Things to do when your bored

Monty - the one and only

I would really hate to be the person who typed this out.

No It was NOT me.....
for my addition to this list
-read this list
Wally take note

-Wax the ceiling.
-Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car.
-Drop your cat from a high place to see if it really does land on all four feet.
-Repeat above until failure.
-Rearrange political campaign signs.
-Sharpen your teeth.
-Play Houdini with one of your siblings.
-Braid your dog's hair.
-Clean and polish your belly button.
-Water your dog...see if it grows.

-Wash a tree.
-Genuflect to Lawrence Welk.
-Knight yourself and some close friends.
-Found the Jim Jones' School of Modern Bartending.
-Scare Stephen King.
-Give your cat a mohawk.
-Purr.
-Mow your carpet.
-Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings).
-Play Pat Boone records backwards.
-Re-elect Richard Nixon.
-Dress like your favorite heavy metal group...surprise your grandmother.
-Play with matches.
-Buff your cat.
-Raise professional racing ferrets.
-Paint your home...day-glo orange.
-Read Homer in the original Greek.
-Learn Greek.
-Change your mind.
-Change it back.
-Watch the sun...see if it moves.
-Paint your windows.
-Smile.
-Paint a smile.
-Shoot at a fire hydrant.
-Apologize to it.
-See if you really can build a small nuclear device in your basement.
-Rotate your garden...daily.
-Plant a shoe.
-Write letters to all the political officials that are representing you and tell them what a good job they are doing...on April 1st.
-Give a Rohrschach (ink-blot) Test to your gerbil.
-Take apart all your major kitchen appliances.
-Mix and match the parts.
-Turn your TV picture tube upside-down.
-Take your sofa for a walk.
-Write a letter to Plato.
-Mail it.
-Dial 911...breathe heavily.
-Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets.
-Carry a tune.
-Drop it to see if it breaks.
-Starch your shoes.
-Contemplate a ****roach.
-Get a dog to chase your car.
-Let him catch it.
-Form a political party.
-Throw a political party.
-Climb a sidewalk.
-Ride a loaf of bread.
-Annoy yourself.
-Get angry with yourself.
-Stop speaking to yourself.
Tell yourself your sorry.
-Stand on your head.
-Stand on someone else's head.
-Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire.
-Build a pyramid.
-Paint your teeth.
-Wear a salad.

-MAKE a drive-in window at your local bank.
-Shave a shrub.
-Have a proton fight.
-Watch a car rust.
-Confess to a crime that you didn't commit.
-Learn to type with your toes.
-Buy the Brooklyn Bridge.
-Mail it to a friend.
-Be in the wrong place at the right time.
-Be someone special.
-Plot the overthrow of your local school board.
-Request covert assistance from the CIA.
-Factor your social security number.
-Take the fifth.
-Take the sixth.

-Read the 1962 Des Moines White Pages.
-Join the Foreign Legion.
-Learn to write Sanskrit.
-Learn to read Sanskrit.
-Exist...existentially, of course.
-Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska.
-Hot wax the bottoms of your brother's dress shoes.
-Print counterfeit Confederate money.
-Kick a cabbage.
-Take a picture.
-Put it back.
-Go back to square one.
-Sand a mushroom.
-Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor.
-Play solitaire...for cash.
-Abuse your patio furniture.

-Count to one million...fast.
-Have your cat bronzed.
-Make a quilt out of used ****tail napkins.
-Sleep on a bed of nails.
-Don't toss and turn.
-Think shallow thoughts.
-Run around in squares.
-Boil ice cream.
-Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniels.
-Converse...with a flatworm.
-Speak in acronyms.
-Drive the speed limit...in your garage.
-Make a schematic drawing...of a rock.
-Be a rabid Boxcar Willie fan.
-Sing the National Anthem...during your calculus final.
-Pay off the national debt...with a bad check.
-Calmly have a nervous breakdown.
-Give your goldfish a perm.
-Fly a brick.
-Play tag...on the nearest interstate.
-Paint stripes on a lake.
-Ski Kansas.
-Wear a bowler...HAT, stupid!
-Test thin ice...with a pogo stick.
Apply for a unicorn hunting license.
-Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes.
-Do a good job.

