Advanced mathematics ...

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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart Man + Smart Woman = romance

Smart Man + Dumb Woman = affair

Dumb Man + Smart Woman = marriage

Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = pregnancy


OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart Boss + Smart employee = profit

Smart Boss + Dumb employee = production

Dumb Boss + Smart employee = promotion

Dumb Boss + Dumb employee = overtime


SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


GENERAL EQUATIONS STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.


LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:

Old Aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

eddhorse

may do some study and learn them , they might come in handy with the whole getting through life thing !!:p

Aspro

Old Aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

I love it. Leave me alone ye coffin dodgers!!:D

Pugsley

The last one is fackin class, good un.

phobos

Class

;-phobos-)

Hoojah Nickabolokov

niceone

Mutz

Brilliant

Ruaidhri

some more really good adive man my whole life is changing around now

OLDYELLAR

haha well class!

tman

Old Aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

lmao, i must try that...

sceptre

Nice one