Rodney Dangerfield Classics

Mr.Applepie

Rodney Dangerfield Classics

My parents hated me so much my first bath toy was an
electric toaster.

"When I was born..the doctor came out to the waiting
room and said to my father...I'm very sorry. We did
everything we could...but he pulled through."

"I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how
big I'd get."

"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back
a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted
more proof"

"Once when I was lost.. I saw a policeman and asked
him to help me find my parents. I said to him...Do
you think we'll ever find them? He said..I don't know
kid.. there are so many places they can hide."

"I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out
a window on the tenth floor... so they sent a priest
up to talk to me. He said.. On your mark..."

"Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to
put it out with an ax!"

"I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette!"

"A girl phoned me and said...Come on over there's nobody
home. I went over... Nobody was home!"

"I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.
My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some
rest."

BioHazRd

excellent

There's a couple there I hadn't heard before


Bio

Pep

Class!!!

Pugsley

My parents hated me so much my first bath toy was an
electric toaster.


rofl!

The Gopher

Ill be honest-I know very little of Rodney Dangerfield.Never seen his films and only ever heard him when he played Mr Burns son in the simpsons.But whoever he is judging by these quotes hes a funny guy!But the best of his I ever heard is used in som1s signature here.
"If it werent for pickpockets I wouldnt have a sex life"
Sheer comic genius:D