Rules for Work

Trojan

Rules for Work
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait
until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of
a deadline is refreshing.
2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt
me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That
helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at
every keystroke.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're
going. It gives me a chance to be creative when
someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or
supplies, don't open the
door for me. I need to learn how to function as a
paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good
training in case I should ever be injured and
lose all use of my limbs.
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't
tell me which has the priority. I am psychic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office
and really have nowhere to go or anything else to
do. I have no life beyond work.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If
that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like
my name to be popular in conversations. I was born
to be whipped.
9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't
write them down. In fact, save them until the job is
almost done. No use confusing me with useful
information.
10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I
have no right to know anything. In the corporate
food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them
later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for
you could really change your life and send you
straight to manager's hell.
12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else
has any and it's nice to know someone is less
fortunate. I especially like the story about having to
pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received
for being such a good manager.
13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me
what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre
performance rating with no merit increase. I'm not
here for the money anyway.

silverski

That completly describes my day and my work....

Thanks

kayos

I thought Trojan you had a couple of telnets and Dev studio's open not loads of IE's
kayos

davoc

found a copy of the actual bill that was passed
http://www.irlgov.ie/oireachtas/frame.htm

Blitzkrieger

Someone in OUR goverment knows how to use a computer! :eek!: Even set up a website! :eek!:

They must have used our money to pay an expert (i.e. a five year old) to do it.

Shiminay

heeheehee

Nice one Al