And the winner is.......

Blitzkrieger

I thought it’d be nice to have a rant and rave about some of the lunatics on the road today, so everybody join in! We’ll ask the moderators to be a bit lenient on the swearing, etc., as long as none of you ****ers try to get around the censors.

In fifth place, we have some twat in a Fiesta. Coming to a T-junction intending to turn right, onto the main road, this idiot blasts straight out into the middle of the road looking left! If there had been anything coming from his right, not only would he not have seen them, but he would have driven right out in front of them. There’s a construction site near there so the road is well travelled by heavy lorries. He’s very lucky not to have killed himself and the other six (count ‘em – SIX!) lads in the car.

In fourth place we have some daft old bint in a Merc. On reaching the end of on-ramp to the dual-carriageway she stops, and looks back along the dual-carriageway to wait for a gap in the traffic! Now every sane person knew that there wouldn’t be a gap in the traffic, especially at rush hour, and wondered why she didn’t make use of the 700m slip-road right in front of her! Of course the twenty cars stuck behind her didn’t appreciate her blocking the entire on-ramp and were quite vocal about it. Naturally she rolled down the window and treated us to a regal wave before crawling away and driving on the hard shoulder for god knows how long.

In third place we have some twit in a Kangoo. Just thinking about buying a Kangoo should be an immediate trip to the tailors for a nice new straight-jacket, so I shouldn’t really be surprised at his behaviour. I was doing about 65 and had just reached the beginning of a ¼ mile straight stretch of dual-carriageway, which is often closed for drag racing. This twit was about a third of the way along doing about 50. There was no other car in sight, in front of, or behind us.
I closed to about 4 car lengths behind him and was about to put on my indicator, move out and overtake, when he changed lane. Nobody else on the road but us, no possibility of overtaking anyone for miles, no hazard on the road, in short : NO REASON WHATSOEVER TO MOVE INTO THE FAST LANE. Two wrongs make a right so I passed him on the inside, giving him a questioning look while he looked at me like I’m a nutter.
The simple insanity of this infuriates me – and it’s becoming ever more common. Take a trip to Dublin, or indeed just spot a car with ‘D’ on the license plate and I’ll guarantee the ****’s in the fast land and won’t move over. Possibly because he’s in the right lane for the roundabout two miles ahead, or more likely because he’s a lazy ignorant ****.
Which brings me nicely to :

Second place : Another twit (this time in a Megane) in the outside lane. Joining the dual-carriageway I spotted this mind-boggling scene in the rear-view mirror, that to be honest, I’m glad I was well clear of. Twit-A was turning left off the dual-carriageway flashing his lights like a madman at Twit-B, our friend in the Megane who proceed to stop in the outside lane.
Obviously Twit-B has no idea where he is going and is following Twit-A, which brings up three questions : 1) Why the **** is he ahead of the guy he’s supposed to be following? 2) What’s he doing in the outside lane? 3) Why the **** is he ahead of the guy he’s supposed to following?
When I went out of view, Twit-B was still in the outside land with his left indicator on, trying to turn around on the dual-carriageway, while Twit-A blocked the slip-road off the dual-carriageway. Twit-B had two cars stopped behind him while another was stopped in the inside lane, another behind Twit-A, and god knows what coming down the dual-carriageway.
Quick quiz : who was wrong in this situation? (For the answer look for the * symbol.)

This was a tough choice but I weighed the sheer insanity of this over the life-threatening danger of second place.
First place : Some mad coffin-dodger in a Yaris (incidentally : why does Top Gear think saying Yaris with a ‘strong Irish accent’ is funny?). She was trying to turn right onto the Kinsale Road roundabout. For sheer lunacy it rivals : “Shall we have a picnic in Hiroshima today, dear?” It’s so mad you’d wonder if you accidentally sprinkled hallucinogenic drugs onto your breakfast instead of sugar. It’s not quite as mad as buying a Westlife CD or appointing Mick McCarthy as manager of your football team, but it’s still very mad.
The Kinsale Road roundabout is a busy, confusing place at the best of times and I know people who go miles out of their way to avoid it. There’s frequent fender-bender’s and the only reason there isn’t worse accidents is because it is so busy. I see near misses everyday because people just can’t grasp the correct way to go around a roundabout but this takes the biscuit.


What really angers me about all of the above is that they’re all so simple. A little bit of common sense (which never seems to be very common) would have avoided them all. And these are just the tip of the iceberg. I didn’t mention the gob****e wearing sunglasses while driving………..at night. The asshole in the Land Cruiser going the wrong way around a small roundabout so fast he nearly toppled over. The muppet in the puke-green Polo with smoked glass brake-lights that you can’t see. There’s a million others.
The difference between a terrible driver and a competent one is just a small bit of thought and consideration. The difference between a competent driver and an excellent driver is just a small bit more.
For example : I was approaching a right turn I wanted to make and spotted a Punto parked directly opposite it. There was traffic approaching and a taxi behind me so I stopped a bit short of the junction allowing the taxi to go inside me without delaying anybody. On another occasion the same Punto was parked opposite the same junction (****ing residents can’t park safely and walk ten ****ing steps), but closer to me this time. I went a little farther on than they tell you to do in the driving test. This made my turn awkward but allowed traffic to go past me while I waited.




*EVERYBODY

Borzoi

Nice rant

Thogh I do take exception to the Dublin slag, if I'm in the overtaking (fast) lane, ther's a reason:cool:

But you are right, there is an enormous level of careless out there, coupled with a hefty dose of ignorance.

