Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Classic scifi quotes

  • 05-02-2002 1:45pm
    #1
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 15,001 ✭✭✭✭


    azezil mentioning rikers "they are carving us up like a roast" quote, i thought i would start a classic quotes thread :)

    i'll get the ball rolling:

    (TNG) Worf: "I am not a merry man!"


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil


    Are you wearing some unusual kind of perfume, or something radioactive, my dear? - McCoy

    Does your logic find this 'fascinating', Mr Spock?
    'Fascinating' is a word I use for the unexpected. In this case, I should think 'interesting' would suffice. - McCoy and Spock

    Spock is contaminating that boy! - McCoy (lol :D)

    The law is paramount! - The Sheliak (paramount humor)

    Seems human enough to me! - Guinan after stabbing Q with a fork (:D)

    What do I have to do to convince you [I am human]?
    Die!
    Very clever, Worf. Eaten any good books lately? - Q and Worf

    lots more at:
    http://w1.871.telia.com/~u87112797/series.html#tos


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,389 ✭✭✭✭Saruman


    Worfs best and funniest... when Q sends them to Sherwood forest. "Captain i must protest, i am not a merry man!"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,393 ✭✭✭Inspector Gadget


    Hmm... Worf Quotes, eh?

    "I do not smirk. But if I did, this would be a good opportunity"
    -- Worf, TNG "By Inferno's Light"

    Worf: "That is how a Klingon lures a mate."
    Wesley: "Are you telling me to yell at Salia?"
    Worf: "No, no, no. Men do not roar. Women roar. Then they hurl heavy objects. And claw at you."
    Wesley: "What does the man do?"
    Worf: "He reads love poetry. He ducks a lot."
    Wesley: "Worf, it sounds like it works great for the Klingons, but... I need to try something a little less... dangerous?"
    Worf: "Go to her door, beg like a human."
    -- TNG "The Dauphin"

    Worf (referring to Garak): "At the first sign of betrayal I will kill him, but I promise to return the body intact."
    Sisko: "I assume that's a joke."
    Worf: "We will see"
    -- DS9 "In Purgatory's Shadow"

    (and by the way, the actual quote people are trying to come up with above is: )
    "Sir, I Protest! I am NOT a merry man!!!"
    -- Worf, TNG "Qpid"

    ...some quotes with Worf in them:

    Worf: "You are not in my shoes."
    Dax: "Too bad. You'd be amazed at what I can do in a pair of size 18's."
    -- DS9 "Looking for Par'Mach in All the Wrong Places"

    Worf: "Life is a great deal more complicated in this red uniform"
    Sisko: "Wait until you get four pips on your collar; you'll wish you went into botany"
    -- DS9 "Rules of Engagement"

    ...but one of my favourite SciFi quotes is another Trek one, but this time, Q (don't have the episode name, sorry), but it's a classic:

    "It's difficult to work in a group when you're omnipotent"

    Gadget :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,393 ✭✭✭Inspector Gadget


    Here are a few good ones:

    Andromeda Quotes
    "...override safety protocols; authorisation 'Shut Up And Do What I Damn Well Tell You'"
    -- Beka Valentine, "Una Salus Victus"

    Dylan: "You know I can't do that."
    Tyr: "No, because, and let me see if I've got this down, our alliance with the Wayists, etcetera, etcetera...reuniting the Commonwealth, so on and so forth...enhance our reputation as peacemakers, ad nauseum...am I close?"
    -- (Unknown)

    "What's not to like? It's not like Ackeron is chock full of old High Guard missile batteries operated by psychopathic Drago-Kazov Nietzcheans. Oh, wait. It is!"
    -- Séamus Harper, "Una Salus Victus"

    Dylan: "So, your brother's a... Brother."
    Beka: "If Raphe Valentine is a monk, then I'm a Vestal Virgin!"
    -- "Ties That Bind"

    "Magog with guns. Well, This just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?"
    -- Dylan Hunt, "The Widening Gyre"

    "I hate weather. Did I mention that? Rev...You're a monk. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if the Divine had wanted us to suffer through weather, he would have never have given us space travel. Am I right?"
    -- Beka Valentine, "Exit Strategies"

    "Trust you? Couldn't we start with something easier? Perpetual motion, maybe? Universal translator?"
    -- Beka Valentine, "A Heart For Falsehood Framed"

    "Oh, you want a pep talk? OK, do your jobs, don't screw up, and we'll all get out of this alive...maybe."
    -- Dylan Hunt, "Pitiless As The Sun"

    "Funny how no one names their planet-killer the 'Fluffy Bunny'"
    -- Beka Valentine, "All Too Human"

    "Love is merely a trick DNA plays to replicate itself."
    -- Tyr Anasazi, "Star-Crossed"

