Upper Ear Peircing

memphis

Just over a year ago I got a dragon tattooed on my upper arm. I am very pleased with it and as of yet have no regrets in having gotten it done.

The thing is I am know thinking of getting my upper ear peirced (thats the hard part of the ear, the thick cartridge part) but am afraid of my parents reaction, going by how they felt about seeing my tattoo 2 months after i got it done.

I am 21 years old, and feel that i still cant make decisions for myself. Ye may all say I am being very childish, and to be quite honest i feel that i am, but ye have no idea how much my folks can brag on about these things. They are kinda old fashioned and strict in there ways, and I know for a fact that they'll only make me remove the peircing after they see it.

Should I just go behind their backs and get it done (I have wanted to do it for months) or should i just be a nice little son, and obey my parents wishes. they have always said that they never want to see me with a peircing,... or tattoo for that matter. The thing thats stopping is the amount of bull i'd to take from them over the tattoo.

help please,... in any form, is appreciated!!!

n.catenthusiast

I know it's a hell of a lot easier said than done, but you can't let your parents control you. If they are trying to produce a new version of themselves through you, then,( I feel anyway), they are missing the point of parenting, which is to produce an individual.

an ear percing seems a lot tamer than a tatoo-it doesn't have to be permenant for a start.

I got my ear ridge pierced aroung two weeks ago, and I've no regrets so far

cartman

look ur parents are like mine it looks like theyll go off the wall if they see a tattoo or a piercing..i was afraid to gewt one for bout a year until my older brother came back wit his ear done.they didnt say much like take that out now and all u gotta say is no u no messin wit him.then i got it done and since then iv had my lip done 2 ears done 15times got my nipple done and my eyebrow done 4times (2on each eyebrow:))my brother has 7tattoos and loadsa piercings.parents went mad for about a week and u occasionally they wud bring it up take that rotten thing out of ur ear or mouth.notin big .eventually i took all my piercings out for 150quid which my mother gave me good deal seen as i got all my piercings for free new the person who piercd in town.well wat im trying to say is dat they wont take it hard theyll be like "take dat out" just messin and a bit pissed not much. itll be blown over after 4days apart from the occasionall "take dat ugly dirty thing out of ur ear"..dats all.
A bit of advice done get it done by the gun get it done by the needle 3times dearer but a 100times moer safer!..
good luck

kirn

i'm not sure of what you want us to say memphis, are you looking for us to tell you to do it?

i was in a very similar situation to you, and i got the top of my ear pierced when i was 20. my mother got very upset, but thats what mothers do. i got another one in it last year.

now she likes them....

you obviously aren't that afriad of getting body art, so why not piercings?

i'd say get it done, it'll show your independence and it'll make you feel good.

an its not that sore either...

good luck.

LegacyUser

My dad went nuts when I got my first tattoo done,threatened to throw me out, asked me to leave,offered to pay for laser treatment and the likes.But the way I put it was that I was being individual and liked the tats.After that he seemed fine about it,even going so far as asking to see any others I got done.When I got the nipples pierced he just thought I was a weirdo.All I can say is that at sometime you have to grow up and do your own thing,and dont let your parents try to mould you into something that they wanted( or want you)to become.

Beruthiel

talk about over re-acting, have you asked them what they would do if you actually did something really bad??
you are an adult, you do what you want, I know for a fact no matter what age you are your parents will always treat you like you are 5 - that is until you stand up to them and remind them of your age.
Have you left home yet? I just ask, because normally parents don't see you as a responsible adult till you're out on your own.
Humour, once again helped me out, if me da complained about how many ear rings I had, I'd tell him I'm going back next week to get the eyebrows/nose and lips done!!

yellum

Heh, after showing my folks my piercings I told them I was getting a tattoo next. When they realised I was serious they wanted to know what it was gonna be and where. They then offered to pay for it as a birthday present if I promised not to get anymore.

I kept on saying I wanted to get one on the back of my neck where it could be seen even over a shirt collar. Pick something drastic and say you're gonna get it and they'll possibly (like mine) will negotiate for something not so in your face.

Ah.. manipulating your parents, it should be a subject in the leaving cert.

Tell them your gonna get a ring though your septum (nose) and be determined, they might go for the lighter option then.

memphis

Thanks for all your advise/suggestions people.
I wasn't exactly looking for direct permission from ye all
to go ahead and do it, I was however simply looking for yer
opinions as to wether or not i should.

Just to answer a few questions asked,
Yes, I am no longer living at home, am working and living
in Limerick for the summer, but return home at weekends.