Ba$tard

Dont get me going...seriously....dont..I'll be here all day and I'll just start throwing monitors around the office

I think....

People should be re-tested EVERY 5 years....
Look at all those bozo mofo's out there who have never had to sit a test or take lessons in the 60-70's who automatically recieved licences....

I travel the South Link, tunnel-to-bishopstown court every morning and evening and its bizarre how many retarted, ignorant fools are farting around our roads....in all honesty...they are both a danger to themselves and to us...

I see people NOT LETTING merging traffic out at the dashed line....you have an obligation by law to leave traffic out at this stage...either pull over to the OVERTAKING lane and back in or accelerate/brake to allow them sufficent distant to get onto the road....

Can someone please copy the Ireland population of over 35 men and over 17 women drivers...

Thank you soo much...

I have had 4 crashes in my life....all 4 caused by women and totally their fault....I am attractive in a wrong sense of the word

dogs

I've had lots of encounters with idiots, only ever been hit by one and that was a free-wheeling backwards BMW who didnt notice me, my bike, my bikes headlights, my bikes horn or my bikes loud exhaust pipe...

Most fantastically stupid thing I've ever seen was some old woman (paying about 20c insurance) driving her Micra THE WRONG WAY around a rounabout in Carlow (the last one as you leave heading Dublinwards).

mayhem#

Speed doesn't kill, ****wits in cars do.....

Kazujo

I think since they started showing the adds bout correct lane position on the motorways on tv the amount of people driving in the overtaking lane has increased.


I dont think cars really like it when you come up behind them in the over taking lane and flash and beep them till they move into the appropriate lane.

Blitzkrieger

Originally posted by Borzoi
Nice rant

Thogh I do take exception to the Dublin slag,

I realise that probably not all Dublin people do it, but during my infrequent trips to Dublin it's been a rule that nobody will move over. I increasing find that no1 will move over - anywhere, anytime.

I drive quite a slow car so constantly find myself being courteous to absolute ****s. I used to drive a similar route to Ba$tard every day, and I remember one occaision where I overtook a guy in a red escort doing about 55 before reaching the tunnel roundabout. After the roundabout I moved over into the slow lane to allow people with greater acceleration to go by, and when I got up to speed I found myself behind the red escort again. Do you think the **** would move over for me? **** no! I went out of my way to let him by without holding him up, and I end up stuck behind him for miles. A few days later I passed him again, but this time didn't let him by while I built up speed - the **** was flashing his lights and blowing his horn like a madman. ****ing hypocritical asshole.

Borzoi

but during my infrequent trips to Dublin it's been a rule that nobody will move over. I increasing find that no1 will move over - anywhere, anytime.

Ah, not like I took it personal.

But you are right. What I tend to find is that's those people who do overtake, are a lot more aware of what's going on around them, they are the most likely to pull over too.

The worst people tend to be elderly locals who are just going down the road a mile or two at 40mph in their batterer old Granada.

Actually worse again are Northern Ireland drivers. I think because of the good roads up there that they're not used to pulling over - so they never do.

The other thing I've noticed is how few people actually thank someone for letting them by - one in four maybe - costs nothing and someone's doing you a favour.

Well more like my .04

dogs

I drive a bike and usually when I come up behind people on the motorway in the outside lane they pull in and let me pass.

If they don't and there's no reason for them to be in the overtaking lane (they're no actually overtaking) I'll flash my lights until they do. I'm not going to drive down a big wide motorway at 50mph and I'm not going to overtake on the inside either.

As for thanking the other driver, anywhere else I do, but on the motorway you shouldn't be in the overtaking lane unless you're overtaking, so I dont bother.

Gah.

OLDYELLAR

and the winner is the idiot in the micra that passed me on a bend and nearly drove me in a ditch this morning ...............................................there is something seriously wrong with the world , the guy who passed me was at least 50 and driving like a maniac , and i`m more than likely paying higher insurance than him because i am younger and therefore supposidely more of a risk .......................can i just say that i am well annoyed by the descrimination and amount of bad driving on irish roads !

Slaanesh

I don't pay insurance on my GN125 so I could get fined and arrested but I can't afford insurance and I need to live.

I was going towards blanchardstown roundabout the other week in rush hour so I was driving between all the cars. I always take great care and watch for people switching lanes. Just before the roundabout I saw this guy swerve a tiny bit so I though "I'll just sit in behind him going around the roundabout" When I tucked in behing him, I could see he was trying to read little bits of paper and I saw the traffic light turn red up ahead and I ****ing knew this dickhead was going to crash into the guy in front. Sure enough, the traffic slowed down and he didn't and ran right up another guy's ass. It was only a slight shunt but for **** sake, pay attention you twat. I promptly pulled up beside his rolled down passenger window and shouted "You complete ****ing idiot" and drove off.

I hope he got the message.

Slaan.

OLDYELLAR

well can i just say GO ON Slaanesh i`m delighted you shouted at him , he might for jesus sake look what he`s doing the next time and another thing if i was`nt living with me parents i`d try the not paying the insurance thing too ,,,,,,,,,,,,i`m sick a getting screwed over for being 18 and then watching idiot drivers looking out of their ar*e driving around the place like maniacs , jesus i had a bad day in that town today . the guards out hiding in ditches on the backroads and the lads driving around the town like maniacs being a danger to me , pedestrians and theorselves . whats the story like ?

Stephen

I know how insane insurance is in this country, and as a young driver who IS paying his insurance, it angers me to see pr1cks like you driving without it.

gg pld.