Prostitution Anyone?

LegacyUser

First of all i'm deadly serious here, secondly i don't care about the moral or ethical implications of what i'm going to do, just want some infomation.

I'm a looser and i'm bloody tired waiting for Mrs Right to come along so i'ma thinking of getting a hooker. Has anyone got any experience with this, or constructive thoughts? Where would you go abouts getting a prostitute without the risk of getting an std?

SheroN

Amsterdam is probably your best bet..seeing as it's legal there...remember it is illegal in ireland.

segadreamcast

I wish I could give you an URL to one of many Irish escort sites out there...

Oeneus

Use a condom. That'll probably keep those STD's at bay.

Or another thing you could do is ask us for advice about finding this Mrs. Right. Secondly, I noticed you said "MRS" Right. That's probably where you've been going wrong, because I'm assuming she's already married. So you could start by going for the one's that are actually available. Good Luck!

The Gopher

I think Dublins main prossie pick up point is around Benburb Street.If you dont want some heroin addcited skanky bitch that will cause your willy to crumble up into a mass of sores in 6 months you could try the more expensive "call girls".They advertise in magazines like In Dublin I think.They cost more but i would imagine they are less likely to have diseases.
Personally if i could afford it I would use prostitutes if i didnt get legal sex every 2-3 days:)(f`uck it what am I saying-if i lived in the playboy mansion riding half a dozen girls a day I would still use prostitutes if I were wealthy,and if I wasnt worn out from my 6 per day habit:) ) Tho I would probably be afraid of disease all the same.:(

Does anybody know exactly how much more likely are prostitutes to have STDs?

Seraphina

prolly alot more likely to have STD's, then again they may be taking extra care.... but i doubt it, i'd say more than half of them would be using the money to feed some form of habit

Muirthile

You'd think meat-markets like slapper face jacks would put an end to prostitution...

hedgetrimmer

Go to Kings Cross, Sydney Australia...best hookers in town... Most of them are from the local university, paying their way through college and very health conscious - even state sponsored health checks!!

Kell

Amsterdam- they make you wear a rubber and there are some absolute crackers on display in some windows. I have been told that Spain, around Alicante, has an awesome brothel. €60 before you start bargaining and apparantly anything goes- two girls, anal, you get the picture. You could try somewhere like Angels in Leeson Street. I know it's all supposed to be above board, but I got the distinct impression the last time I was there that some would go the extra mile on a private basis. You would have to be very discreet with your inquiries or risk a beating from the bouncers I would say.

thegills

What ever people claim I know for a fact that there is sex available in some of the lap-dancing bars in town. Not through experience but a mate is manager of one. The only thing is it could set you back 300e. As said previously the main spots are Benburb St. and around Baggot St. near the canal. Beware as they are usually all feeding a habit and wouldn't be the cleanest.

Also the more you use prostitutes the more dependent you will become on them for sex and the least likely you are to find a Miss Right.

Most of those escort agencies will send a clean, decent looking girl to your house but will charge about 100-150e per hour.

paddyc

Thailand man its the place was there a few years ago and my mate just came back from there.... 200bht for a night anything you want, anything goes, personally i didnt jusy because i feel bad about that but the mates all had a great time and stories to tell everyone

But if your really stumped stand outside coppers theres always a fat one running about so drunk she doesnt knoe what going on and you can pull her into a taxi and bobs your uncle....

Shad0r

Originally posted by Kell
You could try somewhere like Angels in Leeson Street. I know it's all supposed to be above board, but I got the distinct impression the last time I was there that some would go the extra mile on a private basis. You would have to be very discreet with your inquiries or risk a beating from the bouncers I would say.

Yeah I'd say alot of them will altho it will cost ye.

I was on a "lads" night out about a year or so ago (cant actucally remember whether it was Angels or the other one -Strings?- on Leeson St) there and we'd been having one of those "Better than thou" contest things where you try to do one better than the the stuff your mates did....

Anyway it was coming to the end of the night and I'd had my fair share of bevvies. My mates said that they would pay for a private dance for me (20 quid, irish) but I had to find out if she would have sex with me and how much it would cost....

After much "haha, it'll prolly cost you a couple of grand once she see's ye coming" from my friends, off I went for my lapdance. When I asked her quietly after the dance whether she would be interested in meeting up after she finished work she replied that she "might be but she didnt finish till 3am". I asked how much something like that would cost to which she replied "well how much would you be willing to pay?"

Not exactly a professional but none the less willing, I only needed a price and I could be gone. Up until now I had been pretty smooth, well as smooth as a semi hammered guy in a strip joint can be, but this roadblock presented all sorts of problems. Choking back the urge to say a tenner and fall about the place laughing I rooted thru my alcohol riddled brain and managed a pretty weak, "Well that should be more your decision than mine shouldnt it? Besides I've no idea what this should cost" (which at the time was true).

