Liverpool FC

Kone

Gerard Houllier was caught speeding on his way to Anfield today. When
questioned he said, "I'll do anything for 3 points".

How many Liverpool fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None,
they're all happy living in the shadows.

Why do Liverpool fans put team stickers on their cars?
So they can park in the handicapped spots

A man desperate at Liverpool's current situation decides to top
himself. In his living room, alone, he prepares to hang himself. At the

very last moment, he decides upon wearing his full Liverpool kit as his

last statement. Neighbour, catching sight of the impending incident,
informs the police. On arrival, the police quickly remove the Liverpool

kit and dress the man in
stockings and suspenders. The man,totally confused asks why.
The policeman simply replies, "it's to avoid embarrassing your family."

The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow
White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a
voice Shoutsout "Liverpool are good enough to win the League." Snow
White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

Apparently, Gerard Houllier offered to send the Liverpool squad on an
all expenses paid holiday to Florida but they said they'd rather go to
Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.


Police recenlty quizzed Emile Heskey about an alleged attack on a
Pregnant lady. When asked why he attacked the woman, he replied: "I
never Realised she
was
pregnant, I thought that it was a 50-50 ball that she had up her
jumper!"

What is the difference between the Elephant man and Emile Heskey? The
Elephant Man has a better chance of scoring.

Gerard Houllier was wheeling his shopping trolley across the
supermarket Carpark when he noticed an old lady struggling with her
shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" to which the old

lady replied, "no way you got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to
sort it out!"

A bloke goes into the John Lennon Airport and manages to eventually get

into the departure lounge where his flight home is being called. All
around him there are overturned tables, smashed windows, computer
terminals broken, upturned chairs and crowd control barriers lying on
the floor. "Christ, what's happened here?" he asks one of the ground
crew. "Oh yeah...", he replies "Absolutely hopeless .... we had the
Liverpool players in here this morning filming the new Nike ad".

woosaysdan

soo true especially da 1 bout da points!!!!!

TomTom

points one is the best