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Masturbation

  • 07-05-2002 7:28pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm a 22 year old guy and I just can't stop spanking the monkey. I'm in a satisfying sexual relationship (at least twice a week) but I just can't help cracking one off at least 2-3 times a day. This is a real problem as I'm always knackered and my Willy is in a shocking state.

    How often does everyone else "fly solo"
    any suggestions on how to stop or at least cut down


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Originally posted by Unregistered
    any suggestions on how to stop or at least cut down
    Dump the porno mags. Also Shift-Delete all your porno pics/videos on your PC.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    No way, they're like my children
    Practical suggestions only please!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,500 ✭✭✭Mercury_Tilt


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,967 ✭✭✭adnans


    Why Masturbate?
    It feels good.
    It helps maintain good pelvic blood flow and strong pc muscles.
    It's safe sex.
    You don't have to worry if your partner came.
    You learn what's best for your pleasure by masturbating, which in turn improves your sex life with your partners.
    It's great for stress relief and can help you sleep.

    http://www.toronto.com/profile/672037

    and you will also die a horrible death from it

    adnans


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,682 ✭✭✭chernobyl


    Think about all the dead kittens, will you please!

    There is no way to stop, becuase your sex drive runs in waves and sometimes you just feel like your always in the mood and i doubt this relationship is entirely satisfying if you feel the need to do it 3 times a day.
    Most guys do masturbate during sexually active relationships.

    If you genuinely want to stop, then you will but dont force it as you just become frustrated and annoyed.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,025 ✭✭✭yellum


    Uhm, cutting down involves not doing it as much. There, solution ! Stop, use whatever willpower you have.

    If theres a massive urge and you feel you need to satisfy it then take up smoking or something to take your mind off it. Though ciggys are normally associated with post orgasmic chill, darn.

    Maybe have sex with your partner more ?


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    have you ever seen the movie 'Kingpin'??
    where woody had to pay his rent by having sex with his landlady, find a picture of her and hang it up in your bedroom, this will kill your urges straight in their tracks!!.......... :D


  • Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 3,129 ✭✭✭Samson


    Originally posted by chernobyl
    Think about all the dead kittens, will you please!

    I second the motion.
    You are guilty of kitticide, please stop now.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,345 ✭✭✭Velvet Vocals


    If your dick is in a state then maybe you should be a bit gentle with your self or think about using some lubrication during your self love session..
    But to be honest.. once a day is pretty normal...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,304 ✭✭✭✭koneko


    Have you asked yourself why you do it? How do you feel just before you do it?

    Maybe this is an indication of a deeper emotional problem.
    Or maybe you're just obsessed with sex, or your own dick. Talk to your GP, dude.

    Is there any reason you aren't sleeping with your girlfriend more? 2 times a week is not "satisfying".

    But please.... think of the kittens.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,595 ✭✭✭Gaz


    Of course your love trumpet is in bits ? What do you expect if your shining kojacks moneybox 3 times a day ??? If you must beat the meat that often get some lube before you set yourself on fire !!!

    Or why not have sex more often , 2 times a week is far from satisfying ... try twice a day !

    Now stop playing with your purple headed yogurt slinger and go make sweet sweet love to your girlfriend !!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,802 ✭✭✭thegills


    Twice a week ain't bad for a 22-year old.
    Tommy-tanking 3-times a day must be difficult, morning and night are OK but what about the 3rd.
    Apparantly using a sock will help alleviate your inevitable friction burns


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,634 ✭✭✭Kolodny


    Originally posted by Beruthiel
    have you ever seen the movie 'Kingpin'??
    where woody had to pay his rent by having sex with his landlady, find a picture of her and hang it up in your bedroom, this will kill your urges straight in their tracks!!.......... :D

    Oh no! I just watched that the other day....

    "You really jarred somethin' loose tiger!" :D

    That scene should be enough to put any body off.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,304 ✭✭✭✭koneko


    yeah twice a day sounds better.

    twice a week, ha!

    Get some vitamin-e lotion. Boots sell it. Not only will it make you feel better, your girlfriend will appreciate it too.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,225 ✭✭✭Scruff


    Originally posted by thegills
    Twice a week ain't bad for a 22-year old.

    eh??? i hope you meant: "twice a week ain't bad for a 22-year old who is not living with his girlfriend and you only get the opportunity for it two days at the weekend and on one of those 2 days you get home so drunk one of those nights you collapse drunk on the couch"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,263 ✭✭✭Caesar_Bojangle


    I burst my **** laughing at some of the replies, i hate kittens so kill the lil **** bags.
    Its ok as long as you dont brag about it to all your friends :D
    But 3 times a days , thats 1095 times a year, ****ing hell man your dick must be the size of a fun size mars bar by now.

