New No Limits Service for Ireland here.

Neil_Sedaka

Right, I'm sick of all this Esat S**te, so I'm now in a position to offer my own flat-rate service.....see details below.

1:Free unlimited off peak access.*
2:No cut-off period.*
3:Download as much Donkey Porn as you like.*
4:Guaranteed 1st. time connection.*
5:No Limits, no hassle, EVER.*

*1: Access to the service costs £85 per day and is only available in the greater Dublin area."Unlimited off peak access" means that you can use the service for a couple of hours each day, the exact amount of hours has yet to be decided and anyway it's at our discression and we can change it whenever we feel like it.


*2: "No cut off period" of course means that we can cut you off whenever we think you are abusing the system or generally having a good time.


*3: "Download as much Donkey Porn as you like" The maximun download quota for any given week is 350kb.


*4: "Guaranteed 1st. time connection" cannot be guaranteed.


*4: "No Limits, no hassle, EVER"
While it is our intention to provide you (the customer [who is always right]) with free unmetered access, we may and probably will do some or all of the following:

Limit you in any way we see fit.

Hassle you in any way we see fit.

Change our mind / our name / our service / our morals / our tunes / our underwear.

By accepting this agreement you understand and agree to the following:


This space has been left blank in order for us to amend or make up new rules that we probably missed first time around.

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OOOHH,I hear laughter in the rain.



[This message has been edited by Neil_Sedaka (edited 30-04-2001).]

Celt

rofl pld neil

Stonemason

Now your being silly change there underwear they wouldnt be able due to technical difficultys ie working out which leg go,s in which hole ect ect.


Stone

Neil_Sedaka

Oh I forgot to mention, this service is not available during any month with an "R" in it and to subscribe your name must be "Helen Winterbottom"

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OOOHH,I hear laughter in the rain.

Ronan|Raven

Priceless!

Bard

Reminds me of the Simpsons...

Where happiness, serenity, and happy serenity are guaranteed!!! (*)
(*: not a guarantee)

(well- something like that)

"No Limits" was only ever just a name. There is no real legal obligation to live up to what that name 'implies' just as there'd be no obligation if your company was called "Biggest Pizzas in the World Ltd.".

Q_Ball

No but there would still be some oul shítes that would complain because they werent getting what they THOUGHT they were getting instead of what they ACTUALLY were getting.

God i hate the public, i hate them so so much

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It's a 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.

HIT IT!

Kali

...pointless repetitive thread alert...