Quotes both memorable and profound

Zillah

Many of you will notice that although the 'kitten thread' has been running for sometime it has stagnated to insults, demands for silence and wondering who people are. I accept much of this is my fault so I try to make ammends. I call for quotes, give me comedy satire and classic. Give me something to laugh at and something so profound I'll cry. Of course I myself am an uncultured swine so can provide none but I'm sure some very clever people will get us started. Grace you're dying to give us something beautiful no doubt, do share. Sven something dark and obscure. John no hentai quotes. Poetry too! MacCavity....

Ok here's one that I can provide - while Homer is stuck in quicksand...

" Now I'll pull my feet out with my arms, and pull my arms out with my face "

Also Ralph makes a delightfully cute sig

It wasn't me!

"Isn't it weird that the same day you got a pool is the same day we realised we liked you?"

"I got a job! I got a job! Only in America could I get a job!"

I do realised I robbed that out of someone's sig.

Crash

"They say i stole my music from my father, but when they ask, i will say 'all i ever stole from my father was a fleeting glimpse!!'

- Jeff Buckley

"In ten years, we will look back on this day and beat our wives"

- Jeff Buckley

"Ouch, a lamppost!"

- Waggon, a guy in my school.

"hey chief, can i hold my gun sideways? it looks so cool"
Whatever you want Birthday boy"

ll=llannah

WHAT are you doing in my corpse hatch? I mean...my tube of innocence...-Montgomery Burns

The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.

-Goethe

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

-H. L. Mencken

"There is an art, or rather a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

- Douglas Adams

Zillah

Good good but I'm almost positive Mr Burns refers to it a an 'innocence tube'. It is one of my all time favourites. Granted I think that I might have misquoted Ralph in my sig but, hey, y'know, shut up. I must find out more about this Jeff Buckeley chap. Also, is there anything the Simpsons can't do?

ll=llannah

I probably did misquote it. oh well. I was afraid I'd do that. The simpsons are brilliant. simply brilliant.

shep the malevolent pixie

"living and ceasing to live are imaginary solutions."
- andre breton.

there's more where that came from.
sHep :cool:

Zachary Taylor

"Men are so necessarily mad, that not to be mad would amount to another form of madness. "
That's from Blaise Pascal (of theorem fame) who as well as being a mathematician was a philosopher.

In case John decides to post something:
"Friedrich Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal"
-Leo Tolstoy

I really have to quote something from Harry Truman so:
"The only new thing in the world is the history you don't yet know"

and while on the topic,
"History is philosophy derived from examples"
-Dionysius of Halicarnassus.

and finally...

"Sylvia Plath - the talented poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college girl mentality"
-Woody Allen

and

"That was quite a heavy shoe"
-Simon Halpin

PHB

Its jamesy!!

TheProvost

While I looked through my quotes I stumbled across this, the greatest insult ever devised by mankind...


Thus beginneth the insult:

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacael parasitic pond scum. and I wish you would go away.

You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel.
Duh.

Highest Regards


And now that you are all quaking in your assorted garb, allow me to continue with a smattering of Something Awful quotes

(more can be found at http://www.otd.com/~paul/Quote/sa.html)

"I consider myself a pretty middle of the road person who happens to side
more frequently with less-liberal Democrats than he does with more-liberal
Republicans. For those of you who read that sentence and just got
slightly annoyed with me; you are ****ing retarded. The same goes out to
anyone on any side of the political spectrum who thinks one party is
pretty much always right and the other is pretty much always wrong. To me
the 'middle of the road' represents reason and rationality, and the
farther you go in any direction away from that road the closer you get to
having a doctor put a helmet on you because you're so stupid you keep
trying to stab your brain with a fork."

"Sure, you won't get anything done, but that at least means you won't get
anything stupid done."

"Really though, I think the CD launcher is a beautiful idea because if I
really hated someone I'd probably want to throw an Aerosmith CD or two at
them, thus killing two birds with one 74-minute episode of aural sodomy."

