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Nightmares

  • 15-01-2003 10:31pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,152 ✭✭✭


    Ok, These might be a bit unsuitable for younger people so if kharn wants to delete its ok with me.

    > >Nightmare #1
    > >After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a
    > >cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he
    > >asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some matches in the
    > >top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and
    > >found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another
    > >man. Naturally, the guy began to worry."Is this your husband?" he inquired
    > >nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend
    > >then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
    > >"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy. Calmly, the girl
    > >replied, "That's me before the operation."
    > >
    > >
    > >Nightmare #2
    > >The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to think of
    > >a way to rekindle it. One night he came home from work, and found his wife
    > >asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what should I do? Oh-I know." He
    > >proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his wife. Soon she began to
    > >gently squirm and moan in pleasure with ecstasy as she climaxed. Afterwards,
    > >the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he got there,
    > >the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving her legs. He exclaimed,
    > >"What are you doing in here?!?" She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed,
    > >"You'll wake your mother."
    > >
    > >Nightmare #3
    > >One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each
    > >other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny.
    > >With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and
    > >smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?" Horrified,
    > >she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
    > >"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grining at her.
    > >"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
    > >"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
    > >"No way! It's just too risky!"
    > >"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
    > >"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
    > >"Oh yes you can. Please?"
    > >"No, no. I just can't"
    > >"I'm begging you ... "
    > >Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister
    > >shows up in her pyjamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says,
    > >"Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need
    > >be, mom says she can come down herself and do it. But for God's sake tell
    > >him to take his hand off the intercom!"


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 235 ✭✭domeara01


    very good and they are all things that people fear in there subconcious


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,136 ✭✭✭Pugsley


    The 1st 2 are downright sick, 3rd is hillarious tho :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,780 ✭✭✭JohnK


    #1 is sick, #2 is VERY sick, #3 is funny :D


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