Age!! In Love Does It Matter?

daftbegger

If a thirty year old is dating a twenty year old and they have.

1) Attraction
2) Passion
3) Trust
4) Mutual friends
5) History (all good)
6) Common interests (and careers)
7) love

Should age be a concern?
Will it ever become a barrier?
Should the doubters be ignored?

Just wondering? Ladies opinions will be gratefully accepted.

Dustaz

It will become a concern if the relationship has legs. Its all fine and dandy for a year or so, but the problems may arise after that. Does the 20 year old want to travel while they are still young? thats a biggie.

As you go thru your twenties, you find your priorities changing a fair bit ( i know mine did), that may be a cause for concern. If and when the relationship ends it also may be a problem in the way each party deals with things.

Of course you could go off and live happily ever after:)

daftbegger

Both parties are pretty settled.
Neither really want or feel the need to travel (any more then a mutual holiday).
At the moment they are looking forward to the long haul, and it is pretty stable.

wee_lady

but if u dont try u'll never know.....

i think u should give it a shot and if it doesnt work out at least u can say u tried....rather than a few years down the line wondering "wot if" and resenting the fact u never gave it a chance...u never know this could all work out well...

let us know wot u decide!

stu_69

I have to say that age doesn't matter at all. My girlfriend is 5 and half years older than me. We met while travelling(so thats out of the way) and we were engaged within 2 months, 8 months later and I still feel the same and never want to be apart from her.

We were a little worried that our age difference might matter when we got home. As when you are travelling nothing is taboo and nobody cares who or what you are. We thought that our friends or parents might make an issue but nobody seems to care.

So if there something there go for it. I believe thoug that if one person in the relationship has an issue with the age difference then they may always have a problem. Neither myself or my fiance bat an eyelid if someone mentions the toyboy factor(were bith in our 20's so it sounds kind of stupid anyway) or sugar momma (were also broke).

Hope this makes a difference. :cool: :smoke: :laugh:

smiles

It doesnt matter. It's not that big a gap.

<< Fio >>

Tazz T

Absolutely not. And the older you get the less it matters. I find, erhem!!, that ladies are much more mature than us lads anyway.

flyz

Doesn't make two bits of a difference.
I've known of couples in both cases where the lad is a good few years older than the girl or vice versa.
The only people who normally feel uncomfortable with the age gap are normally the couple themselves, and once you get over that then you're sorted.

Beruthiel

I don't think it matters one jot, my bloke is eight years younger than me and we see no difference, it's all got to do with what's going on in your head, ie. I don't 'act my age' (or how society expects you to act as you reach certain ages) so we are on a par so to speak.
Do what you want - no relationship has guarantees, no matter what age you are, if it feels right, it probably is.

I always used to say my 'soul mate' is probably a 10 year old on some mountain in Tibet, I mean, come on, what are the chances he will be the same age as me and living next door - what are the real chances of ever finding him??? Go for it!!

lara

Doesn't matter a bit - my boyfriend is 7 years older than me and we've been together for 3 years. Still going strong

The only problems that arise are usually to do with children - he's close to 30 so he's starting to get broody, but I'm not ready for that whole thing yet. So I just borrow a three year old for a day (lots of extended family) and that keeps him happy. He understands my position on the whole thing, so that's a plus.

Kairo

It shouldn't matter, as long as those involved are mature.

Although I hear women don't sexually mature until late twenties/early thirties.

*Rooooowwwrrr!!*

Shiminay

It don't matter

So long as all concerned are happy with things, then it's all good...

leeroybrown

No, not really.

Although a situation where a 20/30 year old is wondering how many months their partner has left before old age catches up might not be ideal.

[Bring back the old ]

Doc

In your case Id say no but age for me dose make a difference. I know a 25 year old who is going out with a 16 year old is that right?

I don't think so.

leeroybrown

Legally speaking it is Ok, but I'm not 100% sure other than that. She does seem a bit young.

lara

I know a 25 year old who is going out with a 16 year old is that right?
I don't think so

When I turned 20, my bf was very relived, because dating a 20 year old didn't seem quite as bad as dating a 19 year old.

