How to be the "Funny Guy" in the office

Mad_Patrick · 27-01-2003 1:16pm #1

Warning: A bit rude, so don't read it if your going to cry about it

10. Keep telling the same person they have bad breath even if they don't, and then punch them in the face.

9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you the sympathy remarks, tell everyone how you were just kidding and tell them that they are all a bunch of f ucking queers.

8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. Then during the meeting, put one finger in the air and make a noise like you are hocking up a loogie.Then spit the custard into a glass and hand it to the person next to you and say, "Beat that."

7. Inform a male co-worker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker." Then piss in his coffee and tell him that he needs a good ass f ucking.

6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and keep one hand down your pants.

5. Answer every question asked to you with "F uck if I know" then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even correspond to their actual race.

4. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your nuts. Get them all sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's hands.

3. Sh!t on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it, tell them it is the fake plastic kind. When they try to pick it up, and realize that their hand is covered in sh!t, laugh and point at them and call them a f ucking asshole.

2. Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over and yell, "It won't stop! Help me!" Then when it stops, look down and say "Oh."

1. Ask to borrow someones pen. Bring it into the bathroom and stick it in your ass. Take it back to the person you borrowed from and ask them to smell it. When they tell you that it smells bad, tell them, "It should. I had it in my ass."

Mr E · 27-01-2003 1:42pm

They're rude alright, but don't worry about it - people will more likely complain about the fact that they just aren't funny at all. :rolleyes:

Mad_Patrick · 27-01-2003 1:49pm

Is mise muppet mór.

Big Chief · 27-01-2003 2:21pm

Originally posted by TmB
people will more likely complain about the fact that they just aren't funny at all. :rolleyes:

agreed...

how will that make you be the "funny guy" btw?

shoulda been worded -

How to be the "Guy gettin sacked" in the office

even then it would still be a load of bollocks

Carbiens · 27-01-2003 2:35pm

:rolleyes: tumbleweed :rolleyes:

Stark · 27-01-2003 2:35pm

should be how to get committed to a "home" where they make you wear a strait-jacket and a nappy all day long.

catspring · 27-01-2003 5:27pm

Originally posted by Mad_Patrick

2. Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over and yell, "It won't stop! Help me!" Then when it stops, look down and say "Oh."

i'm assuming you run backwards for this one coz otherwise that's gonna be fairly messy.
i gotta agree with my fellow "post a reply"ers, that they are, indeed, not funny

strat · 27-01-2003 5:35pm

man there f ucking classic

ohh and mad patrick you are a f cucking asshole gay etc

*

LoLth · 27-01-2003 5:56pm

emmm,

Main Entry: 1fun·ny
Pronunciation: 'f&-nE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): fun·ni·er; -est
Date: 1756
1 a : affording light mirth and laughter : AMUSING b : seeking or intended to amuse : FACETIOUS
2 : differing from the ordinary in a suspicious, perplexing, quaint, or eccentric way : PECULIAR -- often used as a sentence modifier <funny, things didn't turn out the way we planned>
3 : involving trickery or deception <told his prisoner not to try anything funny>

One entry found for idiotic.

Main Entry: id·i·ot·ic
Pronunciation: "i-dE-'ä-tik
Variant(s): also id·i·ot·i·cal /-'ä-ti-k&l/
Function: adjective
Date: 1713
1 : characterized by idiocy
2 : showing complete lack of thought or common sense : FOOLISH

guess which the first post falls under......

sorry, but that's just not humour. It's crap. You type that while drunk?