Ladies NO MORE I SAY!!!

Doc

For too long we men have been divided and conquered in the name of equality, feminism and a host of other old bollocks.
No more! The man fights back!! Tell your friends, the 90's man is
dead....

Long live the Man of 2002 .

Listen up ladies, below is how it REALLY is.....



If you think you might be fat, you are. Don't ask us. Just get your
arsedown to a gym.


Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put the bloody thing down .
Don't cut your hair. Ever. It causes unnecessary arguments when
we dare to comment on it.


Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if
we can remember or find the perfect present... again.


Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.


Saturday = Rugby/Cricket/Football (Not shopping!) Let it be.


Anything you wear is fine. Really !!!.


Ask for what you want directly. Subtle hints don't work.


Face it, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point
blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.


Most blokes own two to three pairs of shoes, so what makes you
think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with that particular dress?


'Yes', 'No' and 'Mmm' are perfectly acceptable answers.


A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.


Your Mum doesn't have to be our best friend.


Check your oil. It is an essential part of car maintenance.


The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months we were going out.


Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in a
subsequent argument.


It's not the dress that makes you look fat. It's all that bloody
chocolate you eat!!


Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed
makes you sound jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to
deter us from reading them.


The male models with great bodies you see in magazines are all
gay.


If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of
these ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.


Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we rate how pretty you are?


Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercial breaks.


When we are in bed and look tired this means that we are tired and definitely does not mean that we want to discuss the relationship.


If you want some dessert after a meal - have some. You don't
HAVE to finish it. You can just taste it if you like but don't say "No, I couldn't/shouldn't/don't want any" and then eat half of mine.


Dieting doesn't work without exercise.


If you're on a diet it doesn't mean my meals should be rabbit food
as well.


A man's four essential food groups are: white meat, red meat,
potatoes and ale. Please ensure all meals contain a good
balance of the above in acceptable quantities - everything else is under the category
'garnish'.


Do not question our sense of direction.


Before setting out on a car journey, learn your left from your right.


If you can learn the above, then man and woman can co-exist on a level based on love and mutual respect.

The ball is in your court.

Sincerely


The Lads:p

__________________

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats

Mossy Monk

very good

daftbegger

But most importantly..

Girls. YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS!!!!!

Uphamizer

I'm the boss

Lump

Sounds like good rules for women to live by.

John

TARE

Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we rate how pretty you are?


lol, I have to use that.

flyz

lol

I'd like to see how may of ye men would actually have the guts to turn around and say those things to ye're girlfriends

elexes

Originally posted by flyz
lol

I'd like to see how may of ye men would actually have the guts to turn around and say those things to ye're girlfriends

i take you up on ur challange sire now i bid thy gud riddens as im off to have my head taken off

leeroybrown

I'd like to see how may of ye men would actually have the guts to turn around and say those things to ye're girlfriends

Its got nothing to do with guts ... its all about mantaining sexual opportunity!

MelKor

how come lesbians can do all of the above?:D

rymus

hazzah! Gwan the revolution!