As, for manipulating my parents, if it had been on my leaving cert course it'd have come in most useful, but i'm not too sure i can use that technic on them

As, for the humour bit i like it,... tell em i'm gonna get my tongue done, and then maybe they'll just go with the ear thingy.

Finally, I have suggested to them that i wanted to get my eyebrow done, some time ago, but they started to go on about handing over the key of the house, having no financial support from them, and all that.

And lastly, another question.... is it a cool thing for a guy to get done, thats getting the upper ear peirced i mean???

neuro-praxis

My life was rather similar when I lived at home: "While we support you, you will do as we say."

I moved out over a year ago now and I struggle financially a lot because I'm in college and can't work as much as I'd like to (I'm 19) but it's worth it on so many levels.

I've gotten piercings and so on since I've moved out and there is very little my folks can do about it because I am independant of them. They aren't thrilled about them but they have no say.

On the plus side, they respect me as an individual and an adult and we have even bcome friends...before I moved out there were a huge amount of problems between us; mostly due to their need to "control" me. I mean, I never did anything bad in the first place, what were they so worried about?

So my advice is: get financially independant of them. You can do it if you decide to. Then your life is utterly your own.

Cake Fiend

You say your parents are going to "make you" take the piercing out? How exactly are they going to manage that? You need to make your parents realize that you've grown up and are capable of making your own decisions - you aren't their little boy anymore. I learnt this at the age of 15, and my life has been a hell of a lot easier ever since. I never even told my parents I got a tattoo - when my mother saw it, I told her not to bother giving me any grief over it. She knew at that stage that I wouldn't listen to it.

I understand you mightn't want to go against your parents' wishes out of respect, but if an ear piercing is something you feel you really want, you shouldn't let them hold you back from getting it done. As neuro-praxis advised, you should try to get yourself into the position where you are more or less financially independent - that way they have no leeway with the 'we'll cut your funds' type of blackmail (this is more of a long-term solution than just dealing with an ear-piercing or tattoo).

eth0_

Jeez I can't understand why they'd flip about a little ring in your ear, I thought my parents would flip when I came home one day with an industrial (a bar going through two piercing at the top of my ear) but they freaked more at my navel piercing TBH!

I also thought I'd hidden my tattoo (quite big, on my lower back) from them for over 6 months till my dad mentioned it, just off the cuff, and didn't go mad at me or anything.

Then again, my dad has underhand tactics of just looking at me like he's really disappointed and sad that i'd do that to myself, as he did with my lip piercing

As someone else said, a piercing is easily removed (just look after the cartilidge ones as they can scar easily), it's not a permanent blot on your life!

RopeDrink

Listen.
I have three ear piercings (One in the top of the left ear and two in the bottom of the same ear) and I had all those done almost four years ago, and Im only nineteen...

My dad had something to say, but he never threatened to rip my ear off, mainly because he knew it would be a stupid thing to do...

If you want it that much, then go for it - It's not like you're piercing your parents ears for them. Your life, your decision, your ears...

Khynareth

Talking about over reacting? My mother stopped talking to me when she saw my first tattoo, then she got over it, after a while, 'cos she doesn't see me that much. Then I started with piercings, and she refused to look at me... She still thinks it's horrible and that a well bred woman should not 'desacrate herself that way' (dixit).

Hell, who cares, I like it. I'm planning a back piece (still being designed), and as much as I'm not allowed walking barefeet in their house (tattooes on the feet), I probably won't be allowed showing my back...
Not that I do, anyway.
Do what you like, they will, or will not give you grief over it and then forget about it, just because they get used to it. And it's your body, so you can 'abuse' it as much as you want, can't you

seamus

You could do the whole 'put it into perspective thing', like that joke where the girl writes a letter home from college detailing how she's gotten pregnant, addicted to coke, crashed her car and killed her boyfriend, and been sued, etc etc, but then says, 'well none of that is true, but I am flunking Maths'.

It'a a little hole in your ear ffs. It's not like you'll be doing anything even remotely shocking or strange. Plus it's completely reversible. They'll tell you to take it out? What are you? 12? I'm not trying to offend you here, but if it was me, the conversation would go:

Parent: "Take that horrible thing out of ear now, I mean it."
Me (laughing): "Fúck off"

End of conversation. My Dad hates eyebrow piercings, they make him feel physically ill, told me he'd kill me if I got it done. Got it done, came home, showed it off, he just rolled his eyes and said 'I hope that really, really hurt', and that was the end of it.