"One time I was walking home through the park and I saw a UFO in the sky
with "GOODYEAR" written on it so I got home and wrote to Goodyear telling
them unless they gave me fifty million bucks then their dirty little space
secret was out. They never wrote back so now you know what they're up to
and if you buy some of their tires you'll be funding Martian death fleets
and guess who will be laughing when your corpse is frying like bacon on
the hood of my Chrysler? Me, that's who. I'll be the one laughing, not the
dead one. That will be you, you the dead guy, and me the one laughing. At
you."
-Cliff Yablonksi

[THREAD OVER ------- CUT HERE --------]

purplepolkadot

'I have the heart of a child... I keep it in a jar on my refrigerator'
said by someone.

Homer: My legs! My legs! *feeling for his legs* I can't feel my legs
Marge: Those aren't your legs Homer

Mr. Burns: Smithers; take off my belt.
Smithers: *exuberantly* With pleasure Sir

Grandpa: 'And that's why today, bananas are called Yellow Fatty Beans. Questions?'

Bart: Oh sure, like I'm really gonna take a picture of my butt

Zillah

Ok John that's a stupidly long post that I can almost garantee no one read to the end.

Dave, through subtle logic and devious thinking and James telling us we worked that out a while ago. Y'all

Here's a good one I heard today

'Don't be decieved Jimmy! If a cow had the chance he'd kill you and everyone you care about!' - Troy Mac Lure (how the hell do you spell that!?) Shep=Chloe? I can't remember, someone told me before

pretty*monster

Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick once and suck forever.


Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.
-Terry Pratchett



I grew up to have my father's looks, my father's speech patterns, my father's posture, my father's opinions, and my mother's contempt for my father.
-Jules Feiffer


"We all enter this world in the same way: naked; screaming; soaked in blood. But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there."
-Dana Gould


"We live in cheap an twisted times. Our leaders are low-rent Fascists and our laws are a tangle of mockeries. Recent polls indicate that the only people who feel optimistic about the future are first-year law students who expect to get rich by haggling over the ruins... and they are probably right."

Hunter S. Thompson, "Songs Of The Doomed"

Zachary Taylor

"beautifully rendered by a superb acting team...genius is the only word and explanation for it" - The Irish Times

I said that I would post details about "Waiting for Godot" for the benefit of people (you know who you are) so that you would not have to look at a newspaper so:

I can't go this Saturday and most of us are poor so the only(I lie) solution is that we go on Saturday the 18th in the afternoon when it is pretty cheap, like yourselves. It's on in the Gate Theatre, a large romanesque building, and it costs sixteen euros per ticket.

btw, well done Dave - your powers of deduction rival even Ste's

and in the name of Synergy,

"Meeow"
-Kitten

SOL

Pie is exactly3

shep the malevolent pixie

sHep=chloe
phlematic=?

"the only thing faster than light is monarchy" -terry pratchett

"invader's blood marches through my veins like giant RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS!! the pants command me! DO NOT IGNORE MY VEINS!!" -zim

"the ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit." w.s. maugham

"YOU'RE A F*CKING TOASTER!! YOU'RE NOTHING! THAT'S ALL YOU'LL EVER BE! A TOASTER! damn i have no kiwis.." -happy noodle boy

sHep :cool:

alaskagirl

" i dont think you're dedicated to sparklemotion!" - a mom on donnie's sister's dance team in donnie darko.

" ever since the first day i saw you at lab safety orientation, i've thought you we're just lovely."

"there's vodka in this? nobody told me there was vodka in this! who would put vodka in the lemonade pitcher?? i just drank the whole thing!" -ummm.... me

Zillah

Me= Gary with a go away t shirt.

James, a very plesant post

Chloe, continuing with the JTHM theme

"Oh, no no, I am still going to kill you, although you are my bestest friend in the whole room"

and

" OH MY GOD SOMEONE PUT **** IN MY PANTS!!!!!!! "

To those of you who haven't read JTHM then ignore and please don't have me committed

Mystic Fibrosis

Are we gonna ride the sun home?

SAY IT WITH ME AND WIGGLE! PEAS! PEAS! PEAS! PEAS! PEAS! LOOK! DAVID HASSLEHOFF CAN FLY!

smiles

"some say the world will end in ice, some say in fire, from what i've tasted of desire, i hold with those who favour fire. But if it had to perish twice, i know enough of hate to say that ice is also great and would suffice" ("Fire and Ice" - Robert Frost) Probably terrible quoted tho

<< Fio >>

lordsippa

Very well, I shall meet thy whim Gary but this one time...

