My Best Joke (incase u missed it)

coupe 02

had to give it a thread on its own as it might be missed otherwise. my best joke and i want your votes for it.




tommy and billy were stranded in a desert, the only two survivors, walked for miles. No food, Boiling heat, vultures overhead, you know the usual desert scene. "oh tommy im gona die, im starvin." I know billy, Im famished meself." with that tommy starts to sniff, sniff...snifff.....sniffffff...... jesus billy i smell something, snifff..... snifff... jesus tommy your right so do I. sniffff..sniff....snifff....jesus tommy it smells like bacon. and with that the two run towards the top of the hill. sniffing bacon all the way. With that the most amazing sight ever beheld them, at the top of the hill the smell got stronger and in sight came this big massive tree. sausges, ham, bacon, smokey bacon, pork, all hanging from this tree. well the boys took off like the clappers, quick billy its a bacon tree were saved. They ran and ran, tommy must have been more hungry cause he started to put a good distance between himself and billy.
With that just as tommy reached the tree guns came from everywhere, tanks missles, rockets started to go off. billy hit the deck and watched as tommy dived for cover,
under the cover of fire tommy shouts back,
run billy, run man, its not a bacon tree, its a shaggin hambush......

BioHazRd

Groan....admit it....your real name is Hal Roach

If that's your best, I think you need to go away for a while and think about what you are doing here:p

Bio

thegills

One word - Utter Crap

Ruaidhri

that is possibly the worse joke i've heard all day.

Gaz

Utter crap is 2 words

GoneShootin

if thats your best joke then please do not post anymore jokes

i feel an urge to call a certain card

coupe 02

sorry i posted when i was having a bad moment, and now an attempt to redeem my good standing in the community.

this guy walks into a bar and spots a pirate in the corner, looks the real deal, patch over the eye, peg leg, hook.
He approaches the pirate and asks, are you a real pirate sir. Arrr I am wee lad. Jeez says your man thats great I never met a pirate before. He asks, Well he says is that a real peg leg sir?
Arrr tiz says the pirate, I was fighting jamicans off the pacific coast and I was captured and fed to the crocs. Arrrr but I got away. Jeez says your man, Is that a real hook? Arrrr tiz says the pirate, I was fighting scavages off the atlantic and fed to the sharks when they caught me, arrrr but im still here. Oh right says your man, and is that a real patch over your eye? arrr tizzz lad, funny story that, that was on holidays in the canaries, Lying next to the misses when a bird flew by and **** in my eye. Jesus! says your man, and you lost your eye over that, arrr lad twas the day after Id got me hook.

anyone?

nanook

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, not really sure on how to comment on that one.

Wossack

Better,



oh but what the hell are scavages?

Makaveli

I think they live in a hambush.

Dun

First one - rubbish.

Second one - slightly different variation posted bout two weeks ago. But still funny.

eddhorse

i think the best joke in this post is Makaveli's ,heeehe goodun

Carbiens

i was enibriated when read the first one and i was laughing so hard i missed the second one,
after reading them both again i have to ask,

why?

rymus

see the first joke is all wrong... its supposed to be two french soldiers crawling through a desert instead of two lost chaps with generic names...

"Zis is not a bacontree, zis is a hambush!"

Yurmasyurda

Oh jebus that was bad :rolleyes: