Conspiracy Theories...

DeVore

Ok, I decided to start an entirely new topic for this because I've been laughing my ass off at some of this stuff... its comedy gold (in fact I've thought about putting it in Humour but decided against it).

What I'm after are the loopyist nutjobs on the net. I've found some absolute classics during the whole "investigate the freemasons" thread, but I was thinking that we might have a quick look around for others.

For example, I found the quoted passage on:
http://www.livegem.net/jesusisback/index.htm
This starts off as a standard rant against freemasonry but then quickly mutates into something funnier...

____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________
Today is the 4th anniversary of the murder of Lady Diana and Dodi Alfayed. Their murder was ordered by Prince Charles the king of Freemasonry. 31 August 2001. ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Biblically the two end time witnesses are Lady Diana and Dodi Elfayed because they had the potential to unit the Christian and Muslim world and destroy the Devil that seperates the nations. _________________________________________________ The reality is that they were angels in human form sent, in fact many of you are and may not know it, sent to be born to the Earth to meet, fall in love and die at the hand of Freemasonry. That moment in time, forever marked the end of the Devil and enable Christ to reveal how this is the case.

Theres tons of that stuff on that site... its really quite disturbing...

And from the same author I think:
http://www.mygem.net/waterangel/

This is why the Muslim's are to them animals, and their property is in fact theirs to take in any way they can. The similarities of thought between the Freemason [Knights Templars] and the Jewish Talmud mentality is such that we can see the connection that Freemasonry is a puppet of the Elders of Zion. I have told the Jews via their embassies world wide that I am Christ, and that their puppets Freemasonry, and their servants the Christian churches, will not accept me no matter what I do, simply because they know absolutely I am the Christ, and they also know that I am the King and Redeemer of Islam. They know where I live and have an open invitation to send assassins, and know that I am slowly becoming known in the Muslim world and time for Satan is running out.

The bit I love is the "I have told the Jews via their embassies world wide that I am Christ" ... I can see someone in the embassy looking out the window and muttering "oh sh|t here comes that nutjob again... you know the one... the guy who thinks he's Christ"
And this bit "that their puppets Freemasonry, and their servants the Christian churches, will not accept me no matter what I do, simply because they know absolutely I am the Christ"

Or maybe its cos you're a flippin fruitcake mate hahahah.


I dunno why this stuff makes me laugh. These people are probably disturbed mentally but they are capable of creating websites!! Wackos of the world unite... you have nothing to lose but your browsers...


DeV.

phaxx

http://totl.net/Cult/

Temple Ov Thee Lemur has a "Cult ov thee Week" section, some of which are pretty far-out.

DeVore

Oh thats GOLD phaxx!!

I love the rating system "How many cans short of a six pack: "

I love these guys:
http://www.fs4christ.com/

Figure Skaters for Christ!!

DeV.

DeVore

These guys are well strange....
http://www.rael.org

They believe in the Alien race called the Elohim... now its been a long time since I read the books but weren't the peaceful alien type creatures in The Thomas Covenant Trilogies called the Elohim ?

Anyway, if you want to know more you can book into one of their (5-continent wide!) induction ceremonies. Only 400 euro.

DeV.

amp

If this thread is just about getting wierdo's websites and laughing at them then it's going to get moved to After Hours.

Make with the intelligent debate already.

DeVore

Bah Ampy-No-Fun!!!

We dont actually have a decent forum for stuff like this... is it time for the Boards version of Alt.Stupid? World Weird Web?

DeV.

amp

This is Humanities. There is no fun here. Is there any indication of fun in the charter? No.

Discussion about new boards belongs to Admin. But as to the alt.stupidity equivilant on boards, I'd have to say the nearest would be After Hours, which is where this thread is going.

MiCr0

isn't that the counter-strike board?

amp

Ah, being compared to alt.stupidity is an honour. One of the funniest newsfroups EVAR! See my homepage for more details.

DeVore

Bah Humbug!

Ok, we'll discuss the idea for a new board on Admin and continue this thread here...

Spoiltsport

DeV.

DeVore

So, back on topic...
Can anyone point out some other wackos out there?
I still think Phaxx has hit absolute gold with his offering...

DeV.