    "Requested: One Mark V ECM unit, 1000km of Fullerene cable, one low-yield nuclear warhead.
    Purpose: Surprise party for foreign dignitary"
    -- "Argosy Special Operations requisition form, CY 9512" text at beginning of "Una Salus Victus"

    Gadget :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,699 ✭✭✭Da Bounca


    It's a pity Andromeda is a steaming pile of poo.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil


    From "Spaceballs"

    RADAR TECH: I'm having trouble with the radar sir.
    DARK HELMET: What's wrong with it?
    RADAR TECH: I've lost the bleeps, I've lost the sweeps, and I've lost the creeps.
    DARK HELMET: The what?
    RADAR TECH: The what?
    DARK HELMET: And the what?
    RADAR TECH: You know, the bleeps (makes bleep noise), the sweeps (sweep noise) and the creeps (creep noise).
    DARK HELMET: That's not all he's lost!

    from:http://tomsquotes.amhosting.net/movies/space/space.htm


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 875 ✭✭✭EvilGeorge


    "Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back in time for breakfast" classic red dwarf !!


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 2,975 Mod ✭✭✭✭LoGiE


    All right, people, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the corps! A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the corps!

    Sergeant. Apone in Aliens
    God I love that Film!:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,393 ✭✭✭Inspector Gadget


    The 'Londo Mollari' character in B5 ended up with a large proportion of the funnier quotes from that show; I thought I'd share a few funnyish ones...

    Gadget

    ==============================

    "There is a natural law. Physics tells us, that for every action, there must be an equal and opposite reaction. They hate us, we hate them, they hate us back. And so, here we are - victims of mathematics."
    -- "A Voice In The Wilderness (Part I)"

    Vir: "I thought the purpose of filing these reports was to provide accurate intelligence--?"
    Londo: "Vir, Intelligence has nothing to do with politics."
    -- "Point Of No Return"

    "Only an idiot fights a war on two fronts. Only the heir to the kingdom of idiots would fight a war on twelve fronts."
    -- "Ceremonies of Light and Dark"

    "If you see something this big with eight legs coming your way, let me know, I have to kill it before it develops language skills"
    -- "Sic Transit Vir"

    "On my world, we have learned, an inauguration is simply a signal to assassins that a new target has been setup on the firing range."
    -- "No Compromises"

    "You have that vacant look in your eyes, that says 'Hold my head to your ear, you'll hear the sea!'"
    -- "The Very Long Night Of Londo Mollari"

    "The Universe is an evil place, but at least it seems to have a sense of humor about the whole thing."
    -- "The Very Long Night Of Londo Mollari"

    "The Universe hates me, you know. I don't know why. I have never done anything to the Universe... Uh ... Well, all right, a few things, but after a while, you would think it would be enough. Yes, we have had our little fun with Londo Mollari for now. Perhaps, it is time to move on and find someone else to play with??"
    -- "A View From The Gallery"

    Londo: "What do you eat when I am gone?"
    Vir: "Well, I ... obviously we have plenty of ... uh ... I eat at McBari's."
    Londo: "Mcbari's? Is that the new place in the brown sector? With the golden, uhm ..."
    Vir: "Golden head bones. Yes."
    Londo: "Vir! We are not biologically equipped to handle fast food!"
    Vir: "I know, I know. But it tastes so great going down. Coming up again, it is not so terrific."
    -- "Meditations On The Abyss"

    Londo: "I have this feeling, something is terribly wrong."
    G'kar: "You're at war with everyone in the known Universe. Perhaps you were thinking of that?"
    -- "Movements Of Fire And Shadow"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,626 ✭✭✭smoke.me.a.kipper


    Originally posted by EvilGeorge
    "Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back in time for breakfast" classic red dwarf !!

    clearly a classic :D

    also from red-dwarf,

    Rimmer: step up to red alert
    Kryton: are you absolutly sure sir, that would mean changing the bulb!


    "it's just like golf lister, keep a firm grip on your club, your eye on the ball and try not to sway to the left or the right"


    "stoke me a clipper, ill be back for christmas"


    "Just this morning you referred to me as 'a cancerous polyp on the anus of humanity'."


    "I just want to say: over the years, I have come to regard you as ... people I met."


    "Um, I think we're all beginning to lose sight of the real issue here, which is "What are we going to call ourselves?" um, and I think it comes down to a choice between `The League Against Salivating Monsters' or my own personal preference, which is `The Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society'. Um, one drawback with that... the abbreviation is `CLITORIS'."


    "Ahh, 'smug mode'."


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,975 ✭✭✭Oeneus


    Star Wars

    "That's it, Chewy. Always thinking about your stomach"

    "If my circuits are of any help I'll gladly donate them"

    Old Godzilla movies

    "AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! Look out the window!!!"

