an ordinary life....

WhiteWashMan

im very curious.

i read the PI boards and most of the threads seem to do with sex and sexuality.

and most of the replies given are pretty much standard replies that a wide spread of people will give.

and single one of those replies could be given by me on any given day. or by anyone here.

what i want to know, is why do people not think about a lot of things before they post up.
is the youth of today getting lazy? they cant be bothered to think up a solution to a problem?
or are they underconfident? do they need to read the answer to believe it.

what ever happened tot he joy of getting egg on your face? what ever happened to the joy of being shot down in a night club? too many people are looking for the 'sure-thing'. the correct way to pick up a woman. or even 'should i move to a different county to be with him' type stuff.

its all well and good to hear what others have to say, but is not also good to experience? after all, what good is theory without practise? hell, i could list you a dozen ways to get laid, but im not going to. go and learn them yourself. its much better fun. it also allows you in your later years to sit down and moan about the state of the youth of today

so?
does anyone here have a life?
does everyone seem to need advice for 'simple' problems?

and remember one thing.
if you put your problem up for public viewing, you also open yourself up for public opinion. and some people often have a different opinion that you might not like hearing.

CodeMonkey

A lot of the replies are blatantly obvious to people looking in but maybe not for the individuals who're having the problems, who knows...and I guess people always like to be reassured that they are doing the right thing.

Beruthiel

as codemonkey said...

does everyone seem to need advice for 'simple' problems?

also, I think a lot of it is due to lack of confidence, which ironically only comes with fu*king up and learning from it.
Also, some how, most people seem to think, ya that's what someone else would do but I can't.
There is a very simple trick to advising one self, which is so simple that I probably shouldn't bother posting it, but hell, I will.

when you need advice, pretend it's your friend who has the problem, how would you advise him/her? obviously the same advice stands for you to. It's always easier to see things clearly when it's not you involved in the problem.

LegacyUser

This forum acts a bit like cheap therapy. I lets posters get things off heir chest and out into the open. I feel that actually writing the post and getting all the thoughts down into one place helps the post as much as any advice or flaming that follows.

Gordon

Crap example coming...
If I'm looking for a surefire way to win money then maybe I'll post about it asking if anyone knows. maybe.

Not comparing getting laid to winning money of course.

It is very easy for you, WWMan, and others to say that but some people being a lot younger than you (old man) haven't glimpsed experiences that have tought them what life can be all about. I don't know what the average age on PI new posts are but I would say it is a young age.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Gordon
but some people being a lot younger than you (old man) haven't glimpsed experiences that have tought them what life can be all about.

but isnt that just the point?

what good is having a life if you arent going to lead it?

i mean, it becomes boring when someone says things like, ' i havent done it, but my friends onthe boards say...........'

where is the fun in succeeding if you havent made a complete dogs dinner of things?

personally, i think anyone who has to ask how to snog someone is in serious need of kicking. the same goes for anyone who worries about penis size, breast size, whats the latest hair fashion.

whats important is what you learn while you are out and about. hairdressers are a good source of information by the way....

oh and two things.
you dont learn about life. you learn how to react to it.

and two
im not old you bástard!

Beruthiel

but I would say it is a young age

spot on Gordo, most times you can tell the age just by the question being asked...
us oldies are normally asking ourselves how the hell do they not know the answer to that one???


wwm - you are still not allowing for the fact that most people don't have as much confidence as yourself, which is a hugh factor

im not old you bástard!

ah... yes you are

Sposs

Also its good therapy in its self for people to write down their problems and get opinions off unbiased ppl who know nothing of the background of the person.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Beruthiel



wwm - you are still not allowing for the fact that most people don't have as much confidence as yourself, which is a hugh factor

im not old you bástard!

ah... yes you are

i think i can put down my past experiences to stupidity.

of course, i had to have some way of tackling them. why not head down and charge?
confidence comes when you are comfortable with things. things become more comfortable the more you know about them. oyu learn more about them when you deal with them.

why cant people learn about things?

im not old!