"Banana Nirvana Manana"

"I'm lost at sea, don't bother me..."

"Odd not special"

"I'm not a human just an upright dog, nothing special and no loss"

"You gotta run run run run run take a drag or two"

"Asleep in the sun with the ocean washing over...."

"Be spiderwebbed and glazed with frost, She wears death beautifully, More stunning now than in her life, On a bed of autumn leaves"

"Oblivion carries me on his shoulder..."

"Saturday brings what Sunday steals and a child is born to a brothers heels, Sunday morning - The first born dead, and a shoebox tied with a ribbon of red..."

"You believe that you can take or leave my love for you,
You believe that you are free to choose what you can do,
You believe that feeling nothing makes you wise and strong,
Tell me that what makes me love you also makes me wrong!"

"I used to be a communist when I was a kid,
I'm not sorry."

"And the things you can't remember tell the things you can't forget that history puts a saint in every dream"

"I will not serve"

"And clenching your fist for the ones like us who are opressed by the figures of beauty, You steadied yourself, You said 'Well, nevermind, We are ugly but we have the music'"

"Trust me, I'm a junkie."

"It's a boy, You want a girl so cut off his cóck, Tie his hair in a bunch and fúck him - Call him Rita if you want..."

"I've heard stories from the chamber, Christ was born into a manger, Like some ragged stranger died upon the cross, And might I say - Seemed so fitting in its way, He was a capenter by trade. Or at least that's what I'm told"

"Pern in a gyre"

"YOU GET GUN!"

Yeah... soon to follow my random madness quote section (if anyone gets ALL of them I'll be impressed... well... there's one by me) will be a "Paul quotes" section.

Oh... and of course...

"Release the gimp"

Zillah

I shiver in anticipation

Typedef

Dr StrangeLove :

Strangelove: I would not rule out the chance to preserve a nucleus of human specimens. It would be quite easy...heh, heh...(He rolls his wheelchair forward into the light.) at the bottom of ah...some of our deeper mineshafts. Radioactivity would never penetrate a mine some thousands of feet deep, and in a matter of weeks, sufficient improvements in drilling space could easily be provided.

President: How long would you have to stay down there?

Strangelove: ...I would think that uh, possibly uh...one hundred years...It would not be difficult Mein Fuehrer! Nuclear reactors could, heh...I'm sorry, Mr. President. Nuclear reactors could provide power almost indefinitely. Greenhouses could maintain plant life. Animals could be bred and slaughtered. A quick survey would have to be made of all the available mine sites in the country, but I would guess that dwelling space for several hundred thousands of our people could easily be provided.

President: Well, I, I would hate to have to decide...who stays up and...who goes down.

<snip>

General Buck Turgidson: (judiciously) You mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Wouldn't that necessitate abandoning the so-called monogamous form of sexual relation ship?

Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to perform prodigious service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics, which will have to be of a highly stimulating order.

Pulp Fiction :