After she suggested 200 Irish pounds, I thanked her and suggested maybe another time. When I went back to the lads I was reliably informed that that was a lot....I have no idea what anything like that would cost these days but it would probably be more expensive from a club like that than from an agency.

Kell

Originally posted by Shad0r
When I asked her quietly after the dance whether she would be interested in meeting up after she finished work she replied that she "might be but she didnt finish till 3am".

Wasnt the really fit, short German one with black curley hair. Christ on a bike, I nearly had to be hauled away.

You could try irishescorts.ie not that I have ever looked of course "ahem......"

Kell

Just checked that URL- it's escortsireland.net. Sorry

TwoShedsJackson

Originally posted by paddyc

But if your really stumped stand outside coppers theres always a fat one running about so drunk she doesnt knoe what going on and you can pull her into a taxi and bobs your uncle....

Wow the age of chivalry isn't dead I see

eddhorse

just a word of warning to any of these clubs , a mate of mine got very drunk and decided to go to angels with his credit card, he doesnt remember anything but was slapped with a €600 bill which we still get a good laugh about.....hehhe

Big Chief

i remember a taxi driver telling me there was a brothel on leeson street, although i had been drinking for 5-6 hours previously these arent the kinda things you forget

Typedef

Are you sure he was talking to you?

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Kell
- two girls, anal, you get the picture.

why would you get two girls to give you anal sex?
and then you get a picture of it?
youre sick!






































and yet, strangely arousing......

nanook

Originally posted by thegills
Also the more you use prostitutes the more dependent you will become on them for sex and the least likely you are to find a Miss Right.

this is a very valid point, keep looking. i am not going down the good clean leaving road here but you will probably be better off relying more on your natural ability to talk to ppl rather than the natural ability of opening your wallet.

Silent Grape

hey unreggie, send me a PM and ill have some information for you. otherwise check out the posts made by Jessie on escortsireland and email her.

mia xx

Caesar_Bojangle

its times like this that i wish i had something funny to say

Oeneus

/Oeneus ponders about whether he should also send Silent Grape a PM.

The Sweeper

If you ever do find Ms Right, and you really love this girl, and you want to tell her everything about yourself, chances are 'honey, I once did a hooker coz I was too much of a sad b*stard to score' will be your parting phrase...

As some of ye know, I've been occasionally accused of being a gurl. So here's a gurl's point of view. (This gurl's, anyway.)

A prostitite is not a substitute for a relationship. If you can't find 'Ms Right', in your own words, then you really shouldn't have too much trouble scoring a one night stand. Lord knows there's plenty of gals out there who're interested in the same thing - one night of no-ties sex.

If you want to hire a prostitute because you can't score a one night stand, then you're not really looking for Ms Right so leave her out of the picture and lets get down to basics, namely you want to get laid and you can't manage it through your appearance or attitude (because lets be honest, most people don't get further than first impressions on a one night stand).

Do you want to hire a prostitute because you're frustrated or because you're a virgin? And are you prepared for how hiring one may make you feel? (Apart from 'laid' before any of you comedians say it).

Other than that, if you're determined, go through a massage parlour or other brothel-in-disguise, (street-corner prostitutes are on street corners because no-one will house them, often due to drug or alcohol problems or diseases - alternatively try a telephone box for calling cards - a lot of prostitutes service clients in their - the prostitute's - own home which means you can call round to hers - can be cheaper than massage parlour.)

Obviously use appropriate protection, prepare to be fleeced for cash and lower your expectations of how good it's going to be.

Finally, be prepared to take responsbility for your actions - hiring a woman for sex is the sort of gesture that people can have VERY varied reactions to, and it's the sort of thing that will come back to haunt you.

To be honest, it's something I think you'll regret in the long term if you do it.

Turner

Originally posted by Silent Grape
otherwise check out the posts made by Jessie on escortsireland and email her.

mia xx

Man they even have a wap site.. Never knew hookers were so technologically advanced....

eth0_

Originally posted by Oeneus
/Oeneus ponders about whether he should also send Silent Grape a PM.

And I ponder if the nickname is alluding to work-induced haemorroids.

:-D

thedrowner

have to agree with MAJD there, if a guy told me he'd been with a prostitute, no mater how open minded i say i am, i dont think id be able to deal with it.

Kell

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
why would you get two girls to give you anal sex?
and then you get a picture of it?
youre sick!

God, I try and educate the masses as to whats available out there and get shunned for it. I mentioned that it was available. I didnt say I partook and what I actually meant was that if you're fetish was two on one, it's available, or if your fetish is anal, it's available. I wasn't speaking of them in the same act.

