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Man Falls Asleep At Church

  • 23-12-2002 2:08pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 601 ✭✭✭


    One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the
    local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my
    husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very
    embarrassing. What should I do?"

    "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you.
    I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will
    motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a
    good poke in the leg."

    In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing
    this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the
    ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

    "Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the
    hatpin.

    "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr.
    Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is
    your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards
    Mrs. Jones.

    "God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

    "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.
    Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not
    notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few
    motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her
    husband with the hatpin again.

    The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore
    him his 99th son?"

    Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that
    goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half
    and shove it up your ass!"

    "Amen," replied the congregation.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,144 ✭✭✭Runfree


    Heard it b4 in different context(A little johnny joke in class) but i still like it though.


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 3,290 ✭✭✭TomTom


    First time I heard it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,216 ✭✭✭phreak


    lol. hadn't heard it before.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,984 ✭✭✭✭Lump


    Great.... heard it before, but great non-teh -less




    John


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 23,556 ✭✭✭✭Sir Digby Chicken Caesar


    oh for th elove of....


    it should be the woman who is falling asleep in church and the man who is poking her...

    doesn't it make more sense for a woman to be cplaining about being "Poked"?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 236 ✭✭Hunter-FLUID


    lol that was brillent... :D:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,945 ✭✭✭D-Generate


    Oh for fuck sake Mordeth, every single joke posted up you criticize how it was told. I thought he told the joke very well and if you don't like how most jokes on this board are told then why don't you post up some of your own fucking jokes or just stop reading the board.

    Bravo, I like that joke :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,798 ✭✭✭Funky


    brilliant joke
    and mordeth ffs its a joke its such a tiny tiny difference which doesnt even make it more funny really to have the woman being poked , it doesnt affect the punchline at all


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 553 ✭✭✭irishman_abroad


    rofl thats class


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