Things You Should Know Before You Leave Home

Terminator

Can some of you remember when you were younger and you used to dream about living away from your nagging parents?

As my parents tearfully waved me off, here's some things they neglected to tell me:

- You spend most of your money on Washing Powder and Toilet Roll
- Landlords are evil aliens from another planet.
- Forget about tea towels and dish clothes - there's no hot water to wash up anyway.
- Everybody eating beans every day of every week is not normal.
- Flatmates stealing light bulbs from main bathroom.
- Flatmates moving out before bills are paid.
- Flatmates moving in partners under the cover of night and pretending they were there all along ("Surely, you've met Sue?")
- Couples and their power games

And my own personal favourite.

- Couples and their five course epic meals, taking up every ring on the cooker that take 3 hours to make.

Anybody got some other nuggets?

Irish_Ranger_IR

Flatmates that hog the telly,
Flatmates who like to wake u up, when they come in from the pub,
Flatmate that only make a mess, never clean up after them selves,
Flatmates that never buy anything, always uses your stuff..

There's more......There always is.......

EvilGeorge

Must get a place on my own when I move or kill flatmates shortly after arriving.

phoenix2181

flatmates that leave hair around & clogging up the bath hole
flatemates leaving their toeclippings around the house.
flatemates leaving used condoms lying around the place.
flatmates who refuse to clean the toilet due to their "light stomach"..........

kayos

flatmates how mistakingly plug your laptop charger into the radio phone base unit and you discover the base unit smoking due to the 20V rechanger being a wee bit to much for the 8V phone unit and the said phone unit is the only phone in the house. (this actually happend this morning)

flatmates that rob your last beer that you were looking forward to after a hard days work and all the off licences are closed and even when they are open your broke.

flatmates who come home with friends and complain that you've made a mess of the place when in fact you spent the pass 4 hours tiding up after they left the place looking like a bomb site.

and here comes my biggest pet hate

flatmates who leave floaters FFS just wait a minute and flush again for heavens sakes.

kayos

The Sweeper

Flatmates. Full stop.


I like to cook.

There's only so many years of my life that I can spend buying a non-stick frying pan in a cheap store because the old one is rusty, and wake up the following morning to find my flat mate scraping burnt scrambled eggs out of it with a metal fork.

dccarm

Flatmates who use the butter/milk/bread etc. which YOU paid for, and then leave it lying out so it goes off/stale whatever.

Flatmates who manage to keep their rooms spotless, but don't seem to be able to drag that hoover into the next ****ing room.

Flatmates who leave their own stuff scattered throughout the house, but when anything goes missing it ends up in THEIR room (and this happened with my WOK believe it or not - I'm scared to use it again!)

The Clown Man

Flatmates who can't be drunk without being FCUKED and breaking everything.

Flatmates who break everything.

Flatmates who's friends break everything.

Flatmates who give you €7.46 1/2c for the gas bill.

Flatmates who scrape my new wok with a fork when I haven't even used it yet. (mentioned already but its so annoying that it needed a second mentioning).

Flatmates who "clean" the dishes in such a way that there is more shyte on them than before they "cleaned" them.

Flatmates who hog the TV when you have got a video.

Flatmates who take your last two slices of bread.

Flatmates who leave cups/dishes in the sink until there is a green and blue carpet surrounding them.

Flatmates who leave the electric shower on.

Flatmates who lock their rooms whenever you have friends round to protect all the extremely interesting stuff like toenail clippings, text books and the gas heating panel inside.

Flatmates who use all your pots and pans and hide their own behind the bed.

Flatmates who smell.

Flatmates who smell.

Flatmates who smell.


My g/f and I are finding new flatmates

dccarm

Clown man - I think we have the same flatmates. Strange I've never bumped into you in the hall. Or have I?

The Gopher

Yeah its a ctach 22.Im still in school and havent left home yet.Im not sure what I want to do.It would be handy having your own place where you can sleep all day,come in at any hour you want blind drunk and watch porn on the tv without having the sitting room door closed and your finger on the remote in case the parents should walk in.But at the same time id say some flatmates can get tiring.After a while you could even get tired of your own friends if you had to live with them 24 hours a day.

Terminator

Okay thought of some more - this time I'm not holding back ...

flatmates sneaking into your room and making phone calls to Australia.

flatmates sneaking into your room and watching their wedding videos - what if I had had porn in the video at the time - that would have been embarassing.

flatmates putting every single cup, plate, knife and fork into the sink, filling it up with water and then just leaving them there for everyone else to fish out.

flatmates moving in their wives from Romania (its true!) who don't speak a word of english but do help a bit around the house.

foreign flatmates constantly complaining about Dublin Bus - don't tell me I don't fcuking run the company.

landlords always trying to up the rent and yet never botherin to fix anything that breaks in the house.

Victor

Flatmates who drunkenly fall asleep infront of the TV with their jeans around their ankles and hand down the front of their boxers.

Flatmates who give you the months rent, but only on alternative months.

Flatmates who say "lets do this together", only for you to end up paying for it.

Flatmates who (a) eat your food / drink / condiments and (b) you realise that they are the only one who used any of that bottle / box / packet.

phobos

Flatmates that cannot enjoy a night out without robbing something on the way home, or causing some serious damage. Damage such as turning a neighbours car over!!

