Monty is 'Da Man'

Raffaela

I have never visited the after hours section of IGN until now and I think it's bleeding hilarious. Keep it up Monty, it's good to have some light hearted entertainment rather than 'so and so kicked so and so etc'

Love
[CsS] Princess

Raffaela

You'll have to wait for the TOP FIVE


>Every year, the U.S. F.B.I. is asked to investigate over 36,000 serious crimes including murder / homicide. And every year the Homicide
Investigations Unit puts out its "Top 20 Homicides of the Year". The 1996 Top 20 was as follows:

20. Alex Mijtus, 36 years old, was killed by his wife, armed with a
20 inch long vibrator. Mrs Mijtus had had enough of her husband's
strange sex practices and one night during a prolonged period of "fun"
she snapped, pushing all 20 inches of the vibrator into Alex's anus
until it ruptured several internal organs and caused severe bleeding.

19. Debby Mills-Newbroughton, 99 years old, was killed as she crossed
the road. She was to turn 100 the next day but, crossing the road with
her daughter to go to her own birthday party, her wheel chair was hit by the truck delivering her birthday cake.

18. Peter Stone, 42 years old, was murdered by his eight year old
daughter, who he had just sent to her room with no dinner. Young
Samantha Stone felt that if she couldn't have dinner no one should, and she promptly inserted 72 rat poison tablets into her father's coffee as he prepared dinner. The victim took one sip and promptly collapsed (Samantha Stone was given a suspended sentence as the judge felt she didn't realise what she was doing, until she tried to poison her mother using the same method one month later).

17. David Danil, 17 years old, was killed by his girlfriend Charla
after he attempted to "have his way with her". His unwelcome advances
were met with a prompt kick in the chest and then four shots from a
doubled barrelled shot gun Charla's father had given to her an hour before the date started, just in case.

16. Javier Halos, 27 years old, was killed by his landlord for
failing to pay his rent for eight years (yes, eight years). Landlord
Kirk Weston clubbed the victim to death with a toilet seat after he
Realized just how long it had been since Mr Halos paid his rent.
>
15. Mary-Lee Cooper, 11 years old, was killed by her one year old
sister who climbed on top of her while she was sleeping, suffocating
her.

14. Megan Fri, 44 years old, was killed by 14 state troopers after
she wandered onto a live firing, fake town simulation. Seeing the
troopers all walking slow down the street, Megan jumped out in front of them and yelled, "Boo!" The troopers, thinking she was a pop up target, fired 67 shots between them, over 40 of them hitting their target. "She just looked like a very real looking target," one of the troopers stated in his report.
>
13. Fiona Given, 17 years old, was killed by a hitman hired by her
ex-boyfriend after she broke off their relationship. The hitman was
promised to be paid $500,000 for the task. The hitman killed the
boyfriend after he found out that a 16 year old high school student, whose father was in jail for rape and whose mother worked as an ironing
lady, didn't have access to $500,000.

12. Louis Zaragoza, 68 years old, was killed as he prepared to drive
to work. His wife, Lee Zaragoza, had been plotting to kill him for over a year, and had cut the brakes on his car four times previously. On this attempt, Lee was just about to cut the brakes again when Louis snuck up behind her. He grabbed her and spun her around. As he did, she lost her footing and stumbled into him, stabbing him in the lower ventricle of the heart, killing him instantly.
>
11. Mahmood Foli, 22 years old, was killed by an unknown member of
the Russian Mafia after he accidentally took away the gangster's drink
too soon at the nightclub he worked in. The gangster was so upset that
he forced the waiter to drink over 27 litres of Coca Cola (the drink he
had taken away) until Mahmood drowned.
>
10. Julia Smeeth, 20 years old, was killed by her brother Michael
because she talked on the phone too long. Michael clubbed his sister to >death with a cordless phone, then stabbed her several times with the broken aerial.
>
9. Helena Simms, wife of the famous American Nuclear Scientist Harold
Simms, was killed by her husband after she had an affair with the
neighbour. Over a period of three months, Harold substituted Helena's eye shadow with a uranium composite that was highly radioactive, until she died of radiation poisoning. Although she suffered many symptoms, including total hair loss, skin welts, blindness, extreme nausea and even had an ear lobe drop off, the victim never attended a doctor's surgery or hospital for a check up.
>
8. Military Sargent John Joe Winter killed his "two timing wife" by
loading her car with Trintynitrate explosive (similar to C4). The Ford
Taurus she was driving was filled with 750 kilograms of explosive,
forming a force twice as powerful as the Oklahoma Bombing. The explosion was witnessed by several persons, some up to 14 kilometres away. No trace of the car or the victim were ever found, only a 55 metre deep crater andm500m etres of missing road.
>
7. Patty Winter, 35 years old, was killed by her neighbour in the early
hours of a Sunday morning. Her neighbour, Falt Hame, for years had
a mounted F6 phantom jet engine in his rear yard. He would fire the jet engine, aimed at a empty block at the back of his property. Patty Winter would constantly complain to the local sheriff's officers about the noise and the potential risk of fire. Mr Hame was served with a notice to remove the engine immediately. Not liking this, he invited Miss Winter over "for a cup of coffee and a chat" about the whole situation. What Winter didn't know was that he had changed the position of the engine. As she walked into the yard, he activated it, hitting her with a blast of 5000 degrees, killing her instantly, and forever burning her outline into the driveway.
>
6. Michael Lewis, angry at his gay boyfriend, used the movie 'Die
Hard With a Vengeance' as his inspiration. He drugged his boyfriend,
Tony Berry, into an almost catatonic state, then dressed him only in a
double sided white board that read "Death to all ****!" on one side
and "God loves the K.K.K." on the other. Lewis then drove the victim to downtown Harlem and dropped him off. Two minutes later Berry was
deceased.

Asuka

Awww cmon, tell us th top five

Nice one - one little point (just cos it will annoy me if i dont mention it, nothing to do with you)

8. Military Sargent John Joe Winter killed his "two timing wife" by
loading her car with Trintynitrate explosive (similar to C4).

Yes. And more commonly known as TNT.

The rest pls!

Asuka

Monty - the one and only

I all ready posted this acouple of weeks ago!
Tis under murder most horrid

But its good to see the good ones again!

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