Jules: You remember Antwan Rochamora? Half black half Samoan, usta call him Tony Rocky Horror.
Vincent: Yeah, maybe, fat, right?
Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call the brother fat. He's got a weight problem. What's the ****** gonna do, he' s Somoan.
Vincent: I think I know who you mean, what about him?
Jules: Well, Marsellus ****ed his ass up good. And word around the campfire is, it was on account of Marsellus Wallace's wife
Vincent: So what'd he do? **** her?
Jules: No no no no nothing that bad.
Vincent: Well what then?
Jules: He gave her a foot message.
Vincent: A foot message?- That's it? What did Marsellus do?
Jules: Sent a couple of guys over to his place. They took him out on his patio, threw his ass over the balcony. ****** fell four stories. ...Since then, he's kinda developed a speech impediment.
Vincent: That's a damn shame.- Still I hafta say, play with matches, ya get burned.
Jules: Whaddya mean?
Vincent: You don't be givin' Marsellus Wallace's new bride a foot message.
Jules: You don't think he overreacted?
Vincent: Well Antwan probably didn't expect Marsellus to react like he did, but he had to expect a reaction.
Jules: It was a foot message, a foot message is nothing. I give my mother a foot message.
Vincent: No it's laying hands on Marsellus Wallace's new wife in a familiar way. Is it as bad as eating her pussy out- no, but you're in the same ****in' ballpark.
Jules: Whoa....whoa...whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot message , ain't even the same ****in' thing.
Vincent: Not the same thing- the same ball park.
Jules: It ain't no ballpark either. Now look, maybe your method of foot message differs from mine, but touchin' his lady's feet, and stickin' his tongue into her holiest of holies, ain't the same ball park, ain't the same league, ain't even the same ****in' sport. Foot messages don't mean ****.
Vincent: Have you ever given a foot message?
Jules: Don't be tellin' me about foot messages. I'm the ****in' foot message master.
Vincent: Given 'em a lot?
Jules: **** yeah. I got my technique down man, I don't tickle or nothin'.
Vincent: Have you ever given a guy a foot message?
Jules: **** you.....Look, just because I wouldn't give no man a foot message, don't make it right for Marsellus to throw Antwan off a building into a glass mother****in' house, ****in' up the way the ****** talks. That **** ain't right man. Mother****er do that **** to me, he better paralyze my ass, ' cause I'd kill the mother****er, you know what I'm saying?
Vincent: I'm not sayin' he was right, but you're sayin' a foot message don't mean nothin', and I'm sayin' it does. I've given a million ladies a million foot messages and they all meant somethin'. Now, we act like they don't, but they do. That's what's so ****in' cool about 'em. There's a sensual thing goin' on that nobody's talkin' about, but you know it and she knows it, ****in' Marsellus knew it, and Antwan shoulda known ****in' better. That's his ****in' wife, man. He ain't gonna have a sense of humor about that ****. You know what I'm saying?
Jules: That's an interesting point, but let's get into character.

nosmo

Originally posted by Typedef
Pulp Fiction : ...

Of course the unforgettable:
"Who's motorcycle is this?"
"'S a chopper baby!"
"Who's chopper is this?"
"Zed's"
"Who's Zed?"
"Zed's dead baby... Zed's dead.."

shep the malevolent pixie

yay there was tom waits in sven's rantyquote thing.

"you're covered in a very fine layer of fuzz." -homer to mr. burns

"only the phoenix arises and does not change. and everything changes. and nothing is truly lost." -it was somewhere in one of the sandman comics.

"you are utterly the stupidest, most self-centered, appalingest excuse for an anthropomorphic personification on this or any other plane!" -death to dream in sandman.

sHep Be wiTh yOu :cool:

lordsippa

"I don't know just where I'm going
But I wanna try for the kingdom if I can
Cause it makes me feel like I'm a man
When I stick a spike into my vein
An I tell you things aren't quite the same
When I'm lush and on my run
Oh and I feel just like Jesus' son
Oh and I guess that I just don't know
Oh and I guess that I just don't know"

Barry Aldwell

"I get the feeling that you will be the death of me." - Obi-Wan to Anakin

"You're dumber than you look, and you look pretty goddamn dumb." - Me

qwidgybo

he wasn't a tramp ted,he was the primeminister of france!

-she's probably going to put on some make-up,y'know,to impress the lads
-eh,no
-it's great to have a nun around the place,though,isn't it?gives the place a bit of glamour
-a woman's touch!
.....
ted tells me you were touching him

i didn't ted!i had jaws 2!it's a different film,a completely different film,it's a different shark!

yes,i have some sheep tea in the kitchen!

-sure,it doesn't matter what day of year it is,there's always time for a nice cup of tea.sure didn't the lord himself on the cross pause for a cup of tea before giving himself up for the world?!
-no he didn't mrs.doyle!
-well,whatever the equivilant for tea was in those days,cake or whatever.

july 19th...on this day...galway liberated from indians....marathon becomes snickers....ah-ha ted!ice age ends!

you have used two inches of sticky tape.god bless you.

they were only nuns.