sposs, i agree with you. but wouldnt it be nice to see in a post something along the lines of 'i have thought about this and this is what ive come up with....a,b,c'
instead of, 'i want to shag my mate, but im afraid i will ruin the friend ship. what do i do?'

by the way, i also use this place as therepy, it allows me to express my exasperation at people from a distance. of course, its frustrating when you keep getting edited
gordon, youre ruining my therepy

Beruthiel

i think i can put down my past experiences to stupidity

me too, as I imagine it is for most people, as I said above, it's when you fu*k up that you learn the lesson

of course, i had to have some way of tackling them. why not head down and charge?

and this is the thing, it's the first time you have to take the plunge that is the hardest, after that, it's a breeze..

confidence comes when you are comfortable with things. things become more comfortable the more you know about them. oyu learn more about them when you deal with them.

the wonderful catch 22 situation....

im not old!

yes you are

LegacyUser

I think people who post problems on the PI board are spending too much time on the interputer in the first place, and are therefore probably not experiencing enough real life to know any better.
I also think that 90% of problems on the PI board could be sorted by downing a couple o beers, but then that's just me, and my opinion.
Also Merc Tilt, I think you're right about that magazine with position of the month. An invaluable source of information\bullshít.

Doc

I think a lot of the posters know what they have to do already but need to here it from someone else to give them that push to act on what ever it is.

I also think they post up for reassures that other people have experienced similar problems and they are not really freaks.(even if some replies tell them they are)

swiss

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

I was just reminded of this quote. Sometimes the people who pot these issues are young (something we are all guilty of at one time or other - although for some of us like wwm that won't be a problem ), inexperienced and lack the confidence or the perspicacity to resolve their problems in what seems to us to be the most expedient manner.

Yes we can all roll our eyes and say "do this" or "do that" and think it's bloody obvious. For the most part, it is - to us. The point is that sometimes when a person is emotionally perturbed about a particular issue they are unlikely to see the obvious and instead become drawn into wild conjecture and speculation. That is why they look for someone unattached and disconnected, to tell them the bloody obvious. It's cheap therapy, with the added advantage of almost guaranteed anonymity.

BuffyBot

I agree, I think its a great place for people to get unbiased advice about whatever.

As for WWM - The look back is always to a nicer view. It's easy to say people are lazy for using the forum - but that's what it is here for. Why not if it gives you some independent, if not always helpful, advice?

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by BuffyBot
I agree, I think its a great place for people to get unbiased advice about whatever.

i dont disagree with you

As for WWM - The look back is always to a nicer view. It's easy to say people are lazy for using the forum - but that's what it is here for. Why not if it gives you some independent, if not always helpful, advice?

isnt the ability to look back nice?
isnt it grand to say 'yep, done that, heres my story'
yes it easy for me to say people are lazy for using the forum instead of getting the experience of life.
but isnt it easy for people to be lazy and use this forum instead of experiencing life.

im not saying theres anything wrong with this forum, and im in no way putting it down. but i do believe that people are coming up with the most benign questions and situations. people seem to want an opinion on everything the do. and then to have the cheek to turn around and say things like 'well i shouldnt have done this. i dont like some of your answers, so im going to ignore them because they dont fit into what i was thinking'
do you think that is healthy?
seriously, do you feel qualified to tell someone what to do if there partner has committed suicide?
or if they were raped?
i dont.
i can give my own experiences however. how many others can do the same? given the level of questioning, id say not too many.
unless you want advice on how to snog your best mates girl....

thedrowner

as has been said previously, a lot of the times when u have a problem, especially regarding crushes etc. you focus on every little detail and bring it round to mean what you want it to mean. sometimes its nice to be able to get an objective view on your problem from soeone who doesnt know you or the people involved in the situation.

