Eircon wants me back

mechanima

Ever since I switched to UTVIP I have heard a LOT from Eircon...

I dunno how relevant its but this is becoming pitiful.

Today I received two seperate price lists in two seperate envelopes. Nice paper, nice big envelopes, classy, costly...

With their nice new price list in each...one had a cover note stating that they were sending the price list out in response to my enquiry about prices (??? WHAT ENQUIRY???? Only enquiry I ever make is "Why can't we have FRIACO before close of business today?").

The other cover note was as follows (I have changed some of the names to protect the innocent)...

***
February 2003

Dear Ms Gullable Schmuck,
We recently contacted you about your decision to switch to another phone company, and we would like to say thank you for taking the time to consider returning to us.
eircom's new lower prices and range of discount schemes now combine to offer you unbeatable value. On top of this, our recent minimum fee reduction means, on average, every eircom customer can now save over 16% on their calls. Our options schemes offer you a choice of tailored price reductions as well as monthly call credit, free call answering and a choice of bill options. So, however you use your phone we have the right package to both suit you and save you money.
If you decide to return to eircom, please check that all your details are correct, then just sign and return the enclosed form as soon as possible, in the FREEPOST envelope provided. For your convenience, we've supplied a duplicate sheet, which you should detach and keep for future reference.
Thank you once again for considering eircom. We appreciate the chance to be of service to you once more. In the meantime, feel free to call us on freefone 1800 566 366, if you have any further questions on coming back to eircom.
Yours sincerely,
Alan Fox
Consumer Programme Manager
***

I am STAGGERED...they SO do not "get it".

*I am in a rural exchange, in mountains, where we probably won't get ADSL at least until we get the wheel and the internal combustion engine.
*Almost my entire phone bill is internet.
*If I were to return to their service, my bills would quadruple overnight.

Frankly, I have NO PLANS to go stark raving bonkers in the immediate future, so no, I will NOT be returning to Eircon...

And then I wondered...WAIT!!!

Perhaps they aren't doing this to everybody else?

Perhaps it is just ME?

Am I being STALKED by a national telecom?

(as a precaution...my bunny rabbit has been moved to a place of safety, who wants to pop him in a pot and boil him will have to find him first)

G

BKtje

its happening to quite a few people, dont worry you are not alone.

This is illegal to do within 2 months of yo switching over to utv i think. Theres plenty of threads like this. Try giving a searcha go.

bk

Originally posted by mechanima

Perhaps it is just ME?

Am I being STALKED by a national telecom?

Nope, they actually called to my door, they gave me a load of bs on how their prices have recently been reduced and they are now cheaper then Esat (I'm still on Nolimits). Of course he didn't have a price list, he said he call back later in the week.

Unfortunately he never called back, which is a pity as I had printed off the Esat and Eircom price lists from the net for his return (unsuprisingly Esat is still cheaper for most calls). I obviously scared him off the first time

Thanx 4 The Fish

I had a guy at the door giving me the hard sell recently too. about a week later they sent a quite attractive young lady round, nearly worked too....

bk

Originally posted by Thanx 4 The Fish
I had a guy at the door giving me the hard sell recently too. about a week later they sent a quite attractive young lady round, nearly worked too....

Sounds like the same two, my guy said he was going to send a woman around later in the week, but she never arrived

mechanima

---

Nope, they actually called to my door, they gave me a load of bs on how their prices have recently been reduced and they are now cheaper then Esat (I'm still on Nolimits). Of course he didn't have a price list, he said he call back later in the week.

---

AH!!!

So THAT'S where the second price list came from...it's YOURS...shall I send it on?

Years ago the Jehovah's Witnesses went door to door, then it was Mormons...now I guess we have Eircon... *sighs*

At least the previous two never tried to scr*w you for money...

I keep wondering, wouldn't it actually be CHEAPER to just give us FRIACO?

G

Falkorre

oh gawds, I thought it was just me!

since we switched to NTHeLL we have had the same, in fact, last friday some eircon drone called to the door at 9am (Mech can tell u how unsafe that is in itself! lol ) and I with a STONKING stomach flu just opened the door, handed it a little brochure i drew up with a funny pic i found (maybe found here?) of the eircon rat smokin an scratchin its groin and info about what they would have to do to get our buisness back and slammed the door in his oily-headed little face!

now im going to crawl back 2 my pit wid my lemsip and re-hydration drink....