BISHOPS LOVE SCI-FI!

go away!i don't want to catch the menopause!

it's like a big sea of jam coming towards us,except the jam is made out of old women.

will you sing us a song,ted?you've a lovely voice.very like celine dion!

wait a minute!they're FAKE hands!

-it's a bit much for me,father.feck this and feck that..
-yes,mrs doyle..
-ye big bastard,ugh,dreadful language..
-yes..
-ye big hairy arse,ye big fecker..fierce stuff!and of course,the f word,father.worse than feck,you know the one i mean!
-yes, i do mrs.doyle..
-f you,f your f-in wife..i don't know why they have to use language like that..i'll stick this f-in pitchfork up your hole,oh that was another one,oh yeah!
-i see what you mean,mrs.doyle!
-bastards this and bastards that,you can't move for the bastards in her novels!it's wall-to-wall bastards!
-IS IT,MRS.DOYLE?
-ye bastard,ye fecker,YE BOLLOCKS!GET YOUR BOLLOCKS OUT OF MY FACE!
-yes,you just go and prepare for the nuns!
-ride me sideways was another one!

they say it's as big as four cats,and it hase a retractable leg so it can leap up at you better...and d'y'know what ted?it lights up in the dark and it has four ears, two of them and for listening,and the other two are sort of back up ears,and it's claws are as big as cups,and for some reason,it has a tremendous fear of stamps...mrs. doyle was telling me that it's got MAGNETS on it's tail so if you're made out of metal,it can attach itself to you...and instead of a mouth,it's got four arses..........and eh,some of his ears on the inside of his head and when he ywans,it sounds like liam neeson chasing a load of hens around a barrel,and,eh,he doesn't have any eyebrows at all...except on saturdays...

I'M A HAPPY CAMPER!

ARE THOSE MY FEET?!

more water...

-chewing gum for the eyes..
-no thanks,ted.

-WHY DIDN'T YOU LIE TO HIM,TED?
-I DID!I TOLD HIM GREAT BIG MASSIVE LIES WITH FECKIN BELLS HANGING OFF THEM!

what they have,and no one can deny this,is the finest collection of boilers in the world.and i include canada in that.

-god,ted,i heard about those cults.everyone dressing in black and saying that our lord's going to come back and judge us all.
-no,dougal,that would be us,now.you're talking about catholicism there.

never buy black socks in a normal shop.THEY SHAFT YOU EVERY TIME.

-hello father
-ah,colm,hello!out and about?
-same as yourself!
-good,good!
-i hear you're a racist now,father!
-what?
-how did you get interested in that type of thing?
-who said i was a racist?
-everyone's saying it,father.should we all be racists now?what's the church's official line on it?only the farm takes up most of the day,and at night i just like a cup of tea.i don't think i can commit myself fully to the ol'racism...
......
i don't care who we get,as long as i can have a go at the greeks.THEY INVENTED GAYNESS!!

the chinese-a great bunch of lads

another great lie-in for the lads!

-what time is it?
-four o'clock
-and the eurovision..
-..is in may

(f*ckin hell)

JEALOUS?!OF MR.MILKY MAN?!I VERY MUCH THINK NOT!

DO YOU THINK THE BABIES ARE COPYING HIS STYLE?!

NUNS!REVERSE!REVERSE!

HERE'S ME EATING TONY!

i liked the english patient!very far-fetched and confusing,and VERY boring-my kind of film!

-there's a bit of shaving cream there..
-no there's not ted,you're grand
-no,on YOU,dougal
-where?
-just...there,yeah...and over there...and...dougal,it's all over the place!
-god,ted!how did that get there?!i didn't even shave this morning!

sure,jack told me once he didn't even believe in god

there is a small child lodged in the tunnel of goats...

would you like a sandwich,father bigley?they're DIAGONAL!!

-mrs.doyle,are you wearing your contact lenses?
-no,a dog ran off with them!

ARSEBISCUITS!

how's the son?

fupp off,ye grasshole!

y'know,rabbits,tennis,y'know that whole connection there

-it's just...someone i know is dying
-oh no!is it serious?

that's almost as mad as that thing you told me about the loaves and the fishes..