    "we are from Planet X"

    Galaxy Quest

    "Never give up! Never Surren..." "OH SHUT UP!!"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,425 ✭✭✭Fidelis


    Here are some good quotes from the 'outer limits' thread of a while back...


    Inspector Gadget posted...
    "'Secure' is such a relative term, isn't it?"

    "Paranoid is what they call people who imagine they have threats against their life"

    Another good Bashir/Garak exchange:
    Bashir: "They broke seven of your ribs and fractured your clavicle!"
    Garak: "Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos"
    -- from "The Way Of The Warrior"

    "I'd like to get my hands on that fellow Earl Grey and tell him a thing or two about tea leaves"
    -- from "In Purgatory's Shadow"

    A possible rarity, an Odo/Garak exchange:
    Odo: "You'd shoot a man in the back?"
    Garak: "It's the safest way, isn't it?"
    -- from "Call To Arms"

    "I always hope for the best; unfortunately, experience has taught me to expect the worst"
    -- from "Sacrifice of Angels pt.2"

    ...and to nail it off (and complete the list of quotes sitting in my Palmpilot):
    "To think, after all this time, all our lunches together, you still don't trust me? There's hope for you yet, Doctor"
    -- from "Distant Voices"

    Trojan posted...
    Bashir: So of the stories you told me, which ones were true?
    Garak: My dear doctor, all of them were true.
    Bashir: What about the lies?
    Garak: Especially the lies.

    The Corinthian posted...
    "The truth is only a lie that hasn't been discovered yet."

    "Always burn your bridges after you, you never know who might be trying to follow."

    "The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination."

    "I believe in coincidences. Coincidences happen every day. But I don't trust coincidences."

    (Bashir tells the story of the boy who cried "Wolf")
    Bashir: "If you lie all the time, no one is going to believe you, even when you're telling the truth."
    Garak: "Are you sure that's the point, Doctor?"
    Bashir: "Of course. What else would it be?"
    Garak: "That you should never tell the same lie twice."

    One of my favourites: "Treason, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder" - Garak


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil


    From aliens:

    Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man? - No, have you?

    Get away from her you bitch! (i liked that part alot :))

    What're we supposed to use, man? Harsh language?

    you started this. show me everything. (sweeeet lol)

    looks like we have to go rescue some teenage colonist from their verginity.

    X-files
    "Mulder, toads just fell from the sky." -Scully
    "I guess their parachutes didn't open." -Mulder


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,574 ✭✭✭Clinical Waste


    "F*CK YOU ASSHOLE!" (Arnie in T1)

    "Dreams are answers to questions we havn't yet figured out how to ask" (Agent Mulder)

    "Hello Michael" (Kitt)

    "Suck my Thermos!" (Cat, Red Dwarf)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,389 ✭✭✭✭Saruman


    Q to Worf "And microbrain.. growl for me" .. something like that anyway as he says it mid-sentance..

    Q to Neelix on the holodeck working the bar - "Bar-Rodent, ill have a .... " Whatever drink he ordered i dont recall but Neelix did not look too happy


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,389 ✭✭✭✭Saruman


    And the number 1 of all time... eh "Good morning Dave"
    2001 - Hal!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,393 ✭✭✭Inspector Gadget


    Random quotes, including some Red Dwarf and a couple of beauties from Voyager's EMH...

    Gadget

    ===========================

    "Kryten, unpack Rachel and break out the puncture repair kit - I'm alive!"
    -- Capt. Arnold Rimmer, Red Dwarf, "Timeslides"

    "Emergency. Emergency. There's an emergency going on. It's still going on. It's still an emergency. This is an emergency announcement."
    -- Holly (ship's computer), Red Dwarf, "Confidence And Paranoia"

    "What about the Rimmer Directive, which states, 'Never tangle with anything that's got with more teeth than the entire Osmond family'?"
    -- Rimmer, Red Dwarf, "Polymorph"

    "'Pub'... ah, yes, a meeting place where people attempt to reach advanced states of mental incompetence by the repeated consumption of fermented vegetable drinks."
    -- Kryten, Red Dwarf, "Timeslides"

    "Damage control report: Dehydration level 45%; Recall of previous evening 2%; Embarrassment factor 91%!
    Advise repair schedule:Reboot startup disk, offline for 36 hours and replace head. Boy! What a night!"
    -- Kryten, Red Dwarf, "The Last Day"

    Lister: "We're on a mining ship, three million years into deep space. Can someone explain to me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?"
    Cat: "Hey, it's not a good night unless you get a traffic cone! It's the policewoman's helmet and the suspenders I don't understand!"
    -- Red Dwarf, "The Last Day"

