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Best way to cheat!

  • 06-03-2002 8:19pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,227 ✭✭✭


    Not that I ever would, but what do you think would be the best way to cheat in the leaving? I came up with some ideas although some of them are a bit far fetched!

    1. Grow you hair long. Have a little receiver in your ear and a James Bond style camera glasses. While your friend transmits the answers from a top secret undercover van across the road!

    2. Modify your calculater to store all definitions and formulae

    3. Write everything on your legs then ask to go to the toilet.

    4. Write everything on an incredibly some piece of paper and fit it in your pen!

    5.Break into another school during the night and take the papers!

    6. Be boring and just have a piece of paper in your pencil case! I'd do that but I don't have one :(


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,396 ✭✭✭PPC


    Or maybe learn the stuff :P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,538 ✭✭✭PiE


    Don't need James Bond-style stuff, just buy a Minidisc walkman, record yourself reciting formulae/quotes/whatever and use the remote control to flick thru them :]


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 357 ✭✭rachel


    cheating in the orals seems too easy... :(

    my school is a day and boarding school so I could get a german student to go in to do the oral for me...


  • Moderators, Music Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,389 Mod ✭✭✭✭Lenny


    Originally posted by stereo_steve

    2. Modify your calculater to store all definitions and formulae


    Thats why you have to state the make name and model of your calcualator
    3. Write everything on your legs then ask to go to the toilet.


    You know right well that by the time you get to the toilet you will be so frightened of getting caught cheating that the piss has run down your leg and washed off the ink!

    4. Write everything on an incredibly some piece of paper and fit it in your pen!


    The most basic form of cheating


    5.Break into another school during the night and take the papers!


    Pitty the papers aren't kept in the schools over night, what you think the Goverment are, idiots?

    6. Be boring and just have a piece of paper in your pencil case! I'd do that but I don't have one :(

    Why take the most caught red handed way of cheating and be banned from all state exams for the rest of your life!


    My idea would be go to the toilet fairly lateish.. and find someone else's crumbled up piece of paper with helpful stuff written on it :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,149 ✭✭✭✭Lemming


    How about actually just studying the stuff?? :p

    Failiong that .. best ways to cheat:

    1.Learn how to remove yourself from the space/time continuum so you can run off to the toilets/wherever and check a book before running back. YOu might want to be fairly fit for all the running you might be doing!

    2.Bribe someone in the examinations centre to make photocopies of all the papers. Security measures dictate that if a paper is discoveed missing, they change the entire lot. SO it'd need to be done fast.

    3.Pray for divine intervention, although this might be asking a bit much


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  • Moderators, Music Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,389 Mod ✭✭✭✭Lenny


    Just to clear another thing up about any papaer being missing,
    they're also in a seal bag, which are in a sealed bag, two people(students) always have to sign this bag whilst it is opened before them..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,149 ✭✭✭✭Lemming


    Originally posted by OJ
    Just to clear another thing up about any papaer being missing,
    they're also in a seal bag, which are in a sealed bag, two people(students) always have to sign this bag whilst it is opened before them..

    Which is also why you'd need to bribe someone VERY high up the chain in the Dept. of Education to get the papers BEFORE they are released to the schools (ie. still being held inside that MASSIVE safe-vault-thingy at Dept. HQ)

    Needless to say ... your chances of finding someone that high up to bribe are precisely dick!

    Which cuts you down to options 1 & 3 as spelt out by me. SO how many of you are feelign lucky enough to get the Big man's favour on the day? Alternatively .. how many of you are feeling intelligent/gifted enough to reach beyond 3 dimensions of existence? Any takers?

    In short ... study your a*s off!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,227 ✭✭✭stereo_steve


    They do actually leave them in the school. Last year I was doing kick boxing in a hall that that was used for leaving cert students. The box that contained the papers was sitting in the corner. I maight add that it was a in bits! Anyone could have broken in. But as you said they are sealed. I'm sure there are ways around it if someone was really determined!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,314 ✭✭✭Nietzschean


    They do actually leave them in the school. Last year I was doing kick boxing in a hall that that was used for leaving cert students. The box that contained the papers was sitting in the corner

    Actually that was not the papers just the exam booklets that the students write into. The papers are kept at the local garda station, and are only brought to the school when needed......so if ye wanna bribe someone it has to be a garda....:cool:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,538 ✭✭✭PiE


    Originally posted by Serialkiller
    so if ye wanna bribe someone it has to be a garda.

    Garda eh? This bribing thing doesn't sound so far-fetched now!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    I'm sure only the local super, or someone similarly high ranked has access to the papers in the Garda station. After all, cheating in the Leaving could be tantamount to stealing, ie getting paid extra money on the basis of being talented. Well 30 years ago anyway.

    Face it. Cheating in the LC is quite difficult. I got 'caught' in the JC, and I wasn't even cheating. There was a crumpled up ball of paper in front of my desk, which was there when I came in. Halfway through exam, supervisor picks it up, uncrumples it. "Is this yours?". "Nope, never seen it before". Spends 5 minutes checking my writing against the writing on the paper. I take a look, my writing is tiny, this writing is huge - á la "I'm a big dumb rugby player who only learned to write last year...". Also the notes were geography notes. This was a French exam. Still he goes off, comes back and records my exam no. I leave the hall fuming, actually ready to come back and clock the guy when he left the exam hall. But then I realised that would be dumb.

    Still nothing happened, but it gave me extra incentive not to cheat in the LC. 2 strikes and you're out. No state exams for you for a while..........


