funny

OLDYELLAR · 26-07-2002 3:39pm #1

Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetics.
> "Why?" asks the father.
> "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"
> "But that's right!"
> "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
> "What's the ****ing difference?"
> "That's exactly what I said."

Johnny's parents were out of town once and so they asked that young female
> teacher to stay for that time in their house.
> Before going to bed Johnny says to her, "Oh, please, I'm so afraid to be
> by myself, please, sleep in my bed."
> She agrees, they go to bed. In the morning she wakes up to find a big
> hairy-chested man in her bed.
> She exclaims: "Johnny? Where is Johnny?!!!"
> "Johnny? Who is Johnny? Is that the little boy selling the tickets?"

> Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word
> 'Definitely' in a sentence?"
> First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue."
> Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..."
> Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green."
> "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."
> Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks: "Does a fart
> have lumps?"
> The teacher looks horrified and says, "Johnny! Of course not!!!"
> "OK... then I've DEFINITELY shat in my pants..."