-our father,who art in heaven..
-hallowed
-...hallowed be thy...
-name
-...papa don't preach...

i've been drinking like a mad eejit...

-did you bring the travel scrabble,dougal?
-i did,ted.i brought the travel scrabble for when we were travelling,and the normal scrabble for when we arrived.
-good!
-oh wait,now,i forgot them both

dougal,how did you get into the church?was it like "collect twelve crisp packets and become a priest"?

THE MONEY WAS JUST RESTING IN MY ACCOUNT!

these are small,but the ones out there are FAR AWAY.

oh c'mon,ted,a volkswagen with a mind of its own,driving around the place like mad..if that's not scary,i don't know what is...

-you were wearing you're blue jumper?
-aah!sr.assumpta!

-i have to stop you there dougal
-yes,ted?
-no reason,i just have to stop you

remember that fella who was so good at fashion,they had to shoot him?

so anyway,we arrived back at,god,it must have been HALF TEN!and some of us CRAWLED IN...JANINE REILLY KNOWS WHO I'M ON ABOUT THERE,DON'T YOU?DON'T YOU?DON'T YOU?and she wasn't the only one..tony lynch TONY LYNCH!look at him there,all sweetness and light,well he wasn't like that at TEN PAST THE ELEVEN!!

i really should stop...

Typedef

"Well that was a monkey-brained opinion. Next time I want yours I'll rattle your cage. Ok?"

--Random interweb flamer.

Man U babe

"The general public is too stupid to be given hope"-Aoife Fitzgibbon-O'Riordan
"How about the power to kill a yak from 200 yards-with mind bullets?"- Tenacious D

"What's that noise?"
"My discman"
"Can you stop it?"
"I think its going to explode!"
"Why dont you just take out the batteries?"
- erm, me and my mathphy lecturer

"A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems"
-Paul Erdos

"I'm gonna rewrite the script of romeo and juliet-in binary!"
-Cathy McFadden

"and down where I live, we all wear wellies and are completely ruled by the catholic church"
-Tommy(hes a culchie of the tipp kind)

shep the malevolent pixie

jeezus christ aideen...:eek: but yay, ted is god.

sHep :cool:

lordsippa

"As smooth as a babies bottom"
"You'd know all about that wouldn't you Ted?"

Classic.

TheProvost

What you have just said... is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard.

At no point in your rambling, incoherent response was there anything that could even be considered a rational thought.

Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to you.

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul..

- Damned if I know, but I want to shake their hand

Zachary Taylor

"If I plan on killing anybody, you know, I'd want to wait till after the leaving cert. I'd feel guilty producing chemical agents when I could be spending the time studying."
-Sev

pretty*monster

Theresa: "Shut up, it's a rhetorical statement!"

It wasn't me!

I remember that! It's my only tiny claim to fame.

Right......Now, let's get Happy up here with some more of his delightfully memorable Bush quotes....

erm... Yeah.

lordsippa

To protect the ignorant I can't say who said this. But I'm sure many others will... hehe...
"Women have penises too"<said in complete sincerity>

Zillah

Was it Paul? Paul? Huh? It was Paul wasn't it?! You did promise Paul quotes, and you have delivered! Woop dee do. Let's all go laugh at Paul, Hee Hee Hee!!!!

Happy CTYI guy

It's George Bush quotin' time-

Is our children learning?

They misunderestimated me.

Its clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

I think we agree, the past is over.

I understand small business growth. I was one.

We ought to make the pie higher.

This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses.

The important question is, how many hands have i shaked?

Down in Washington, they're playing with Social Security like it's some sort of government program!

The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby causing no more war.

It's your money. You paid for it.

If affirmative action means what i've just described, what i'm for, then i'm for it.

It's going to require numerous IRA agents.

Will the highways on the internet become more few?

I know the human being and fish can co-exist peacefully.

It is clear our nation is reliant on big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas.

If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier...just as long as i'm the dictator.

Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.

We have struggle to not proceed but to preceed to the future of a nation's child.

Push the "off" button on.

Keep good relations with the Grecians.

The senator has got to understand if he's going to have he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road.

