Hit and Miss

neuro-praxis · 29-04-2002 7:56pm #1

I laughed for fifteen minutes when I heard this, but the reactions to it always go to one extreme or the other. People either stare at you blankly, or laugh until they cry. Here goes.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a pint. The barman pulls it for him, and slides it across the counter. The barman says, "I hope you don't mind me saying, but I notice you have a Jaffa Cake for a head. How did this come to be?"

The guy with a Jaffa Cake for a head takes a sip of his pint and says, "Well, it's an interesting story; I don't mind telling it."

He proceeds with the following tale.

One day he's up in the attic, clearing out old rubbish, when he comes across a lamp. The lamp is very dirty so he takes a cloth and gives it a rub. Suddenly, a genie pops out of the lamp.

"O Master!" he cries, "You've freed me from hundreds of years of imprisonment inside that lamp! Please, allow me to grant you three wishes to show my gratitude!"

The guy is pretty chuffed about this opportunity, and thinks for a moment. Finally he says, "Well, firstly, I'd like you to fill my kitchen with money. I want to be really really rich."

The genie snaps his fingers and the guy runs downstairs to the kitchen where he finds wads and wads of 100 pound notes. The room is just about overflowing, and he can't believe his luck.

For a few months he enjoys his new wealth, but after a while he begins to feel empty inside, so he goes back up the stairs to talk to the genie in the attic.

"Genie," he says, "I'm ready for my second wish. You see, things haven't been great between me and my wife these last years, so I'd like it if you could make us fall in love all over again, like when we were teenagers. Do you think that's possible?"

"Anything is possible!" shouts the genie, and with a snap of his fingers, the man's wish is granted.

So the guy goes downstairs once more, only to be greeted by his adoring wife who looks more beautiful than ever.

For several months things are great - he's rich, he's madly in love and he's happy. But still, something is not quite right.

So he goes up the stairs a third time to make his last and final wish. When he climbs up into the attic, the genie pops up out of the lamp to greet him. "Master!" he cries, "What can I grant you? Are you ready for your last wish?"

""Yes," replied the man, "I am. You see it's like this; I've always kind of wanted to have a Jaffa Cake for a head."

Samson · 29-04-2002 8:00pm

I'm of the "stare at you blankly" variety.

BioHazRd · 29-04-2002 8:01pm

I laughed - does that mean I am strange

Chowmein · 29-04-2002 9:24pm

Great

Kraken · 30-04-2002 9:47am

hmmmmmmmmmm a bit weird but i laughed well kinda.

Spiffing · 30-04-2002 2:44pm

*stares blankly*

Kolodny · 30-04-2002 4:01pm

I found it very funny. In a blank, stary sort of a way.

Gordon · 30-04-2002 4:19pm

Hehehe. I heard that before and laughed heartilily!

What about this one, similar to that one...

A man walks into a bar and sees a guy across the room with a lemon in his ear. He goes over to find out why .
"Scuse me I'm terribly sorry but I notice you've got a lemon in your ear... why have you got a lemon in your ear??"
The guy says blankly, " Sorry I can't hear you, I have a lemon in my ear."

Spiffing · 30-04-2002 5:48pm

Originally posted by Gordon
Hehehe. I heard that before and laughed heartilily!

What about this one, similar to that one...

A man walks into a bar and sees a guy across the room with a lemon in his ear. He goes over to find out why .
"Scuse me I'm terribly sorry but I notice you've got a lemon in your ear... why have you got a lemon in your ear??"
The guy says blankly, " Sorry I can't hear you, I have a lemon in my ear."

lol