Then they usually wake up the next morning and say "OMFG what have I done!". Sorry dude!, too late!!.

But inside the house they are actually OK. When I go out, I make sure I'm practically sober before returning home. The best nights is when you go to the pub/or drink cans at home (and get bolloxed), then go clubbing, and dance the drink out of your system. Then strut out of the club, and smile at everyone else trying to do likewise, or else try and get all your flatmates home before they end up in a paddy wagon.

;-phobos-)

Goodshape

Flatmates who bítch about your drunkin antics on internet message boards.

Panda

enemies of flatmates who come to your house in the middle of the night, take a potted plant + for sale sign from your neighbours house, smash said pot on your driveway, put the sign in your kitchen and put all electrical appliances into your sitting room.

you heard me right.

flatmates who are idiots.

flatmates who cut plugs off your nintendo.

flatmates who think the excuse "I was really, really drunk" is funny and ok.

flatmates who burn holes in the carpet.

flatmates who leave the emertion on all ****ing day.

billy the squid

flatmates who bum stuff off you using guilt trip "ah i didnt get paid today cos the bank machine was broken" once is ok but like every second day

flatmates who listen to crap music really loud

Samson

Flatmates who...

Oops, what am I on about, when I moved out I had a whole house all to myself

leeroybrown

Flatmates with incredibly loud girlfriends.

Theres only so much groaning and grunting you can take when you're trying to get a few hours sleep before another early morning.

Victor

Originally posted by leeroybrown
Flatmates with incredibly loud girlfriends.

I understand the technical term is a 'screamer', common in cold swimming pools, carnival rides and the like.

hacktavist

Originally posted by phobos
Flatmates that cannot enjoy a night out without robbing something on the way home, or causing some serious damage. Damage such as turning a neighbours car over!!

Was that you that put that abandond car on its roof then?

azezil

Flatmates who are junkies

Junkie flatmates who bring over their friends to do junkie stuff

Junkie flatmates, mates who come over have a quick shag in the sitting room , eat my food then leave in a load and disorderly manner.

Junkie flatmates, mates who they've fallen out with that come over looking for a fight... spend hours banging on the doors and windows trying to get in. Totally oblivious of the fact that their junkie mate has moved out and refuse to believe you when you try to tell them... repeatidily over a 3 hour period!!!

i'll think of more later

rymus

After reading all this.. I got down on my knees and thanked god I'm still living at home!

Thank god I didnt get that job in Dublin!

Acidflash

flatmates who leave smelly shoes outside their room so everyone else has to suffer

Tazz T

I couldn't wait to get an apartment on my own...

Then I found out I couldn't stand living with myself.:rolleyes:

nahdoic

Flatmates who you unfortunately have to share a bunk bed with in a tiny room. While you are trying to get some sleep in bed, they come in stoned/drunk out of their minds. They strip off in the middle of the room, lean against their top bunk for support, and proceed to try and crack one off over your bed while making typing beeps from their 8210 with their free hand. Can u get porn on those nokia phones??? Actually I don't even want to know. Thorougly unpleasant. It really is a small room. Ughh. I did not wait around for the fireworks, and I was outta there straight away and watched some really bad early morning telly.

Moral of the story, no matter how cheap you make think the rent is, it's not worth it.

Hobbes

The other end of the spectrum. (thankfully not mine)

Flatmates who put thier name on all the food. Ever seen sticky labels on individual eggs?

"Sleeping with the enemy" kind who get emotionally upset because you dried your hand with the towel and didn't put it back *exactly* the way it was.

neuro-praxis

Oh my goodness, sometimes i think I am going out of my mind with my flatmates.

I hate:

Flatmates who THROW OUT THINGS THAT BELONG TO YOU LIKE YOUR PRIZED COLLECTION OF COLORS MAGAZINES FROM ITALY

Flatmates who break household appliances and then leave them there for you to find when you need them

Flatmates who put your clean washing on the dirty kitchen floor when they want the washing machine

Flatmates who never wash their hands after they pee and also pee all over the seat

Flatmates who open your cupboard and steal things like your jars of coffe, then claim ownership of them

Flatmates who shove rubbish down the sides of the sofa

Flatmates whose girlfriends have been living with us for the LAST THREE MONTHS

Flatmates who swear randomly ad very very loudly whilst alone in their bedrooms (I think this guy has Turet's Syndrome).

I have to find somewhere else to live!

Shiminay

hmmmmmm

I guess I've been relativly lucky - one housemate ate my stuff and had the smelliest feet in the history of mankind - guy never washed his clothes either which compounded my woes. Then one day, the heater was on and his shoes and socks were left beside it - I arrived back to the house and had to evacuate and ring him and ask when it was safe to return!

Another place, the guy who I knew in the house who got me to move in had been a good mate in college, but had suddenly turned into a mong. You think you know someone...
Anyway, I left that house before I killed him, but his death wasn't too far away.

Since then, life has been pretty good in the flatmate department - it's not all horror stories!!!

Da Bounca

You should probably get to know people before you move in with them or them in with you.
It makes sense.

amp

I currently live alone in amp towers. But I have experienced sharing a house with people before. And the things I really hate are living with people with no sense of humour. Gets on my tits.

Living with couples is ok as long as you view them as one pyschotic person.