B

DeVore

DeVore's Telco Translation Services here!
Saying what Telcos REALLY wanted to say...

This is a continuation of a previous translation we performed for you recently!
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=65424

Originally posted by mechanima
February 2003

Dear Ms Gullable Schmuck,
We recently contacted you about your decision to switch to another phone company, and we would like to say thank you for taking the time to consider returning to us.

I've asked you out tonight so we can talk about salvaging our relationship... I mean, maybe we can still make it work eh?

eircom's new lower prices and range of discount schemes now combine to offer you unbeatable value. On top of this, our recent minimum fee reduction means, on average, every eircom customer can now save over 16% on their calls. Our options schemes offer you a choice of tailored price reductions as well as monthly call credit, free call answering and a choice of bill options. So, however you use your phone we have the right package to both suit you and save you money.

Look, I got a boob job! I've dyed my hair blonde and im wearing high heels! (However I still have the same ugly face and skanky breath as before.... you just wont know until we get all cuddly again).

If you decide to return to eircom, please check that all your details are correct, then just sign and return the enclosed form as soon as possible, in the FREEPOST envelope provided.

I mean, we can make it work? Right? I really want you back, I'll do anything you want, even that weird stuff I told you I wouldnt do before (like friaco and dropping prices).
I'll be you're fantasy (cos it sure isnt going to be reality if we have anything to do with it).

For your convenience, we've supplied a duplicate sheet, which you should detach and keep for future reference.

I have condoms in my bag here!!

Thank you once again for considering eircom. We appreciate the chance to be of service to you once more. In the meantime, feel free to call us on freefone 1800 566 366, if you have any further questions on coming back to eircom.

Ok, look if you ever want to get it together, any time, just let me know. I mean, we had some laughs didnt we? ... didnt we?


DeV.

byte

/me roffles!!

Nice one, dev!

oneweb

I like it, I like it a lot!

eth0_

Devore have you ever considered a career on the stage? heh

Mossy Monk

that's great
nice to see someone translate that load of corporate bull

MDR

very good sounds like they are employing the hard sell in fine
Glengarry Glen Ross - stylie.

does anyone have an updated pricelist comparing UTV/ESATs/EIRCOM price perminute ... it would be cool to put together a simple BS dispelling A4 information sheet for anyone who is expecting a visit.

Here is

(local) Eircom EsatBT UTVip
peak 5.07 3.81 3.8
off peak 1.26 1.27 0.95
weekend 1.26 1.26 0.95

(national)
peak 9.4 3.81 7.03
off peak 6.15 1.27 4.61
weekend 1.26 1.26 0.95

(mobile)
peak 29.2 24.12 29.2
off peak 19.46 17.78 19.46
weekend 15.24 12.68 15.24

UTV 150hrs €30
ESAT 120hrs €30
EIRCOM 0hrs €0 (no fixed price deal available)

Serbian

Originally posted by MDR
Here is

(local) Eircom EsatBT UTVip
peak 5.07 3.81 3.8
off peak 1.26 1.27 0.95
weekend 1.26 1.26 0.95

(national)
peak 9.4 3.81 7.03
off peak 6.15 1.27 4.61
weekend 1.26 1.26 0.95

(mobile)
peak 29.2 24.12 29.2
off peak 19.46 17.78 19.46
weekend 15.24 12.68 15.24

UTV 150hrs €30
ESAT 120hrs €30
EIRCOM 0hrs €0 (no fixed price deal available)

Anyone know the minium call charge for any of these companies? Might be good to add that one in too.

bk

Esat have two different packages:

1) Home phone (regular service)
Details
Pricing

2) Advantage
Details
Pricing

Note: I think the above pricing is rounded.

UTVs pricing can be found here

I might do up an article comparing these companies pricing over the weekend.

BTW Unsurprisingly I can't find Eircoms per minute charges for their normal service anywhere on the site, their options pack charges can be found here