    I reckon you have too much free time on your hands, take up a hobby i recommend volunteering at your local old folks home cos you will be less likely to take that midday :rolleyes: Whack :rolleyes: with all those old ppl around, you will either kill half of them in disgust, or be thrown out and perhaps beaten up.
    Worse still be arrested for touching your fun size mars bar in public and have to deal with the shame of everyone knowing, especially your mother.

    I have a friend with a similar state of difficulty that needs to be resolved. The sick thing is he actually told me one day, when he had man juice on the end of his shirt, he said he had an uncontrollable urge to do so, this was at 5.30 in the afternoon and i suspect he had a few whacks at the mars bar earlier in the day. He now brags about it to me. Needlessto say i am the only one who knows.
    So its no laughing matter :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,975 ✭✭✭Oeneus


    My brother has a bit of a problem like this.
    It's not so much that he does it often thats the problem. It's that he makes it bloody obvious that he does it.

    I mean, there is a mountain of solid rock bogroll under his bed and on his bedside table. I think it's about 10 rolls worth. And they're all yellow! EEEeeeewww!!

    And he watches TV at 2:00 in the morning and as you walk in he quickly changes the channel before you can see what he's watching, and for some reason the volume is always right down.

    He's 13 for god's sake! And he looks skanky and wears the same clothes for 2 weeks. And I don't think his school uniform has been washed in a whole month! I sure hope he doesn't wear these clothes while he plays his "Whack a mole" game.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    twice a week ain't bad, we both live at home and have to be content with a very quiet ride in the garage whenever my Ma is playing bridge with her old biddie mates.

    Christ its getting worse, I'm on number 4 today already, I just can't stop. My knob is starting to look like Freddy Kreugers index finger (minus the blade) and I can barely focus on the keyboard.

    On the bright side, the extra muscle development in my right arm has done wonders for my table tennis game.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,281 ✭✭✭DeadBankClerk


    i dont see what the problem is...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭neuro-praxis


    LOL


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 410 ✭✭francie brady


    Anyone ever play soggy biscuit with their mates when they where younger. If they did it would stop them "playing with themselves"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,975 ✭✭✭Oeneus


    What's soggy biscuit?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,256 ✭✭✭Molly


    Get a biscuit, get some friends to gather round this biscuit. They all Masturbate and cum on the biscuit. Who ever comes last eats the biscuit.


  • Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 3,129 ✭✭✭Samson


    Originally posted by Molly
    Get a biscuit, get some friends to gather round this biscuit. They all Masturbate and cum on the biscuit. Who ever comes last eats the biscuit.

    Please ensure that this is only for special occasions, otherwise kittens would be soon become extinct.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,975 ✭✭✭Oeneus


    Ah for fooksake that is just skank!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,154 ✭✭✭✭Neil3030


    /me feels this is a piss take but how'n'ever

    2 times a week? I'm not surprised, seeing as you choke the chicken four times a day. I'm surprised you can get an erection at all. It's a habit just like anything else. A quiet ride in a garage won't cure you. The two of you should get a hotel room and let rip. Let it all out.

    Trash the pron. Seriously.

    Think of the kittens...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 410 ✭✭francie brady


    Yeah it's true. I was always last to cum therefore i give up playing. And now i've have perfect eye sight and i'm not responsible for any dead kittens.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,924 ✭✭✭✭BuffyBot


    Soggy biscuit - euuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


    Though I'm sure some folks pay good money for that kinda thing...in amsterdam or somewhere like it :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,141 ✭✭✭fisty


    shut up and please don't post here unless you have something worth hearing to say.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,838 ✭✭✭DapperGent


    I don't think it's as bad as the other kind of w*anking circle:

    "OK, ready? Everybody reach right"

    Back on topic though choking the one eyed snake that often has to be bad for you. It's summer perhaps you should forsake the garage for the green fields.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,184 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    look at me i'm a comedian.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,972 ✭✭✭SheroN


    Enough of this.


This discussion has been closed.
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