was very shocking tbh.

swiss

Apart from swiss, found out he was gay when that straight/gay quiz was on after hours,and he replied "straight as a bannana"

Actually, the metaphor I used was a roundabout , and I didn't think it would shock people at all on boards. I guess I felt that people already knew. Ah well *shrug*. The funniest part (and I don't mean to offend anyone here) is when people I meet tell a gay joke or something, and later find out I'm gay. They're sometimes too embarrassed (at least I hope it's embarrassment ) to approach me for a while.

As for telling whether someone is gay or not by how they act, this 'gaydar' is far from an exact science. Some men act camp, and are completely straight, others act quite masculine and have no sexual interest in women whatsoever. However, sometimes a finely tuned sense of observation can pick up certain mannerisms that someone might possess that can indicate a probability that a given person is homosexual. I suppose this is how gaydar works.

[edit] I got bored and found that post Tizlox was talking about. here it is [/edit]

Victor

Originally posted by swiss
As for telling whether someone is gay or not by how they act, this 'gaydar' is far from an exact science.

OK, I'm not gay (I spam all the boards, az is disappointed ), but I met one of the above posters (for work related stuff) and neither knew nor cared they were gay. I suspect a lot of people only ask the question (a) to see if the person is available (b) to have a topic of discussion to fill the void, it usually isn't a prying question.

BTW what constitutes "out"? Being willing to answer in the affirmative to the question "are you gay?" or proactively saying "I am gay"?

yellum

Originally posted by Victor

BTW what constitutes "out"? Being willing to answer in the affirmative to the question "are you gay?" or proactively saying "I am gay"?

Not caring who knows about you sexuality.

RedOpalFruit

Generally just a "no, I'm not going out with anyone". I don't volunteer information, but I wouldn't lie if someone asked a straight question. (yay puns)

I think I'd prettymuch agree with swiss on what he says

Gargamel

My response depends on where I am, if at work I just say 'naaaah' to the 'do you have a girlfriend question', and the way I trail off with that monosyllabic answer usually implies some sort of issue the quizzer shouldn't pursue (usually they assume I just broke up with someone after that or they've already figured out I'm gay and are just testing the waters) but on my own time my usual response is 'naw, I like boys.' I think if you drag it out it implies some sort of shame or.. I dunno, discomfort on your part which leaves you open to innuendo and gossip. Gay people I think by necessity need to be more grown up than the unwashed masses because our uncompromising acceptance of ourselves is necessary to be happy day to day, the reason we need to be grown up about is that otherwise it can turn into serious narcissism! :rolleyes:

solice

well what i say is "god, women are way too much hassle, money, time, flowers, heart trouble and panic attacks, i think ill live without them".

my outlook is, if you want to know just ask and ill tell you. i was at a christmas party in the maltings bar in cork and a friend asked me. i was drunk and i just "yeah". of course i was drunk and i said it louder than i intended to and outed myself so the question is never really asked anymore.

azezil

I just tell them real casual like somthing along the lines of "nah havn't been with any women, some nice guys though".

It doesn't bother me at all.

Zillah

"Are you gay?"
"I dance on the fence"

If they don't get it they're not worth the time