  • Moderators, Music Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,389 Mod ✭✭✭✭Lenny


    Originally posted by Lemming


    Which is also why you'd need to bribe someone VERY high up the chain in the Dept. of Education to get the papers BEFORE they are released to the schools (ie. still being held inside that MASSIVE safe-vault-thingy at Dept. HQ)

    Well considering only 4 people in Ireland know what is comming up in your English exam, 4 people in Ireland only know whats comming up in your Irish exam.. and so on... three of the people would be Irish examners from the Department of Edcu, and the other one would be the printer/publisher :)
    And he writes a contract and takes an oath that he will not tell anyone what is on the paper, if he breaks this, he is imprisened for a very long time.. :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,507 ✭✭✭Asuka


    Yeah, they keep the papers in the school in big old boxes (which look like theyve been used since the beginning of the state) with large padlocks... not that the size of a padlock actually determines how difficult it is to pick it... :)

    A


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,396 ✭✭✭PPC


    The boxes are ment to be fire proof but that could have been 20 years ago :P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,314 ✭✭✭Nietzschean


    i always wondered about that.....like OJ the printing machinery is doubtfully fully automatic from start to finish...so like most of that company must know then whats comming up? then there is the people that have to do the shrink wrap of the plastic bags(probally automatic) but if u look at the papers there has to be serveral stages in which people see the paper....like very few places are fully automatic


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 402 ✭✭Man U babe


    If your supervisor is of the opposite sex to you, ask to go out to the toilets where you have conveniently stashed your notes/revision books behind the pad bins/general bins/cisterns etc.


  • Moderators, Music Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,389 Mod ✭✭✭✭Lenny


    Originally posted by Serialkiller
    i always wondered about that.....like OJ the printing machinery is doubtfully fully automatic from start to finish...so like most of that company must know then whats comming up? then there is the people that have to do the shrink wrap of the plastic bags(probally automatic) but if u look at the papers there has to be serveral stages in which people see the paper....like very few places are fully automatic

    Thats why the Department of education only pick small sole-trader printing companys, they know they'd love the really big business and because a sole-trader is only run by one maybe two people, as for the shrink wrap, most printing companys have their own machine to wrap large prints in plastic.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,114 ✭✭✭Kappar


    Well i was doing foundation Irish in the JC and well we just shouted the answers across the room the lady superviseing us didn't care that much 'cause it was just foundtion but i still got a C so that teachs me for cheating.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 972 ✭✭✭havok*


    Wear a cap, and write cog notes on the underside, u can just look up (as if thinking) and read them.

    Get a pack of chewing gum, write formula's or whatever on the gum with coking die. when ur in the exam, if its looking bad u simply eat the evidance..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,082 ✭✭✭Chris_533976


    Just an FYI - I did the Leaving Cert last year and was told by my English teacher that the papers are printed in Holland.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,148 ✭✭✭✭Raskolnikov


    Hmm that seems like an awful waste of money getting some Dutchies to print out our papers, haven't the govt heard of buying Irish :P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,842 ✭✭✭phaxx


    Originally posted by OJ
    Thats why you have to state the make name and model of your calcualator

    I think he meant change the calculator, so, say, a nice scientific one with a memory goes in the case of your boring one.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41 kitton


    my suggestion mighnt be suitable if your male...but you could keep some paper with formulas n stuff inside an applicator tampon,bring it with you into the bathroom , theyre hardly gonna question it and just read it when your in the bathroom.sorry any boy who's cringing!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,598 ✭✭✭ferdi


    the lazy ashamed bums way - pay someone to set off the fire alarm during the exam, then when you have to repeat and you fail miserably, blame it on the trauma of having to get up and leave your 1st exam. you wont get the points but at least you'll have some sort of excuse for your folks.:p

    feRdi


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 177 ✭✭Fortinbras'


    kitton wrote:
    my suggestion mighnt be suitable if your male...but you could keep some paper with formulas n stuff inside an applicator tampon,bring it with you into the bathroom , theyre hardly gonna question it and just read it when your in the bathroom.sorry any boy who's cringing!


    ok that is scaring me now!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 177 ✭✭Munurty


    I think phones have alot of possibilities. I've never done it in the leaving but i did it a few times in the house exams. I did somethin like the James Bond suggestion. I recorded notes on my phone then brought the earphone through my sleeve and rested my head against my arm. Last year when i got a camera phone i took pictues of the notes then zoomed in on them. This really helped me in irish. My friend was stuck too and during the exam i sent the notes via bluetooth to him.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,893 ✭✭✭The_B_Man


    when i was doin the leavin, a bloke just had a piece of paper in his pocket. every time the supervisor wasnt lookin, he just took it out and looked at it. quite simple really.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,349 ✭✭✭nobodythere


    rachel wrote:
    cheating in the orals seems too easy... :(

    my school is a day and boarding school so I could get a german student to go in to do the oral for me...

    You sign your signature when you go in


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,556 ✭✭✭Slunk


    Well normally whoever is standing outside and goes the toilet with you so as you dont cheat is a student from the school anyways, more than likely he'll let you look at a few pages or just write down a few hints on the inside slip of your calculator(for maths only obviously)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 92 ✭✭DuFF-MAN


    Lenny wrote:
    Just to clear another thing up about any papaer being missing,
    they're also in a seal bag, which are in a sealed bag, two people(students) always have to sign this bag whilst it is opened before them..


    our supervisor cut the bag open first(by accident) then realised what she did, and immediately made me and another lad sign it :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 208 ✭✭7thSeal


    ferdi wrote:
    the lazy ashamed bums way - pay someone to set off the fire alarm during the exam, then when you have to repeat and you fail miserably, blame it on the trauma of having to get up and leave your 1st exam. you wont get the points but at least you'll have some sort of excuse for your folks.:p

    feRdi

    If you get someone to actually start a fire you all get A's
    You can't repeat the test
    When you leave you've already seen the test and could just go out and check all the answers


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    let sleeping threads lie.


This discussion has been closed.
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