Help please...

cournioni

OK... This is similar to flucked's thread. Myself and a girl I have known for the last 7 months had a rather big arguement last night after we were out.

The first time I'd met her was in a nite club (the same one that I was at last night). She came up to me when I was walking past and started talking to me. She gave me her number and I was with her soon after. We have been texting each other ever since. I've only been with her once or twice since then because both of us were away from home alot in that time.

After about three months I gradually stopped texting her and about two months later she text me asking why I didn't stay in touch. I've met up with her a couple of times since after a month or so of texting (which was recently). I asked her would she like to go with me or be with me and she said she couldn't because she has alot of "personal shit" going on in her life at the moment. I was ok with that. I noticed the depression in her voice when I was on the phone to her since then and she was texting me back with one or two words. I asked her to tell me if she was going anywhere and if she wanted to meet up. She agreed.

I stopped texting her for a week or so again so I could see her making some effort in the "relationship" (if you can call it that). She didn't contact me at all. I went out last night and she was there. Without asking to meet up as we had agreed before. I then went over to her and tapped her on the shoulder when she was talking to one of her friends. She looked at me, turned her head and put her hand over her eyes... I thought she was ignoring me so I was on the phone to her later and I said all I wanted to do was have a chat with her and why she ignored me. She said she was crying at something and "thanks for being so sensitive" in a sarcastic tone of voice and hung up.

I've sent her three sorry messages on her phone today and she still hasn't text back. I'm totally lost! What the hell is going on?! I really do like this girl, she has had a great personality up until the last three weeks. This really is as flucked said, making me physically sick because she is very attractive also and I don't know if I'd ever get a woman in my life like this one, even if I payed! Please god someone help... What should I do?

GoneShootin

tbh Mr Napster, I wouldnt put too much effort into being with this girl. Ok so she may be all that Physically but she has far too many issues to become totally commited to a relationship.

Why should you commit to trying to help her through all of her troubles when she will not let you into her life ?

Save yourself the hassle and tormet of a stressed life and broken heart, GET OUT NOW AND KEEP GOING !!

seamus

/me echoes GS.

As much as you think she's gorgeous and all, she doesn't sound too pushed. Either do you, given the gaps in your texting.

Long-distance relationships are difficult, even for long-time partners, I would think trying to start a relationship as a long-distance one is nigh on impossible.

She said she was crying at something and "thanks for being so sensitive" in a sarcastic tone of voice and hung up.

Don't bother, she wont be worth the hassle.

wee_lady

tbh, i dont really get this whole idea of waiting to see if she'd txt u!! maybe while u where waiting for her she was waiting for u?

i had a similar problem to this recently, where he wasnt paying me much attention...sayd he loved me fair nuff but didnt really go out of his way to show it. i ended it, he comes back and is NOW payin me the attention he should have then.

maybe i a sense this girl actually does care but if she's got all these "personal issues" and can't be bothered sharing them with you then is she really worth it? and is it a relationship that's gonna go somewhere??

Kell

Honesty dude- give her a call and suggest to her that without trying to get into her head, perhaps if you knew what was going on in her life, might make your own situation a little easier to deal with.

Or alternatively, you could think along the lines of "If she is that good looking and not hitched, engaged or married, there must be something seriously f*cked with her brain" and leave it at that.:)

cournioni

She rang me last night. She said that there was an unbelieveable amount of stuff going on in her life and that study is her main priority. She then said that she was freaked out by the way I reacted on Saturday night but she said she was ok about it because it had happened to her before.

I text her back saying that it wasn't a problem. I'm sorry again and best of luck in life.

That was it.

Kell

Piish eh? Always happens to the nicest blokes as well. A word of advice from someone who found out the hard way. If they say that theres too much shít going on in their life to get into anything, they're not worth it, ever. I think it's sad that people put their life on hold for study etc when it could all just as easily go pear shaped and leave them with what? Nothing, especially friends, beacuse they all got píssed off and left too. Another piece of advice; if you're chatting this really hot chick up in a club somewhere and she says her name is Fiona, walk away. You wont regret it.

pickarooney

Originally posted by Kell
Another piece of advice; if you're chatting this really hot chick up in a club somewhere and she says her name is Fiona, walk away. You wont regret it.

So very, very true.

Lex_Diamonds

How much did u spend on this bint with her texting crap?
Id say turn tail and flee, she is majorly ****ing with your head and bank balance.

cournioni

Thanks for the help people. I'm feeling a bit better about it already.

Originally posted by Kell
Another piece of advice; if you're chatting this really hot chick up in a club somewhere and she says her name is Fiona, walk away. You wont regret it.

I'm lost? Fiona??

Farls

I think by Fiona, kell was talking about a girl he had the same experience as yourself with.

I know what your going thru man, been thru the same sort of **** before, your not too bad tho...you haven't really shared any times yet so putting her out of mind shouldn't be too hard as time goes by.

Fair play for that last txt msg, i'd say your dying to send her another one or 26!

