What to do, or is it to late? (kind of long)

LegacyUser

Ello
I got together with a girl back at the beginning of May at a house party, we didn't get the chance for another date tilll the middle of May due to exams and various other stuff.

Anyway, things seemed to be going well and we had a few dates so I suggested we stay in a night and watch a video cause it would make a change from going to the pub/nightclub

So she rented the videos, American Pie 2 and Valentine, now straight off I knew that ment something, after all I'd have to be blind, deff and dumb if I didn't catch that one.

So the night progressed and we watched American Pie 2 then we watched Valentine, and finally I made a move, but I guess it was just to late.
The mood changed and I knew she was annoyed/pissed off or whatever. Up on-till this point (that night) things did seem fine.


The next night we were chattin on MSN and she says that I'm not the boyfriend she'd imagien she'd be with etc
Later she txt'd me saying that can we JUST B friends.
(ffs, dumped by msn/txt msg, I'm NEVER going to do that to anyone)


NOW, I'll admit I am a shy person, and I was nervous as hell thet night we watched the videos and the choice of videos really didn't help things at all.
I've found out from a friend, that yes the choice of videos were intentional as she did expect me to do alot more then just kiss her.

And HELL, I wanted to, after all I'm human!
But was nervous as hell.

Now the problem is I don't care anymore, all that nervous stuff is gone out of the window because now I realise what I've lost and SO BLOODY pissed with myself over what I didn't do. Given the chance I'll do anything to prove that to her.
I've always been a nervous person so to be honest this is MASSIVE step for me!

I phoned her at the weekend and asked if she'd meet up with me this week so we could talk, because the chat on msn/txt was so impersonal.

She seemed ok about it, and she agreed to meet up with me so we could talk.

I know what I'm going to say, because I know what the problems are (besides me being nervous) and with a tiny bit of work things can be fixed.

The onyl thing is I fear its to late, I fear that I've lost her because I was so nervous that night and she finally got sick of it.

The sad thing is I was only starting to stop being nerous alround her now this happens and now I just don't care about being nervous anymore.

This is not going to be a fun week for me.......

LegacyUser

Also I know I actually did not say it in that post above.
But I do like her, I like her alot I guess I just used the shyness/nervous thing as a defense because I was scared to admit it

Either way I'm seriously pissed with myself because of what I did.

bombidol

Man, you need to slow down, just because a girl rents a lovey dovey movie it doesnt mean she wants some lovin! They just like watching crap films (Joke, Dont hit me girls) You put the moves on, you probably shouldnt have, Just sit back and relax, she'll come to you if shes interested. Most women are mad like that, they wont make make up their minds about a bloke for ages, unlike most men who just say **** it and give it a shot, women will gladly contemplate it for years.
And she didnt dump you, you were not even going out properly, you hung out together twice, best bet is to take it slow and go back into friend mode and see what happens


bomb

Beruthiel

bomb is right (in his own subtle way), where's the fire?? speaking for myself, I prefer to wait 'till I know someone for a while, I find it hard to believe she would be in such a rush. Chill out and take it as it comes, if it was ment to be, it will happen.
If she is open to talking to you, there is nothing wrong with telling her you are nervous, be honest.

Wook

It's funny that you always get into trouble by hitting on somebody you do like and find interresting then with a possible one night stand...

LegacyUser

I was talking about making love to her, I was just talking about a little more then just kissing.

I know what she was expecting, I know that 100%
I was told that by her/my friend, she told her and her/my friend told me


So I'm pretty sure what she was expecting, I asume she expected me to do abit more then just kissing.
After all I'm the one that suggested the night in watching videos.

Basically she's really annoyed by the way I keep using "shy" or "nervous" as an excuse for not doing "stuff"

LegacyUser

Originally posted by Unregistered
I was talking about making love to her.

That SHOULD read
I was NOT talking about making love to her, I was just talking about a little more then just kissing.

Really should re-read stuiff before I post it

Gordon

Originally posted by Unregistered
I know what she was expecting, I know that 100%
I was told that by her/my friend, she told her and her/my friend told me

That doesn't mean that you know 100%, you only know 100% if she told you. I have been in that situation and what her friend told me was actually not 100% true. Her friend was a trouble maker and liked messing with people's heads (I found out afterwards).

Don't worry about it (what day are you meeting her again?). As everyone is saying, relax, take it easy. There's nothing more off-putting than a guy acting like a dog in heat. (hmm OK, bad analogy ). Enjoy your new found relaxation with the contemplation.

If it didn't happen then it wasn't meant to. If it is meant to happen then it will.

So what have you got planned for your next meeting?? Meal? Video? Walk in the park? Let us know.

LegacyUser

We're meeting in the park to talk about things on wednesday, was my suggestion

Technically we're not a item anymore,.
I'm not acting like a dog in heat, and if I sound like I am, well I'm not.

I think basically alot of the problem, comes down to communication, more to the point
Lack of!

Again the whole shy/nervous thing comes in there again, but as I said.
I don't care anymore and not letting it get in the way and ruin things in my life anymore.

I know what I'm going to say to her, and well we should have talked about this stuff wayyy before now

smiles

Look, relax, if she's pissed off at you for being shy, well thats just plain silly.

If she wants to take things further than kissing then she should have made some obvious moves and not just blown up about it when you were nervous.

Sounds like she's making excuses to me.

<< Fio >>

LegacyUser

Yeah but excuses for what?
I want to find out what the problem/real problem is

Kali

you obviously haven't stopped to consider that she might have been just as shy or nervous as you that night.. but was expecting you to make a move, and then started bitching when that turned out not to be the case.

relax the hormones. its not the end of the world. relax. breathe in. relax. enjoy yourselves. relax.

LegacyUser

Ha. I know exactly what you're talking about. Just make sure, if you like her, that you don't get into the 'friend zone'. I just don't understand how that whole thing works at all - bane of my life.

Static M.e.

< shudder > yeah i remember all that " lets just be friends "
stuff, painfull.

She probably is just as shy as you , maybe she was a little embarressed as well , hence the msn message , youll know
the problem for sure when you meet her.
If i were you id just try and be more sure of myself, even if your
not ,you take the lead , you take control of the situation from the start etc
People like being with confident people , if she thinks you are totally in control and not hiding behind " shy " and " nervous "
anymore , I think she'll go back with you, she get with you to
begin with for a reason , didnt she?

apart from that i dunno mate , you could also try telling her a distorted truth
" I was afraid to push things futher , even though I realy wanted
too because you just looked so beautifull and i didnt want
to hurt you but i see now i cant keep treating you like a china
doll "

Anyway thats just my precoffee logic ,
best of luck

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Static M.e.
you could also try telling her a distorted truth

A distorted truth? You mean like a lie? LOL

darthmise

Get Drunk and just take her!!

Women love that stuff!!!! :cool:

Offy

LOL, same boat lad. If its ment to be it will be, if its not ment to be it wont be. She needs to make her mind up, take my advice and let her do it in her own time.