-Be a side effect.
-Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley.
-Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck.
-Duck.
-Redecorate your garage.
-Develop a complex.
-Join the Army...be someone simple.
-Try harder.
-Hit the deck.
-Cut the deck.
-Put legwarmers on all your furniture.
-Be number six.
-Sit.
-Stay.
-Roll over.
-Play dead.
-Sprinkle your family room.
-Cause a power failure.
-Pour instant concrete in your brother's waterbed.
-Give a lecture tour on the historical significance of cream cheese.
-Debate politics with a fern.
-If you lose, stop watering it.
-Donate your brother's body to science.
-Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave.
-Be a square root.
-Ask stupid questions.
-Surf Ohio.
-Go bowling...for small game.
-Have your first statement of bankruptcy framed.
-Hang it on the wall in your office.
-Staple.
-Solve the population problem (i.e. x + 2y - 16x = population; solve for x).
-Contribute to the population problem.
-Interview a cloud.
-Go to a drive-in movie in a tank.
-Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway.
-Crumble.
-Crumple.
-Translate Shakespeare into English.
-Send the President an alarm clock...wind it up first.
-Do aerobics...in your head.
-Play cards with your swimming pool.
-Found a ****roach stable and stud farm.
-Send your goldfish to obedience school.
-Pinstripe your driveway.
-Play "Kick the Fire Hydrant."
-Harness chipmunk power.
-Free the oppressed toaster-ovens of America.
-Free the obsessed toaster-ovens of America.
-Mug a stop sign.
-Change your name...daily.
-Go for a walk...in the attic.
-Challenge the neighbor to a duel.
-Find a witch.
-Burn her.
-Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat.
-Go bow hunting...for Toyotas.
-Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids.
-Boldly go where no man has gone before.
-Jump back.
-Play to lose.
-Be a threat to the American way of life.
-Be a threat to the Northwest Tibetan way of life.
-Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Toronto.
-Have your car painted plaid.
-Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization).
-Play nuclear chicken with a small third-world nation.
-Race turnips.
-Sharpen your sleeping skills.
-Put out a fire.
-If you can't find one, make one.
-Ionize your new chemistry professor (remember - you took the heat capacity of the first one).
-Make a life-sized replica of the Statue of Liberty...out of grape Jell-o.
-Get a college education.
-Bury your father's Nissan.
-Tell him the dog did it.
-Catch a falling star.
-Throw it back.
-Place your cat in hyperspace.
-Again tell your dad the dog did it.
-Find out where all of those cylinders graduated from.
-Install handicapped access to the [your favorite pathetic baseball team]'s dugout.
-Kickstart your TV.
-Kickstop your TV.
-Perfect the internal combustion telephone.
-Prove once and for all that a cow can jump over the moon.
-Make a list of things to do when bored.
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your pillow X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of water
Be blue
- Be red
- But don't be orange
- Plant a shoe
- Play the piano...with mittens on
- Sleepwalk without sleeping
- Ask stupid questions
- Weld your car doors shut
- Vacation at Three-Mile Island
- Surf Ohio
- Teach your pet rock to play dead
- Go bowling for small game
- Be a monk...for a day
- Staple
- Intimidate a piece of chalk
- Bend a flourescent light
- Bend a brick
- Annoy total strangers
- Let the best man win
- Believe in Santa Claus
- Throw marshmallows against the wall
- Hold an ice cube as long as possible
- Adopt strange mannerisms
- Blow up a balloon until it pops
- Sing soft and sweet and clear
- Sing loud and sour and gravely
- Open everything
- Balance a pencil on your nose
- Pour milk in your shoes
- Write graffiti under the rug
- Grind your teeth
- Chew ice
- Sit in a row
- Stack crumbs
- Gesture
- Save your toenail clippings
- Make up words that start with X
- Make oatmeal in the bathtub
- Search for the Lost Chord
- Chew on a sofa cushion
- Sing a duet...by yourself
- Balance a pillow on your head
- Hold your breath
- Faint
- Stretch
- Teach your goldfish English
- Learn to speak Farsi
- Use an eraser until it goes away
- Disassemble your car
- Put it together inside out
- Record your walls
- Interview your feet
- Make a list of your favorite fungi
- Sell formaldehyde
- Repeat
- File your teeth
- Whine
- Re-elect Richard Nixon
- Critique "Three's Company"
- Buff your cat
- raise Racing ferrets
- Paint your house...Day-Glow Orange
- Have a spaghetti dinner at White Castle
- Change your mind
- See how long you can stay awake
- See how long you can sleep
- Paint your teeth
- Pretend you're blind
- Build a house out of toothpicks
- Wear a lampshade on your head
- Memorize the dictionary
- Stomp grapes in the bathtub
- Find a bug and chase it
- Make yourself a pair of wings
- Be immobile
- Dance 'til you drop
- Check under chairs for chewing gum
- Squish a loaf of bread
- Bounce a potato
- Outmaneuver your shadow
- Climb the walls
- Appreciate everything
- Challenge yourself to a duel
- Watch a bowling ball
- Eat everything
- Make cottage cheese
- Tie-dye your sheets
- Carpet your ceiling
- Hold your earlobes
- Fold your earlobes
- Flap
- Squawk
- Read tea leaves
- Analyze the Koran
- Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize
- Plug in the cat
- Turn on everything
- Drop pebbles down the chimney
- Kill a plant
- Buy a 1931 Almanac
- Memorize the weather section
- Send chills down your spine
- Peel grapes
- Make paper from the skins
- Get run over by a train of thought
- Make up famous sayings
- Write books about writing books
- Create random equations
- Mispell words
- Throw a tomato into a fan
- Sing the ABC song backwards
- Pretend you're a dog
- Grease the doorknobs
- String up a room
- Stack furniture
Relive fond memories
- Tie your shoelaces together
- Count your teeth with your tongue
- Design a better toilet seat
- Shred a newspaper
- Have a headache
- Hatch an egg
- Play air guitar
Act profound
- Develop hearing problems
- Put your feet behind your head
- Tie bows in everything
- Watch the minute hand move
- Grow your fingernails
- Pretend you're a telephone
- Play hopscotch...with real scotch
Clock the velocity of your R.E.Ms
- Put your shoes on the opposite feet
- Roll your tongue
-Crystallize
-Baby oil the floor... then Hide
- Correct typos that aren't there

---

---

"Respect my Authoratai"

www.firstones.com

Asuka

Someone must have been really bored to type all that out...