Wisdom!

Joriain

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square
ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl
crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a
pub is when
your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete
stranger.

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat
green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the
digits 55378008
into a calculator.

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel
really manly.

8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the
law or not to
have
a
fire in your back garden.

10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn
up a bouncy
ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into
your school.

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as
schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it
would kill you at the first given opportunity.

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee
flushed half way through and then raced against the
flush.

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a
Frisbee.

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

24) You never ever run out of salt.

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily
feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in
something.

28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat
hangers.

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met
anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

30) The most painful household incident is wearing
socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside
a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their
nose.

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

SoundWave

hmmmmm very similar to peter kay wisdom who wrote your one?

Joriain

no sure probabvly some drunk college student!?!?
Wait then it could have been me!!



Insanity is nothing without control!

Tyrrial

they'er still good... even the seconed time

JohnK

lol
very good

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

This happened to me once. It is quite awkward...

Saruman

Very good but i have never raced against the flush,. i feel so deprived now!

Joriain

Don't !!