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You've been playing worms too much when..

  • 26-04-2002 11:30pm
    #1
    Tellox
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,680 ✭✭✭


    You believe that a direct hit from a Bazooka shell / Grenade can't kill you outright because "it only does 45 damage max".
    At a funeral, you hide behind something substantial in case the body self destructs.
    You think that you can use your mobile phone to call up an airstrike.
    You treat sheep, cows, moles, old ladies and pigeons very carefully, in case they blow up.
    If the Salvation Army call, you hide behind the sofa and brace yourself for the tambourines.
    You believe that a sheep can fly simply by giving it a cape.
    You think that, because you live on a high hill fifty miles from the sea and you have a medicine chest, you are totally safe from a nuclear bomb.
    At Christmas, you won't open any of the presents in case they explode in a burst of flame.
    Even if you do open them, you expect either a large gun, a banana or a sheep.
    You have actually used the phrase "I've got a banana, and I'm not afraid to use it!"
    You treat a bowl of fruit as if it were an armoury.
    You live in a two-dimensional world.
    You consider commiting suicide by sticking a firework up your bum, shooting off and exploding.
    You consider pigs to be copycats, but at the same time envy their extra dimension.
    You believe you have arms which can meld back into your body at will.
    You fear Scotsmen, because they look as if they have landmines on their heads.
    You believe handgun bullets are no danger at all.
    You believe you can walk away from a fifty foot fall (after a turn's wait, of course...)
    You dare not go swimming, because any water at all will drown you.
    You speak an accent imitating a sound scheme (I was unsure of my accent until I met Yorkshire Tykes - not to mention Brummie).
    You live in mortal fear of the French/Indian National Anthem.
    You expect girders to hang in mid-air without any support.
    When watching Star Wars, you wonder why Darth Vader hasn't dug a large hole in the ground and hid in it until the action's over.
    You look for the Teleport button on your TV remote.
    You buy a worm farm, and wonder where they keep their Bazookas.
    You attempt to skim a Bazooka shell across a lake.
    You actually own a Bazooka, and can fire it with no recoil.
    The RSPB catch you strapping dynamite to a homing pigeon in order to launch it from a cannon.
    You attempt to create a gunboat by eating loads of health food, then setting off mines to strategically launch then at your enemies.
    You have actually used the phrase "Oi Nutter" in everyday conversation.


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