Legally speaking it is Ok, but I'm not 100% sure other than that

It sounds bad when one of the pair is a teenager - legally, you're old enough at 16 to have sex, but you're not considered an adult until you're 18. I think my parents would have had a MAJOR problem with it when I was 16.

SheroN

Thats just sick...Im 20 and i'd feel kinda guilty if i was going out with a 16 year old.

leeroybrown

Different people, ... different standards!

I think my parents would have had a MAJOR problem with it when I was 16.

That said parents in general have a problem with absoloutely everything when their daughters are 16

koneko

It depends on the individuals (cop out answer.. I know).

All the age-gap couples I've known bar one have split up. Not sure exactly why that is. I think when you're from different generations your interests change, you drift apart. Always worth a shot though. Except for that person that mentioned a 25 year old and a 16 year old. That's just wrong.

20 to 30 isn't much (some of the couples i've known had a 20 year gap). As long as the 20 year old is mature, it'll balance out. You don't want to end up with a ultra mature 30 year old and a go-clubbing-sleeping-around 20 year old. If you feel strongly enough it'll have as much of a change as any relationship.

Cake Fiend

First off, it shouldn't be any of anyone else's business if both parties are mature enough to make their own decisions

As for the 25-16 relationship - could be dodgy, but if the 16-year-old is grown-up enough to know what he/she wants, then it shouldn't be anyone's concern. Having said that, there's a hell of a lot more of a difference between a 16-y.o. and a 25-y.o. than there is between a 20-y.o. and a 30-y.o.

IRISHLILY24

ok, going back to the original post now.....

I think it sounds like everything is perfect. If your telling us only the positive and there is no negatives yet then keep it going! Women need older men because yes we are a bit more mature and need someone to match our intellectual level as well as our passionate needs, ofcourse there is always the exception (the immature girls) who need the guys that are in the same age range. But for the most part I think you sound happy and if someone else has a problem with it, so what! there not the one in the sack with yas so who cares what they think
I have always dated older men, I have only ever met one man who was the same age as I and thought he was perfect but then he is taken , so there ya go
Do what you know, if its comfortable for both of you, it's right.

Goodluck!

fi

The younger you are the more important the age gap issue is, but the older and more mature you get that lessens.

like if you know someone who is say 40 and you are coming up to being 30, and you see they were getting married when you were still in school and they ahd a baby before you got out too, its weird but it doenst matter as the heart has no boundaries of age.

IMHO

Victor

Originally posted by Doc
In your case Id say no but age for me dose make a difference. I know a 25 year old who is going out with a 16 year old is that right?

It is not right if they are sleeping with each other. The age of consent in Ireland is 17. And there is a presumption that a 25 year old has a lot more life / relationship experience that a 16 year old.

20 -v- 30. There is the potential for strain. And while travelling is one factor (be that 2 or 10 years down the line for the 20 yo), making a life-long comittment at 20 is a huge decision. I think wait 2-3 years and mature the 20 yo and the relationship.

30 -v- 40. No particular problem, other than I really resent older parents (40+) who have children. At that point it is difficult for the children to relate to the parents (and grandparents). By the time the children are ready to go to college, the parent is ready to go to a nursing home (I know I exaggerate). The grandmother of a friend (now 29) was born in the 1880s.

Doc

Originally posted by Victor

It is not right if they are sleeping with each other. The age of consent in Ireland is 17. And there is a presumption that a 25 year old has a lot more life / relationship experience that a 16 year old.

These people live in England and I don't know if there having sex (I think they are) all I know is there going out.

P.S. The guy is my girlfriends uncle and she has a sister two days younger then the girl he's dating. That's one of the reasons I think Is a bit sick.

Gambler

I was engaged to a girl that was a lot older than me and though it wasn't the main reason it didn't work out it did become an issue for both of us (for different reasons for each of us too..)

I do have to ask, if you have no problem with the age thing then why the need to ask? For the first year we were together I never even thought of it, but I know when it did start to become an issue the first thing I did was ask that kinda question to my friends..

I think age will never be the main factor for a relationship not working out but it can be a contribution...