The fear of alien abductions is now over..

Tellox

http://www.stopabductions.com/
yes, this website teaches how how to make a "thought screen helmet", where the aliens can no longer log in to your mind, and do as they please, and therfore cannot render you passive, and can not abduct you.


tis also very stylish

“The Thought Screen Helmet is working perfectly. I have not had contact with the aliens since I first started using it. Though twice now coming back from work, I have noticed lights following to the rear of my car, so now I take the helmet with me in the car in case I am abducted. “

“Still nothing new to report here...so it must work!”

What more evidence could you need?
No more tinfoil helmets for me, stylish thought screen helmets all the way!

Puck

Hmmm I dunno, you'd probably need the moustache to complete the look.

CAUTION: Keep the thought screen helmet in the safest possible place when you are not wearing it. In Kentucky, one thought screen helmet was taken from a box that was in a closet. The abductee had dental work and could not wear it. She thought she put the helmet in a safe place. Additionally, three other thought screen helmets were taken by aliens when they were not being worn, two in Virginia and one in Brisbane, Australia.

Blitzkrieger

I've never really understood why an advanced civilisation would fly millions of light years to investigate some hick's rectum.

yellum

Originally posted by Blitzkrieger
I've never really understood why an advanced civilisation would fly millions of light years to investigate some hick's rectum.

Cos they can and it scares the **** out of the hicks ?

What happened to using tinfoil ?

mooman_00

the problem with tin foil was that it reflected the wearer's own thoughts back into their head causing massive internal problems for the wearer. It was this that is believed to have lead to the recent depression in the american economy due to the fact that most hicks are actually responsible for the well being of the american economy, hence their need for protection against aliens and aliens interest in hicks anal passages..

Gordon

Wow, need to go off and get some sticky back plastic. My last internet purchase was a purple elephant frightener. It works like a charm - I spray this "Elephantomone" aerosol over my body every day and it prevents any purple elephants from coming within visual distance from me. I am very happy with this.

Will they make one for me to buy off them d'you think?

woosaysdan

where can i get a hat like that? it would match my new black bin liner soo well!!!

Robbo

This begs the question, "why aren't the Americans sealing their rear passages with duct tape to stop probing?".

After all, they seem to think it keeps anthrax, smallpox and nukes out...

Carbiens

Originally posted by Robbo
This begs the question, "why aren't the Americans sealing their rear passages with duct tape to stop probing?".

After all, they seem to think it keeps anthrax, smallpox and nukes out...

or in:D

sorry:rolleyes:

Blitzkrieger

The last thing we need is hicks that are even more full of crap!

Dun

Anyone see this featured on Graham Norton's show? It was the one with Gillian Anderson (X-Files, aliens, geddit?). She was hilarious (and a little bit freaky!) - had the hat on soon as he took it out of his drawer. Funniest episode yet!

I think that was the one with the Tiny Tim candle as well - she pulled a pube out of it as far as I remember