Samba

I have just had a premonition. There is an alien race posing as humans and frequenting swingers clubs. They are gathering human samples to clone us and integrate themselves into our world to prepare for their master plan. This is serious people, we must all unite and stop these swingers from the far reaches of the galaxy. I think the government in in on it too. I once saw a swinger(most likely a gay alien one) speaking to a cigarette smoking man in an alley. This cigarette smoking man is obviously the real-life x-files guy. I was shocked, I ran away but knocked over a can and was spotted. Soon I was being chased by some men in black part 2. I ran into a fastfood resaurant where my friend works and jumped in the freezer because I heard somewhere that they can't sense me if I'm cold. It was scary, these gay alien swingers are working with the united states and canadian government to create an ultimate master race of ant eaters. Don't you get it people? With a great and powerful race of ant eaters all of our ants will disappear. With no ants around the perfect balance of nature will be tipped too far and we will crumble into nothingness. We will become clueless and weak. This would then make us fair game for the Neanderthals to finally comes up from the depths of the sea and rule once again. You've been warned people. The gay alien swingers make their plans so complex so that you get confused and then when someone like me tries to spread the word, this confusion leads to disbelief. Do you see it now? The gay alien swingers are working with the government and the submerged neanderthal race to destroy us. The government doesn't care because they've been promised land on a distant planet called "Retae 5", they make a great curried manolar beast stew over there, you have to try it, but anyways!! It's a near perfect plan. Oh you gay alien swingers will not win this round. I'm on to you!! I'M ON TO YOUUUUUUU!!!! If you want to know how the synagogues are being used by the Muslim nuns to create styrofoam bombs, just let me know, I also know who's funding the project. Believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear people.

Ehehehehe brilliant

Taken from http://www.unsolvedmysteries.com/default.asp?action=cat12

There are loads of them

Saruman

The Irish Government has denied the existance of Aliens for years but they cant hide the truth. We all know there is a secret Alien base hidden in the Wicklow mountains that holds alien craft and where they kidnap "innocent" politicians, clone them and kill the orginal. The Alien hybrid clones then return to the Dail where they do their mad Alien scheming like how to wreck the Euro 2008 bid by pissing around and talking about imaginary stadiums and the like. This can not continue!! In fact eh its obvious that Bertie ahern is an Alien overlord bent on world domination and the enslavement of the Human race. He must be stopped!!!

They even had the nerve to use their Alien Jedi mind tricks on us to vote for the Nice Refferendum.. Everyone knows that Nice is just the next step to an Alien European Superstate. The rest of Europe is under their control, it started with Germany. Their first Hybrid was a disaster as Hitler made a balls of things so now they use guile to rule the world. As the only Sane nation left we must resist.

Right lads lets fight them on the beaches and in the sea and use the Super Hurley sticks to beat them and their Alien ways back to Planet Zog...

hedgetrimmer

You know they *want* you to click on the sites, and that each time you do, $15 is donated to the Arms race byt the Gnomes in Zurich Banks and the Little Green Men get a Visa from the REAL MIB

DeVore

Hedgetrimmer... I cant help it the Orbital Mind Control Lasers make me...


I dont mean stuff we make up ourselves I mean genuine links to freaky conspiracy stuff or just plain wacko **** (like the Figure Skaters for Jesus site).

I just couldnt believe it when I was looking around for the freemasonry links... I've always known its out there but the web REALLY has turned into the loony bin!

DeV.

The Gopher

http://geocities.com/vialls/index.html

Though quite alot of the stuff on this site is worth reading and does ask interesting questions a higher percentage is bullsh1t.It is the type of site which one minute will ask questions like who were the september 11th terrorists really working for,and later down the homepage will show passenger lists that show no arab names and theories about remote control hijacking,the whole 4000 Israelis not turning up to the WTC on September 11th(didnt something like 50,000 work in the WTC?Could close on 10% really be Israeli,seeing as Israel is a destination of immigrants rather than a nation which has large amounts of emigration).
I dont honestly believe the webmaster believes half of what he is typing.
For gods sake there is a story about how a female jewish suicide bomber killed 12 in Jerusalem.They seem to try to trick you into thinking this happened recently,not back in 1946:rolleyes:

DapperGent

Yeah I remember reading that guy when he was suggesting a US soldier from the nearby airforce base was the real killer of Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman. Nutcase.

One of the funniest ones I read was his take on that gun masscare in Port Arthur in Tasmania. He reckoned that it was a "psyop" designed to convince the Australian people that they should have greater gun control.

This was so that someone could then invade their disarmed country in order to steal it's natural resources.

How many spoons short of a silver service?

Though David Icke still takes the biscuit for me. What an incredible weirdo. The Trinity Scifi society had him over there a while ago. Truly comedy gold.

PiE

Originally posted by DeVore
We dont actually have a decent forum for stuff like this... is it time for the Boards version of Alt.Stupid? World Weird Web?

What, like the "Surreal" board that was dismissed a few months back? :]

mike65

http://www.stephenkarma.co.uk/index2.html

A fecund collection of links to subjects which Stephen Karma obsesses about. More than enough to be going on with, methinks.

Mike.