Also i know when ive posted here before, its usually because its a problem my friends knew nothing about, and this board is used by such a wide range of people that youre bound to come accross someone who has some experience in the matter.

ive always felt that when u ahve a problem and it becomes so huge to you that u start to feel isolated, and feel outcast because you dont think anyone has ever felt this way before. its so reassuring to talk about it with people, and then when a lot of people relate to it makes it seem more trivial than it did when you were keeping it to yourself.

with regards to extremely serious issues such as rape and suicide etc. ive ntoiced that whenever a serious topic does come up, the first thing that's suggested is to go tell a professional, then more people will agree, and some people will relate and tell about their dealing with the problem, which i think is positive.

i do agree that there are some posters out there who ask people to tell us what they think of their post, and when it disagrees with them, they try to defend themselves. well they've probably missed th point then. But maybe there are some posters who do take to heart what is written, and things work out for them.

LegacyUser

I guess you could say that all in all this board is a Good Thing, even if there are moronic topics here every so often. Plus it's nice to see that other peoples lives are sadder than yours, that's why there are those letter pages in womens magazines, they're years ahead you know


heck at least it's something to read whilst multishirking.

Gordon

multishirking... rofl

BuffyBot

isnt the ability to look back nice?
isnt it grand to say 'yep, done that, heres my story'
yes it easy for me to say people are lazy for using the forum instead of getting the experience of life.
but isnt it easy for people to be lazy and use this forum instead of experiencing life.

I don't think using this forum stops anyone from experiencing things - it justs gives views on the matter from different perspectives

but i do believe that people are coming up with the most benign questions and situations.

Benign, even verging on banal, to you maybe - but as someone else here posted, most of the PI users would be reasonably young. If you have an issue, even if it is small and boring to others, it wont seem like that to the person with the issue.

i dont like some of your answers, so im going to ignore them because they dont fit into what i was thinking'
do you think that is healthy?

So you don't like it when people don't listen to the advice? Bit of a different issue here. The advice given maybe right, but if they don't take it, surely they'll make the mistake and "experience life" as you put it anyway, despite posting it up in PI? That kind of cancels out your earlier point.

seriously, do you feel qualified to tell someone what to do if there partner has committed suicide?
or if they were raped? i dont. i can give my own experiences however.

I'm not qualified to dispense anything but my own experience, as are most boards users. I think everyone tends to answer queries that they have some interest or experience in. (apart from the occasional muppetry).

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by BuffyBot

So you don't like it when people don't listen to the advice? Bit of a different issue here. The advice given maybe right, but if they don't take it, surely they'll make the mistake and "experience life" as you put it anyway, despite posting it up in PI? That kind of cancels out your earlier point.

on this point i will take you up
i think you have the wrong end of the stick.

my point was people ask for advice and when a lot of people give several different opinions from empathic all the way out the other side, then some posters will post up saying 'well, im not listening to what you have to say becuase i dont want to hear what you have to say.
in other words, they dont like what is being said because they dont want to hear it.
and im not saying anyone should take any of the advice given here
im only saying that sometimes there is good advice, and sometimes there is not so good advice, the choice on what you do with it is up to you, but i think at the end of the day, you cant beat experience over advice.
hell, i wouldnt qualify myself as someone capable of giving advice to anyone, but i do have a lot of experience, and i put forward my views on things because people ask.
sure, i think some of the threads here are rediculous (wwman insults half the posters ), but it doesnt stop me from giving someone some of my experience, or telling them to cop on, whatever i feel is most suitable at the time. and im not saying that people shouldnt recieve advice.
but people have to learn that there is not sure fire proceedure for life. there is no formula.
there is only options. and you take them at your risk

and hopefully, just hopefully, you will end up with the girl and the gold and live happily ever after.

BuffyBot

my point was people ask for advice and when a lot of people give several different opinions from empathic all the way out the other side, then some posters will post up saying 'well, im not listening to what you have to say becuase i dont want to hear what you have to say.

Thats the interweb for ya

im only saying that sometimes there is good advice, and sometimes there is not so good advice, the choice on what you do with it is up to you, but i think at the end of the day, you cant beat experience over advice.

I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this one. I don't think advice from a internet message board is going to stop people doing stupid things (if only!)

sure, i think some of the threads here are rediculous (wwman insults half the posters )

Uh-huh, definitely some prize tulips in my time here anyway.

there is only options. and you take them at your risk

see above lol