Dear God, shoot all Americans now (unless they do it for themselves)

TwoShedsJackson

The story of Leo, the lap dog hurled to his death in a bizarre case of California road rage, has drawn almost $120,000 in reward donations -- but police said Tuesday that his killer might never be found. Sgt. Keith Dixon of the San Jose Police Department said that Leo's former owner, Sara McBurnett, had viewed a photo lineup of possible suspects Friday but did not see anyone she thought might have killed her 10-year-old white bichon frise.
People have contributed $120,000 to catch a guy who killed a dog. $120,000. For a dog killer. There are thousands of unsolved rapes and murders, and fools are lining up to send the money they won from having a rake jammed into their crotch on "America's Funniest Home Videos" to catch a dog killer? To top it off, the dog was one of those obnoxious, yappy little ****ant poodles that are about as entertaining as decaying driftwood.

from www.somethingawful.com
at risk of making a broad generalisation, all Americans are w@nkers

SantaHoe

Oh god, don't get me started...

Stephen

Ah yes, Santa's experience of Americans over tech support lines

Hobbes

Not *all* Americans are bad. Just the bad ones make more noise.

Trojan

As I said to a cow-orker re our mutual boss - "He's American, not stupid" ...

he is one of the few...

Al.

Monty - the one and only

Hmmm....I cant think of anything to say!

Hobbes

Actually now that I think of it. This is a variation on the "Penpal collecter" scam.

FreaK_BrutheR

should that not be BEFORE they do it for themselves?....and we missed out on all the fun.

Bik

Americans are a shower of tossers.

Don't get me started about their illegal blockade of Cuba.
Viva la revolucion!

Lump

I love america, Oh no wait I dont, I'm gone mad.

John

Hobbes

I think I can beat the original post. Just look at this.

TwoShedsJackson

Words fail me. Somehow I think the person who bid 10 million dollars for a sheet of wood isn't going to cough up

Izzo

Deadly Site
I personally liked the one about the parrot!

Lump

$10 million Sure thats only £9 Million I'd pay that for the piece of wood, so dont be coned, remember to convert.

John

pat kenny

You should have thought before you spoke lump.
You dont want to be labbled an american simithiser.

(hope i spelt that right)

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con

Hobbes

For those that missed it. Here it is with more lovely offerings at the end.

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Elian Items Hawked on eBay
Bids halted on raft that boy and mother supposedly used

David Lazarus, Chronicle Staff Writer Ê Tuesday,ÊMay 2, 2000

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The Elian saga continues -- on eBay.
The San Jose online auctioneer halted bidding yesterday afternoon for what was claimed to be the actual raft used by Elian Gonzalez and his mother in their ill-fated crossing from Cuba to Florida.
But bidding continued for what was listed as genuine holy water blessed by a priest in Miami's Little Havana as well as for a Frisbee that Elian reportedly dropped by accident outside the gate to his great- uncle's home.
In this latter case, a minimum bid of $3.50 was requested by the seller. No offers were made.
More than 125 Elian-related items remained up for auction. These were mostly mementos and trinkets from protesters selling for a few dollars each.
``It's a gross thing that everything becomes so commercialized, including the plight of this child,'' said Richard Becker, San Francisco coordinator for the National Committee to Send Elian Home to Cuba.
Of the more than 100 bids received for the raft, the highest was $10 million. But Henry Gomez, an eBay spokesman, said the bid was subsequently retracted, leaving the highest standing bid at $1.5 million when the proceedings came to an abrupt end.
``We reserve the right to take down any auction,'' Gomez said. ``We were concerned about this item in particular. It was attracting a lot of high bids.''
EBay also halted bidding yesterday for a tennis ball that Elian supposedly had played with as well as for what was claimed to be an actual jar of air from the Little Havana neighborhood in Miami where he had been staying.
Gomez said eBay had contacted the seller of the raft at his home in New Jersey and asked for some sort of proof that it was indeed the real deal.
``He wasn't able to offer anything,'' Gomez said.
An 800 number included with the listing was not operational.
The raft was first placed up for auction last Thursday. The listing was accompanied by a pair of color photographs showing a wooden platform covered with straw, with an automobile tire at one end.
``This raft is still in the Govt. warehouse where I purchased it, but it will be cleared for release on June 1st,'' the seller said in a description of the item. ``I have all necessary papers for export if it is needed in another country.
``This is a genuine piece of American history,'' the description continued. ``The high bidder will become the owner of the most desirable piece of memorabilia from the new millennium.''
The seller added that he already had been approached by ``several historical societies,'' and that the raft ``is sure to be a big money maker.''
``That sounds about as credible as the Shroud of Turin,'' said Becker of the Send Elian Home committee.
``It's unfortunate that this is going on,'' he said. ``But it's not surprising.''
Indeed, eBay has evolved into a reliable barometer of public interest in current events. From Beanie Babies to ``Star Wars'' collectibles, whatever catches the public's fancy in any given week will almost surely be reflected in a slew of related items for auction.
``That's part of the fun of the site,'' Gomez said.
Occasionally, though, more eclectic items -- real and fake -- will pop up. In the past, these have included listings for human organs, babies and Nazi artifacts.
Gomez said eBay will continue scrutinizing Elian-related items on a case-by-case basis.

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ELIAN ON EBAY

Some of the items up for bid, and their prices as of last night:
--Hair retrieved from trash-bin: $50
--Elian ``Faberge'' Easter egg: $6
--Elian's Frisbee: $3.50
--Dirt from Elian's play yard: $2.75
--Water, blessed by priest, from Miami home where Elian stayed: $43.50