Illkillya

Originally posted by DeVore
They believe in the Alien race called the Elohim... now its been a long time since I read the books but weren't the peaceful alien type creatures in The Thomas Covenant Trilogies called the Elohim ?

There are loads of old theories about the Elohim, which is where Stephen R. Donaldson got the idea. As far as I know, a lot of people believe that there are aliens who have been coming to earth every few thousand years - they were the inspiration behind the pyramids, and the old testament, they came back a few thousand years later with Jesus Christ among them, and they will come again. Maybe some of them stayed and still live on Earth as the Elohim (same thing as Illuminati?)

Moriarty

Originally posted by Illkillya
There are loads of old theories about the Elohim, which is where Stephen R. Donaldson got the idea. As far as I know, a lot of people believe that there are aliens who have been coming to earth every few thousand years - they were the inspiration behind the pyramids, and the old testament, they came back a few thousand years later with Jesus Christ among them, and they will come again. Maybe some of them stayed and still live on Earth as the Elohim (same thing as Illuminati?)

I know it probably sounds utterly bonkers, but i would find that almost believeable. Somit funny has definetly being going on at certain times in our past (c 10,000bc, for instance..) Current 'accepted' history is, i feel, turning a blind eye to finds over the past 50->100 or so years. When you think about it hypothetically, its not unreasonable to say that 'aliens' might interact with humans like that.

Then you think about mayan, egyptian and inca civilisations that all have very, very (imo too similar to be coincedence) similar icons and architecture, all prospered in and around the same period, and were all apparently totally seperate civilisations according to current accepted history, your head begins to start telling you that somethings missing. Hey, its 99.99% nothing to do with aliens, but it makes you wonder if we are missing such obvious signs from our past, what has been lost or misinterpreted over the years.

Ill come back to this when im not drunk

Biffa Bacon

Originally posted by amp
If this thread is just about getting wierdo's websites and laughing at them then it's going to get moved to After Hours.

Make with the intelligent debate already.

I thought DeVore was the boss of boards.ie?

Clintons Cat

i was kind of disturbed to find this outfit still opperating

Heavensgate

You might remember a lot of their members similtaneously killed themselves in 1997,after being led to believe that haileys comet was hideing the return of an alien vessel that was coming to pick up the faithful.

Kind of takes the level of wierd to a whole new level

DeVore

Originally posted by Biffa Bacon
I thought DeVore was the boss of boards.ie?

Oh Biffa.... biffa biffa biffa....


Someone explain it to him.

DeV.

phreak

Originally posted by DeVore

Someone explain it to him.

DeV.

DeVore is terrified of the mighty Amp so he just takes it

Doodee

Kurt cobains suicide.
There is some peculation around this.
and for a good read on why then buy the book
"Who killed kurt cobain" which doesnt say that he may/maynot have been murdered, but just provides enough evidance to re-open the case.

Boo Erns!

Dev is the daddy of Boards.ie
Eircom really own it

Illkillya

Originally posted by Clintons Cat
i was kind of disturbed to find this outfit still opperating

Heavensgate

You might remember a lot of their members similtaneously killed themselves in 1997,after being led to believe that haileys comet was hideing the return of an alien vessel that was coming to pick up the faithful.

Kind of takes the level of wierd to a whole new level

ya i saw a documentary they made beforehand... very weird

amp

Originally posted by DeVore
Oh Biffa.... biffa biffa biffa....


Someone explain it to him.

DeV.

DeVore is my lap-puppy.

*ouch*

Ok, when DeV posts as a user he puts aside his FIST OF DISTRUCTION and becomes just another ordinary punter and is thus subject to charters and rules and suchlike.


Here lap-puppy! Here boy!

DeVore

Very good Amp, heres a gold star, go to the head of the class...

DeV.

mirv

Only because he's using his FIST for other purposes.

Talliesin

Muppets!

Elohim is one of the "common" terms for God in the Hebrew Scriptures. El, Elohim and Eloah are frequently used in the scriptures to mean "god", with Yahweh/Jehovah/YHWH being used as a proper name.

While it is a plural word form (the -im being a way to pluralise Hebrew words, with cherubim, goyim, kibbutzim and seraphim being examples that survived upon the word being adopted into English use) it does not necessarily mean that there is more than one of them. Whether it is a plural of Eloah or a special plural derived from El is disputed. As is whether the plural is a remnant of earlier polytheistic belief or a representation of Elohim as being as/more powerful than the entire pantheons of other peoples or containing everything by being its creator is also disputed.

An interesting word which leads to interesting theories as to the pre-Judaic beliefs of the region, but to jump to it being a term for a group of aliens seems a leap-of-faith before you look