would you read this...

BEAT

This is the basic story line of my new book...
my question is how many of you find it interesting and would buy/read it if it were on market in your local Eason's?
All opinions welcome.

25 year’s ago a crime was committed and a child was born. The man that committed the crime was the biological father of this child…but the child wouldn’t know this until 13 years later.
The man committed another crime and in doing so killed a child, this was 2 yrs after the child in question was born.
The man was sent to prison and 12 yrs later he was released. He immediately went back into his old habits and attempted to kill yet another child. He was sent to prison immediately, but the evidence was inconclusive so they kept him on other charges.
In the meantime the child in question found out that the father they had known their whole life was not their father and the child was told how they came to be.
The child’s sheltered life began to crumble and 2 yrs after the child found out an attempt was made and the child found that the “man” was at a nearby prison awaiting trial.
The child was taken to the jailhouse by the mother and they arrived unannounced to meet this man.
When the man came out of holding and was lead to the table he did not recognize the mother and didn’t know who the child was until the child introduced herself.
A look of bewilderment came over the Man’s face and he was speechless for a moment.
He began to explain why he was there and to try and convince them he was innocent this time, making no mention of his previous murder…of such similar a story.
The child was confused not knowing what to believe and so they arranged for another meeting.
The meetings were not too often but over the next 2 years there were about 5 in total. They wrote to each other and on holidays and birthdays the man, now trying to be a father, would make a phone call to the child.
The child didn’t want to bond with this man, but simply to find out why he did the things he did and to find out personal things as well.
When the man was nearing his release date and he was trying to make plans to be in the child, now adult’s life, the adult sent a letter explaining that there would never be a life for them together and told the man what they were trying to accomplish.
The man was not expecting this and so out of desperation sent a letter that was, between the lines, a letter of threat.
The child ignored it in fear and was sent another letter…the child realized long before what the ‘man’ was trying to do and why he had killed the child years before so was now in a state of fear.
The now adult moved far away in hopes that the ‘man’ would not come looking once he was released. The ‘man’ sent a letter to the new address; he knew where she was even from behind bars.
The child began to make plans to move somewhere where no one would think to look, and did not tell anyone, not even family, what the underlying reasons were.

The now child in question was now somewhere she felt was safe and was trying to live a normal life.
The question always remains though, what happens if he does find her and tries to make contact.
She knows that he will ultimately kill her…that is the way his mind works; it’s why he killed the other child.
You see, after he raped the mother by gunpoint 25 yrs ago she finally found a way to get away from him…she told the family what had been happening. He had her so afraid to tell anyone of all the abuse he had been putting her through that she was finally one day trapped.
When he couldn’t be with her or near the child after the birth he became wild with anger and one day even kidnapped the baby…he only drove away with the baby for a few hours and returned. There was seemingly no harm done so no presses were charged.
He then married a woman with a baby the same age and took out his angers on that child, whom one day received one to many blows to the head and died…at the young age of two.
When he was released from prison 12 yrs later he married a woman he met while in prison and attempted to kill her daughter as well.

The Child knows now that she would surely be dead had he been aloud to be around her, and possibly the mother as well.

She also knows that if ever they meet on the outside, it will surely be her end.


**all contents copyrighted 2002**

Lafortezza

Ok, firstly I found your short version above a bit confusing and had to go back and read it for a second time before I was sure I understood which Child/Adult was which and in what order the various events happened...

Overall it sounds like a decent story, it kind of reminds me of John Grisham type stuff, dealing with jails, courts, and the more human side of crime and family connections,
this is definitely a good thing though, I've enjoyed all of Grishams books that I've read, and just look at how many books the fecker sells!

Are you going to set the book in Ireland?

Any chance of a read of the first chapter or few pages of the first chapter?

L.

thedrowner

yeah, thats exactly what it reminded me of, john grisham

and yes i would read it

banbutcher

Dito john grisham also the whole child/man was a bit confusing!!

Dickie

Thanx 4 The Fish

Obviously not if it was written like that. I don't think I have ever been so confused and had to re-read it a couple of times. It sounds like a cross between Dean Koontz and John Grisham.

Good ideas though and as long as your writing style is nothing like the description above then you could be on to a winner.

jd

Sorry I wouldn't read it..
One thing, it goes on for too long about "the child","the father" and "the man". Most readers need someone they can identify with, not vague refernces like the above.

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by jd
Sorry I wouldn't read it..
One thing, it goes on for too long about "the child","the father" and "the man". Most readers need someone they can identify with, not vague refernces like the above.

I agree here also. Far too much use of thoes phrases, especially "The child", there's a bit of ironing out to do with grammar, so say after the first paragraph give "The child" a name, and then I'd read it, but far too confusing as it is.

BEAT

sorry bout that folks, I left out the names on purpose...The story doesnt read like that...I was just offereing a summary
Thanks for the opinions....When I have it ready to be put on shelves I will let you all know!
Thanks again for the feedback...I have never read grisham or koontz, now I may have to since the majority thinks its similar.

johnnynolegs

yeah it seems to be quite good very hard to tell from this summary what the writing of it will be like though

Moonbeam

The idea does seem good,nothing that hasn't been done before though,
Your way of summerising it is terrible!!!
If you write it well and your writing is 100's ot times better then your description i cant see why it wouldn't be a good seller