It's all question of how much you want this, i once went out with a girl who was great looking, great personality, everyone loved her...but (there's always a but) she had so many personal problems it was unbelievable!!!I'm tlking manic depressant here, anyways it was also long distance, lucky to see each other at weekends if that so i broke it off in 2 long feck off emails and we never spoke again. Alright it took me a while to get my head sorted around 6 months i think but its the best thing ever happened. If's she's ****ed up now dnt think you can change her, if she txts u or comes back, tell her to sort her personal **** out or leave you alone.

Anywayz back to try and sort out my 'mess'.

Farlz

Is it just me or has everyone at some point thru their life had one of these girls/lads that are great but completely ****ed in the head?!?!?!....hehe....i smell a personal poll?

cournioni

Originally posted by Farls
I think by Fiona, kell was talking about a girl he had the same experience as yourself with.

Ah... ok.

I know what your going thru man, been thru the same sort of shit before, your not too bad tho...you haven't really shared any times yet so putting her out of mind shouldn't be too hard as time goes by.

Hopefully so. As you said I think everyone has gone through one of those stages where you meet someone who has problems but they could be the girl of your dreams. And it's hard to let go of someone like that. But everyone I know got over it.

Fair play for that last txt msg, i'd say your dying to send her another one or 26!

Yeah, I was itching to text her for the last day or so. Which is why I deleted her number out of my phonebook to prevent myself from doing so. And at this very moment I can't say anything right to her. So I think it was for the better that I did send that message.

If's she's fucked up now dnt think you can change her, if she txts u or comes back, tell her to sort her personal shit out or leave you alone.

That is exactly what I will do. She didn't tell me what problems she had in the first place, which made things way harder to deal with. If I had known what she was going through maybe none of this would have happened in the first place. I still feel guilty though.

Thanks for the help man...

WhiteWashMan

move on.
you hardly knew the girl. you exchanged texts, and met a few times.

and thats it.

you are infatuated, not in love.

you dont know whats happening in her life, you dont know what issues she has, you dont know what has happened to her, you dont seem to know anything about her life in fact. are you crap at asking questions, do you even care, or has it just not occured to ask these things?

in other words, if you dont know what is happening, and she hasnt told you, then mate, you really arent a good friend, so stop with the head wrecking pining, and give yourself a good shaking and get on with your life.

there are other fish in the sea.
i know.
last night i slept with a cod and chips....

ballooba

Originally posted by Kell
if you're chatting this really hot chick up in a club somewhere and she says her name is Fiona, walk away. You wont regret it.

Don't think i can help you there. Not ruling out every hot chick called fiona just cos one is ****ed up in the head. Hot chicks are hard to come by!:)

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
last night i slept with a cod and chips....

Sick ba*tard!! there are laws about cod worrying you know!!

Kell

Simple experiment to proove my Fiona theory:

Sit and think long and hard about all the people you have ever known in your life called Fiona. You'll come to the same conclusion I did- They are fúckers and thats the long and short of it.

I personally never had a bad experience with a Fiona, I was merely passing on a gem of wisdom handed down to me many a year ago and that I have lived by since.

cournioni

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
you dont know whats happening in her life, you dont know what issues she has, you dont know what has happened to her, you dont seem to know anything about her life in fact. are you crap at asking questions, do you even care, or has it just not occured to ask these things?

I have asked her and she said she didn't want to talk about it and that she hasn't told anyone about it. I am not crap at asking questions and I do care (well I did).

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by PORNAPSTER
I have asked her and she said she didn't want to talk about it and that she hasn't told anyone about it. I am not crap at asking questions and I do care (well I did).

then i suggest its safe to say that she doesnt want to confide in you because you are not the love of her life, and after all this time she still wont.
its not a case of caring for her now, or not caring any more, its a case of nothing is going to happen, and the sooner you see it dude, the sooner you can move on. there is nothing worse than moping over some bird who likes you but knows its going no further. i did it with some girl for about 5 years. wasted time man, wasted time.

thedrowner

Originally posted by Farls
It's all question of how much you want this, i once went out with a girl who was great looking, great personality, everyone loved her...but (there's always a but) she had so many personal problems it was unbelievable!!!I'm tlking manic depressant here, anyways it was also long distance, lucky to see each other at weekends if that so i broke it off in 2 long feck off emails and we never spoke again. Alright it took me a while to get my head sorted around 6 months i think but its the best thing ever happened. If's she's ****ed up now dnt think you can change her, if she txts u or comes back, tell her to sort her personal **** out or leave you alone.

Is it just me or has everyone at some point thru their life had one of these girls/lads that are great but completely ****ed in the head?!?!?!....hehe....i smell a personal poll?

yes! and yeah-it takes ages to get over it too!

cournioni

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
then i suggest its safe to say that she doesnt want to confide in you because you are not the love of her life, and after all this time she still wont.
its not a case of caring for her now, or not caring any more, its a case of nothing is going to happen, and the sooner you see it dude, the sooner you can move on. there is nothing worse than moping over some bird who likes you but knows its going no further. i did it with some girl for about 5 years. wasted time man, wasted time.

Good point. Hmmm... This will take some thinking out. I know it'll take a while as it done before but I know I'll probably get over it sooner or later. More than likely sooner if nothing happens in the coming weeks.