FreaK_BrutheR

Sex with prostitutes is like dirty and stuff.
Its different to sex with someone you actually know/like/meet whatever.
Its a different buzz altogether. Sex and prostitute sex are different like. Dirty filthy degrading sex is great but if you give a flook about the person alot of the time prostitutes or a quick pick up down the club is the way to go.

I think prostitution should be legal and cleaned up.

By the way Ive never used a prostitute and dont intend to in the near future but I don't see ANYTHING wrong with it at all so long as people realise this is not how relationships (i typed relationshops there by accident which i found quite humourous) or sec really is.

Whatever floats your boat man.... go for it!

SHOW ME THE FILTH!

Wook

'free your mind'
better to go to the ladies for hire then wait with some tension in your pants untill it explodes..and you do something stupid like harrasing woman...
100 euros for half an hour, proffesional service, everything you can think of, drinks and food on a date...way more money, not even sure you get some!
it all depends on your plan off course, serious relationships or just kinky half an hour ?

LegacyUser

Originally posted by Wook
'free your mind'
100 euros for half an hour, proffesional service, everything you can think of

Ohhh good rates, how can I contact you?

Wook

haha, no chance !! :cool:

Big Chief

Originally posted by Typedef
Are you sure he was talking to you?

im guessing so since i was the only one in the taxi :rolleyes:

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Kell
God, I try and educate the masses as to whats available out there and get shunned for it. I mentioned that it was available. I didnt say I partook and what I actually meant was that if you're fetish was two on one, it's available, or if your fetish is anal, it's available. I wasn't speaking of them in the same act.

wow.

you're really on the ball arent you!

look behind you, see that little slimey thing on the ground. that will be your sense of humour trying to get a way again.
grab it and stuff it back in your shirt pocket will you.


look, just coz youre embarassed now abot your passion for anal sex is out, dont take it out on me. personally i like a bit of midget pron, but hey, thats me.
by the way, it took me ages to find a midget small enough to turn me on in amsterdam. its not all its cracked up up to be (no pun intended) and although they ladies are hot to trot and give you a good noshing, they still go home euros richer, and you have nothing but the memory of 5 seconds and being shoved out the door as you pull your trousers up.

by the way, if you want to avoid the prostitutes, heres a good trick.*
havea shower.
have a shave.
clean yourself up.
wear a shirt.
wear some shoes.
wear some trousers.
go somewhere thats a meat market, like slapper faced cocks.
go early and start talking to some group of girls (or blokes)
get some drinks in.
ask them questions.get them to talk about themselves.
make sure they are single and not after anyone in the group.
single out someone you like after about 3 pints, who you think may be interested in you.
ply them with drink.
get drunk.
snog
go home
shag
wake up
feel cheap and meaningless
go though next week thinking of who you scored and remind yourself that you have to get out and meet more people.
join a bridge club.
grow old
die


see, its easy.


happy hunting!






























*note, i have never done any of this. any coincedence between this story and anything i have ever done is probably because i was drunk and i needed the money.

hussey

Originally posted by Big Chief
i remember a taxi driver telling me there was a brothel on leeson street, although i had been drinking for 5-6 hours previously these arent the kinda things you forget

taxi drivers is there anything they dont know

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by hussey
taxi drivers is there anything they dont know

the fastest and cheapest way to where you want to be....

NeMiSiS

Jesus ya socially inept ****o,go to one of the many many meat markets chat up some bird take her home and **** her. Life isnt difficult jesus ****ing christ! Pay for sex,then pay for the medical bills to cure the dick rot ,not that slappers would be much better..but like they probably havent ****ed 6 guys before you that night (maybe they have sorry to offend any slappers out there)

Mrs right,what the **** are you on about ? Your sick of waiting for Mrs right for sex ? So you go to the lowest common denominator ,some heroin addicted skag bag. Nice wan Romeo your Julliet will most likely have a face like a hairy ass with a shovel stuck in it.

Lots of Love

NeM

Hobbes

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
the fastest and cheapest way to where you want to be....

Oh they know it.. they just won't take it.

Caesar_Bojangle

Before you ring up tina watch the film Very Bad Things. Remember whores have feelings too. If he actually goes ahead with it, hes hardly going to brag about it to his future girlfriend/wife.

Kell

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
look behind you, see that little slimey thing on the ground. that will be your sense of humour trying to get a way again.
grab it and stuff it back in your shirt pocket will you.

The abuse, the abuse, it never stops. Oh moan, lament, lament. Good bye cruel world-

Gordon

I hope this all answers your questions unreggie.

Good luck with your choice.