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Rules for Work

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  • 06-04-2000 10:07am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 16,413 ✭✭✭✭




    Rules for Work
    1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait
    until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of
    a deadline is refreshing.
    2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt
    me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That
    helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at
    every keystroke.
    3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're
    going. It gives me a chance to be creative when
    someone asks where you are.
    4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or
    supplies, don't open the
    door for me. I need to learn how to function as a
    paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good
    training in case I should ever be injured and
    lose all use of my limbs.
    5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't
    tell me which has the priority. I am psychic.
    6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office
    and really have nowhere to go or anything else to
    do. I have no life beyond work.
    7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If
    that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
    8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like
    my name to be popular in conversations. I was born
    to be whipped.
    9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't
    write them down. In fact, save them until the job is
    almost done. No use confusing me with useful
    information.
    10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I
    have no right to know anything. In the corporate
    food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them
    later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
    11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for
    you could really change your life and send you
    straight to manager's hell.
    12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else
    has any and it's nice to know someone is less
    fortunate. I especially like the story about having to
    pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received
    for being such a good manager.
    13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me
    what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre
    performance rating with no merit increase. I'm not
    here for the money anyway.




Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 524 ✭✭✭silverski


    That completly describes my day and my work....

    Thanks




  • Registered Users Posts: 2,494 ✭✭✭kayos


    I thought Trojan you had a couple of telnets and Dev studio's open not loads of IE's smile.gif
    kayos


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 119 ✭✭davoc


    found a copy of the actual bill that was passed
    http://www.irlgov.ie/oireachtas/frame.htm




  • Registered Users Posts: 6,660 ✭✭✭Blitzkrieger


    Someone in OUR goverment knows how to use a computer! :eek!: Even set up a website! :eek!:

    They must have used our money to pay an expert (i.e. a five year old) to do it.


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 28,633 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shiminay


    heeheehee

    Nice one Al smile.gif



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