Know your Knacker

Baldy

Not usre if this was posted b4 but anyway!

Drive a nissan micra with tinted windows, spoilers and go faster stripes and say things like:

- "go wan ye mad yoke"
- "storeeeeee bud"
- "Aroigh man wots de craic"
- "me bird has me up in court for may-enance burr oim still meetin yor wan sharden from de temple te-ator ", "she's a birrova tramp and she has four sprogs 'n' all but she's mad into me, know worroi mean man"
- "Ahh stop would ye, I was bleedin banjoed man, banjoed", "ouua de bikky"!

Call your mother aul wan and your father aul lad

Possess bum fluff on upper lip (also applies to young ones)

Social life revolves around Dr.Quirkeys, De Back Gayh (Back Gate),Da Shoooters Complex, Da Blue Banana or Jehs (Jets)

Always have a box of 10 Johnny Blue on you

On special occassions such as court appearances, christenings, funerals you must wear faded blue Levis rammed up your arse,must be accompanied by a check ben sherman shirt, with diamond jumper draped over your arm for the dressy look

Enormous sovereign rings on every finger, for girls huge gold creole(itinierant earrings) and T-bar pendant. For da fellas, gold mobile phone or boxing glove pendant from elizabeth duke collection at argos.

Multi-coloured Scanda or Patagonia jackets are essential part of wardrobe.

Must be worn with tie cord around the waist pulled tightly. It is also obligatory to wear baseball caps with the peak sitting on top of your forehead to reveal greasy fringe.

Have lots of experience of sitting down the back of the bus terrorising normal commuters while writing graffiti on the seats such as Whacko + Rasher = Best mates 2k.

Posters of Tupac/ Aslan to be placed on bedroom walls. All knackerettes must think that Christy Digman is a "riyed"

Always carry a packet of Rizla in case someone wants to "skin up"

A Portrait of your arse must be embedded into at least one wall where you sit every night all night and tell the houses owners
to f*** off when they protest

Chain must hang out over jumper at all times

Know the Macaris take away menu off by heart

Be mates with a Doyler, Git, Rayo, Whacker or Mousey

Girls are called Naaahlee (Natalie), Jasinteh (Jacinta), Janeh Janet), Imeldeh (Imelda), Shardin (Sharon) or Traycee (Tracy)...Not that these aren't nice names but when said with an accent from the Mun that you could cut bread with, the take on another significance

For da younger skangers, a moped is an essential form of transport. Helmet must be worn balancing on top of head and not
actually on it.

Pram from Da Social Worker (big enough to store stolen goods) and young child with made up name. Jenny Jones Show name such as D'yewanneh and D'yelikeh essential from the up and coming knackerette.

Spit on the pavement at least every 3 seconds.

All your relatives live in the same block of flats / street / prison
wing.

Nearest thing you have been to nature is knacker drinkin down de canal or pickpocketing culchies who come up to Dublin on Dec 8th to get their Christmas clothes.

A Copy of The Sun or The Irish Star to be held in back pocket at all times.

Pretend to follow League of Ireland but only go for the fights

Own Celtic Jersey with your own name on the back

Constantly have a scowl on your face that makes people afraid to approach you.

Your Buurd is up da powil or has a little ****er Rottweiller is essential to keep up the hardman image and threaten innocent people walking the streets. Tell them if they even look crossways that you'll get your dog to "bite the bleddin bollix off dem".

City Centre consists of Henry St & O'Connell St, the odd venture to the Donnybrook Kiddies disco is necessary at least once a month to terrorise "de poshies.

Left school before age 16.

Time spent from June to October is collecting for the bon-fiyer

House called something imaginative like Old Trafford or Celticville.

Name written on at least 10 lamposts near "your gaff" i.e.
Anto is a queer. Naaaahlee is a sluh".

Whistle at everyone and walk with arms swinging and exaggerated limp.

Common greetings called out to mates include, "Stahry Bud" or "Ahh rite Shaymo".

Name must end with an o e.g. Anto, Rayo, Micko for the boys and end with an ie for the girls, Naaahlie, Trayyysie.

Summer holidays are always in Courtown or da Canaries and you think its the best thing since sliced bread.

the fnj

Originally posted by Baldy
House called something imaginative like Old Trafford or Celticville.

Nearly fell off my chair laughing at that one.

BioHazRd

I remember getting flamed in the past for posting items that had already been seen. Since then I always do a search first - stops any excuse for the trolls to come out - and Yes - it was posted 2 weeks ago;)

Bio

bozzie

yeah it was posted before but it was more like july time that a forthnight ago

R_Tribesman

thats not know your knacker , i live in dublin which is highly populated with knackers and skangers and thats definetly a skanger.... imho

BioHazRd

Originally posted by bozzie
yeah it was posted before but it was more like july time that a forthnight ago

<cough>http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=65274 </cough>

Bio

Slutmonkey57b

I'd say that's more like a Fleck than a knacker.
There'd need to be a lot more drugs and crim charges to be a knacker.

R_Tribesman

no lol , there needs to be more horses and starved greyhounds to be a knacker

Tellox

that'd defintly be a skanger..

superconor

very funny, but what exactly is a skanger? is it a townie/kev?

Ruaidhri

lol@baldy again he funneh

whiteshadow

hardy har bleedin har

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