what's wrong with me?

LegacyUser

Hi there.

I've got this problem. A few years ago I made friends with this girl. We got really close and called each other best friends. This was a first for me - having a best friend that was of the opposite sex. But anyway a year after meeting her, I began to fall for her. I never said anything or mentioned it to save embarassment with her. It got to a stage where I thought about her all the time.To cut a long story short, she felt the same and we started going out. It was probably the best six months of my life.

Things started to get strained suddenly and she said that she thought it might be better for us to be just friends. I, naturally, couldn't believe it. I couldn't get over it. Anyway we lost touch for about half a year. In the meantime she started going out with another fella and I also started going out with someone else but the thing is I missed her like hell.

Fast forward to the present. I finally bit the biscuit 2 months ago and contacted her after ignoring calls and text messages from her for 6 months. Things were great between us. She's with her new boyfriend for nearly seven months and I've recently started yet another relationship but I don't know what I'm doing. A few weeks ago the feelings I had for her that I thought I had got over have started to surface in a big way again. The trouble is she's happy the way things are. I'm not. I'm going out with someone and wish it was her.

Just thought somebody might have gone thru a similar situation and would like to share it because I feel pathetic. I still love her after all this time.

Kraken

not your fault just the way things happen. You should not have broken conntact with her and dont agfain cause you will regret it if you do.

It wil take a long time to get over it but you will just be happy for her and be happy in the taught that at least you tried...thats all you can do.

smoke.me.a.kipper

at least your friends with her. tis better than not at all.

Xterminator

Hi,
I can honestly say i know how u feel.

When my relationship broke up, i was devestated. I didnt leave the house for a month, except to go to work. I was waiting for that phone call that never came.

Eventually I got on with my life. After a while I met another girl, who helped to block out the pain. But i must have though about the original relationship for hrs on end. Going over it in my head, thinking what i i did this, or if I did that etc.

When I did see her agian, it brought back all the feelings etc, but i knew it was over from what she said, so there was no chance of getting back together.

But in time the pain fades. Its never gone, but youve got good memories.

Common sense is important. Dont do anything stupid. Get on with your life. I suggest you meet for a clear the air chat. Explain to her you understand how she feels, but that you still have feelings for her, and leave it at that.

If shes meant to come back, she will. If not .. thats it. Get on with your life. You still have your friends and your family.
Let them help. A 'bounce' relationship is usually good too. Helps you get over things. (Be careful you dont do to her whats just happened to you!)

X

LegacyUser

is that not a kinda torture, to see her and being reminded of what could be if only she felt the same..
the very same thing happened to me, great friends, then more than that - didn't work out - so I didn't see him for maybe 8 months, by then I was over it and we are now friends again. Thing is I needed the break and it helped, yours did not... maybe you need a longer one....

The Corinthian

You seriously sound as if you're about to confront her on this.

Don't. Walk away.

Sometimes men and women can be best friends. Perhaps because there was insufficient attraction (there's always some attraction, no matter how little) or because you did have a relationship and it burnt itself out.

Your relationship with this girl does not fit into either category and given it appears not to be reciprocated. Thus you have two options:

1. Bottle it in and hope it goes away before it subconsciously sabotages every relationship you try to have with any other woman, or

2. Walk away – cut all ties, get on your life.

I recommend the second option. Not nice, but practical.

Victor

Originally posted by Unregistered
what's wrong with me?

Nothing. You are human. Humans form emotional bonds.

Many people end up in tangles like this, be it with people they did or didn't have a romantic relationship with.

How do you get over it? I don't know. Time helps. Other experiences help. Some you will look back on fondly, others you ask yourself "what did I ever see in her?".

fi

i can honestly say i ahve been there too..... the only way i could get over it was when he got out of my life as when i met him again the feelings did come back and there was nothing i could do to stop them.

i know being friends maybe is a good option for you, but in time you will work it out, me wonders is it someone on the boards, i dont think i ahve seen an unregestered one before...

chernobyl

This is not your call.
Keep your mouth shut, your body language will convey your feelings to her anyway and if she wants she will compliment them.

Shes happy so its time for you to move on or out.

phoenix2181

ahhh...unrequited love...the worst there is

FatB

I have to agree with fi on this one! I just after coming out of a 7 month relationship (which I ended) and any time I see her the feelings start coming back! However, I have intentions of totally forgeting about her as I'd say that its the only way of moving on! It may sound sad or whatever! :rolleyes: But i DID (that 4 letter word that starts with L, has a V and O and ends with E) her!:rolleyes: Anyways, I should really start my own thread, shouldent I!!!

Hope you can get over her!

[clíche]Theres plenty more fish in the sea![/clíche]

Terry

Bump.

Time Magazine

Terry wrote: »

Bump.

Hiller scum.

Terry

Meh.
The hill doesn't smell.

Time Magazine

Terry wrote: »

Meh.
The hill doesn't smell.

Not since yore ma closed her legs, wha?

Overheal

And you're both mods.... -_- I wish I could slap both of you.

Time Magazine

Overheal wrote: »

And you're both mods.... -_- I wish I could slap both of you.

Mods of different fora. We can still be banned here. And there might be more at play than you can see .