It is not Reaganesque to support a tax plan that is Clinton in nature.

It wasn't me!

Thank you Happy! At least someone listens to me!......

Barry Aldwell

Originally posted by Happy CTYI guy
You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.

George talk good now.

ll=llannah

sorry this is so long....

PINKY AND THE BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after whacking Pinky with a test tube.. "I feel cleansed!"

Ticket Saleslady: You're a tall drink of water, aint'cha darlin'?...the brain: Actually, I'm a lab mouse on stilts.

B: It must be inordinately taxing to be such a boob.
P: You have no idea.

after walking into a doorframe
" That was unpleasant....This is a pain which is going to linger... Yes! This pain will definitely be with me. " the brain

B: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
P: Uh, I think so, Brain, but where will we find a duck and a hose at this hour?

B: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
P: I think so, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor atthis time of night?

B: Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Pinky?
P: Yeah, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?

B: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I"m Pondering?
P: Uh, I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so.

B: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I"m Pondering?
P: Uh, I think so, Brain, but this time, you wear the tutu.

B: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I"m Pondering?
P: I think so, Brain, but culottes have a tendency to ride up so.

B: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
P: I think so, Brain, but if they called them sad meals, kids wouldn't buy them.

B: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
P: I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking... I mean,what would the children look like?

B: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
P: I think so, Brain, but this time, you put the trousers on the chimp.

B: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
P: Well, I think so, Brain, but I can't memorize a whole operain Yiddish.

B: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
P: Uh, I think so, Brain, but I get all clammy inside the tent.

B: Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
P: Yes, I am!

B: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
P: I think so, Brain, but pants with horizontal stripes make me look chubby.

B: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
P: Well, I think so -POIT- but where do you stick the feather and call it macroni?

B: Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering, Pinky?
P: Well, I think so, Brain, but *snort* no, no, it's too stupid!

B: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
P: Umm, I think so, Brain, but what if the chicken won't wear the nylons?

B: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
P: I think so Brain, but if you replace the "P" with an "O," my name would be Oinky, wouldn't it?

Egad! This is even better than a DuckTales episode, Brain!

Brain: I am in intense pain, Pinky.
Pinky: Ditto, Brain. Zort!

Brain: Here we are, Pinky--at the dawn of time!
Pinky: Narf, Brain. Wake me at the noon of time.

Brain: Now, Pinky, if by any chance you are captured during this mission, remember you are Gunther Heindriksen from Appenzell. You moved to
Grindelwald to drive the cog train to Murren.
Can you repeat that?
Pinky: Mmmm, no, Brain, don't think I can.

Pinky: Egad! You astound me, Brain!
Brain: That's a simple task, Pinky.

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Try to take over the world!

Barry Aldwell

"A chicken in every pot, and a cap in every ass." - Family Guy

lordsippa

I have the Pippi Longstocking one as a soundfile on my computer! Shut down sound! :P

Oh... on the note of quotes:
"Well he gave a dimestore watch,
And a ring made from a spoon,
Everyone's looking for someone to blame,
When you share my bed you share my name.
Well go ahead and call the cops,
You don't meet nice girls in coffee shops.
She said 'Baby I still love you,
Somedays there's nothing left to do.'"

Zillah

So...much...bad...grammer. Woo Hoo the thread isn't dead yet. Gee you people must have nothing to do. Isn't there someone 'leaving' soon which we have to prepare for or something? Wouldn't want them to leave without a party then they wouldn't get into college

lordsippa

II,58: Yea! deem not of change: ye shall be as ye are, & not other. Therefore
the kings of the earth shall be Kings for ever: the slaves shall serve. There is
none that shall be cast down or lifted up: all is ever as it was. Yet there are
masked ones my servants: it may be that yonder beggar is a King. A King may
choose his garment as he will: there is no certain test: but a beggar cannot
hide his poverty.
II,59: Beware therefore! Love all, lest perchance is a King concealed! Say you
so? Fool! If he be a King, thou canst not hurt him.
II,60: Therefore strike hard & low, and to hell with them, master!




I wonder who'll recognise that. But if that ain't profound and <maybe not word for word> memorable then I don't know what is.

A.'.A.'.