At 21, you make your own decisions - if your parents don't like you doing something, tough. Unless they can come up with a logical reason for you not doing something (eg don't come in too late because the baby's asleep), then go and do it. You're a little old to have to rebel, that should all be behind you now.

conZ

if you feel the parents will go mad with an upper ear piercing, dont bother ur arse getting it so....
get this:



...more to the point,
those sort of piercings can be taken out fairly easily and leave no scar, so there are no after affects of gettins a small 'un.
ya, also, go for the needle treatment... looks much scarier but it is v.v.v handy. its way cleaner and the like.

sceptre

Originally posted by conZ

ya, also, go for the needle treatment... looks much scarier but it is v.v.v handy. its way cleaner and the like.

And if it's in the cartilage at the top of your ear, getting it done via a gun may result in caulifouring or whatever they call it (basically the cartilage getting split, not nice and your ears will grow a little)

No experience at all, but if anyone ever goes near my body or anyone else I know it'll be with a nice neat needle rather than a nasty gun.

Shiminay

I wouldn't worry too much - unless your parents are total muppets, you'll be sound.

I have a tattoo on my upper left arm (got it done when I was 22) and I didn't tell my mother about it because I knew she'd get upset. One of my mates (actually, it was boards.ie's own Trojan) accidently told her I had it and I knew she'd not be happy. But, she got the initial "Why did you get that dirty aul thing?" out of her system and she realises that I love it and I plan to get more. Actually, it was funny, one of her mates was talking about the tat her son had done and Mam said "Oh, Davitt got one a while ago - show here there" and her mate thought it was the business (it's a Gibson SG Guitar about 4" long and 2" wide). The 2 of them spent nearly 5 minutes looking at it and admiring the detail (correct number of frets, 6 strings all the way down - it's really cool) and my Mum now thinks it's Ok

Then I got my eyebrow pierced and she wasn't too impressed, but not as bad. I told her I'm planning on 2 lower lip piercings and dying my hair blue and she's not been too shocked.

The moral of the story? Just do whatever if you're an adult (I'm 24). They'll get used to it and realise it's a part of who you are and it'll stop being a problem.

It's all part of growing up!

TinCool

My parents have a very conservative view point. I told them I was getting my ear pirced when I was 20 (5 years ago), and surprisingly enough my mother said, "sure why not, you can always take it out when the time comes". So I got it done, she even went out and bought me a nice silver ear ring at the time. I eventually took it out when I started going for job interviews and never bothered to put it back in. I may get it done again for the laugh.

At the end of the day your parents might surprise you. It's only an ear ring, it's not like you're getting married, it's no biggie.

Venom

So my advice is: get financially independant of them.

neuro-praxis - wise words in generial but I think its over-reacting a great deal over something as trivial as getting your ear pierced.

What's next ? Moving to another country as you can't have another slice of apple pie after your dinner?

memphis - Dude,your like 21 and its your call at the end of the day.It will be you who will have to face any music from your perants so weight up the 2 options and pick the one you can live with.But if they havent kicked you out over a tatoo I reckon you are safe getting your ear peirced.


Legal Notice

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[Me reckoning you are safe is not a garauntee and no acceptability is held on you winding up as a hobo and living on the streets due to following any advice issued by me on this website or in any other form.]

LegacyUser

I have to disagree; it's apparent that you have never been under the hand of very controlling folks.

In my position, my parents COULD make do whatever they decided simply because they threatened to cut me off financially, threatened to stop doing my washing, threatened to stop giving me lifts (we lived in the middle of nowhere and there was nowhere to get a job and no public transport for 4 miles). And they meant it (my bf lived in Dublin and a couple of times they stopped me going to stay with him [they wooldn't take me to the train station...], which was dreadful).

Getting financially independant means that your parents have nothing left to threaten you with, materially. If they threaten to merely be angry with you/stop talking to you or whatever, then I can understand why you would get it done and say "Fuc|< them"...we all know they'll get over it - but when the threat is a physical necessity, you must concede to what they want...or else get independant.

I chose the latter, and for peace of mind's sake, I would say to anyone that is being controlled by their folks with the threat of the taking away of support and/or priveleges that you should pay for your own life and be yourself.

I dyed my hair pink and got another piercing this week. I sent my mam a polaroid and she laughed her head off. If I was living with her, I can guarantee you she wouldn't have been laughing...and neither would I.

neuro-praxis

Wow, that was a retarded post - and I can't get in to edit it because I didn't even register for it.


Bah.

Gordon

:confused:

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the advice people.

I reckon I might pop to the tattoo and body peircing parlour over the next few weeks and go ahead and get it done.

I reckon at the end of the day if my parents can get over the whole fact of me having a tattoo then they'll eventually get used to a piece of metal going through my ear. As one of ye said I can always remove it should I need to attend interviews and the like.

I now work in a call centre so its not exactly a problem with having an ear ring or tattoo. The most of the staff have peircings and tattoos anyhow.