    Holly: "Purple alert! Purple alert!"
    Lister: "What's a purple alert?"
    Holly: "Well, it's like not as bad as a red alert, but a bit worse than a blue alert -- sort of a mauve alert"
    -- Red Dwarf, "Dimension Jump"

    "Kryten personal blackbox recording. Time: unknown. Location: unknown. Cause of accident: unknown. Should someone find this recording, perhaps it will shed light as to what happened here. My short-term memory has been erased. This I ascribe to the proximity of the magnetic coils from Starbug's rear engine. Secondly, due to the proximity of the magnetic coils, my short-term memory appears to have been erased. This, combined with the erasure of my short-term memory, has left me a little disoriented."
    -- Kryten, Red Dwarf, "Terrorform"

    Holly: "Rude alert! Rude alert! An electrical fire has knocked out my voice-recognition unicycle! Many Wurlitzers are missing from my database! Abandon shop! This is not a daffodil! Repeat: This is not a daffodil!"
    Rimmer: "Well, thankfully, Holly's unaffected."
    -- Red Dwarf, "Demons and Angels"

    "Strap yourselves in - this flight's gonna suck and we don't serve peanuts"
    -- Hawkes, Space: Above And Beyond, "...Tell Our Moms We Done Our Best"

    "How come you just can't punch a senior officer? Like, if he's got it coming?"
    -- Hawkes, Space: Above And Beyond, "Ray Butts"

    Wang (looking at goo in an alien spaceship): "What is that stuff?"
    West: "I'm not sure, but I think they served it in my highschool cafeteria."
    -- Space: Above And Beyond, "Hostile Visit."

    "58th, this is Red Dog. Are you the guys who dialled 911?"
    -- Rescue party to the 58th, Space: Above And Beyond, "Toy Soldiers"

    "Medically speaking, there's no accounting for taste"
    -- Dr. Phlox, ST: Enterprise, "Silent Enemy"

    (and a related one:)

    "It is offensive. Fortunately, taste is irrelevant"
    -- Seven Of Nine, ST: Voyager, "Year Of Hell (Part 2)"

    "From the condition of your hypothalmus, I'd say they had you so mixed up they could convince you your own mother was a turnip"
    -- EMH (to Chakotay), ST: Voyager, "Nemesis"

    "Don't argue with the man, run along. I'll reattach any severed limbs, just don't misplace them"
    -- EMH, ST: Voyager, "The Killing Game"

    "If you hear muffled screams, consider that a request for a beam-out"
    -- Lt. Tom Paris, ST: Voyager, "Parturition"

    "In these maturation chambers, the development of conversational skills is, I suppose, a low priority?"
    EMH, ST:Voyager, "Mortal Coil"

    EMH Mk.1: "Stop breathing down my neck"
    EMH Mk.2: "My breathing is merely a simulation..."
    EMH Mk.1: "So is my neck. Stop it anyway!"
    -- ST: Voyager, "Message In A Bottle"

    "Vulcan mind melds. Utter foolishness. Anybody with an ounce of sense wouldn't share his brain with someone else. Would you? I certainly wouldn't"
    -- EMH, ST: Voyager, "Meld"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,389 ✭✭✭✭Saruman


    Thats a lot of Quotes


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,501 ✭✭✭✭Slydice


    "chill out dickwad"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,443 ✭✭✭✭bonkey


    I cant believe you guys got to page 2 without :

    "I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and I'm all outta gum".

    Rowdy Roddy Piper - They Live.

    jc


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil


    I considered puting it in but feared the effect it would have on the flying hamster population ... as it turns out my fears were unfounded. *phew*


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil


    "Cry havoc! and unleash the dogs of war"
    -ST 6


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,521 ✭✭✭jmcc


    Originally posted by Clain
    Why didn''t I think of this before!!!

    Khan: "From hell's heart... I stab at thee."

    Khan (in that particular Star Trek movie) was quoting Captain Ahab's final words from Moby Dick. :) I think.

    Regards...jmcc


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,521 ✭✭✭jmcc


    "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.
    Attacked ships on fire off the Shoulder of Orion;
    I've seen moonbeams glittering down at Tannhauser Gate. All those memories, lost like tears in rain. Time to die!" Roy Batty - 'Bladerunner'

    That is one of the best quotes from one of the best SciFi movies ever. :)

    Regards...jmcc


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,219 ✭✭✭plastic membrane


    The X Files - Jose Chungs From Outer Space

    Pilot: Have you ever flown a UFO ?
    Mulder: No..
    Pilot (sucking long on a ciggie): Afterwards, sex seems trite..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    Yes seamus was watching Voyager last night, quite inebriated, and thought this was brilliant:

    (Tuvok, Janeway and Seven(still a Borg) on a Borg cube)

    Seven: Here is a list of Voyager's weapons inventory
    (Long Pause)
    Tuvok: How did you get this information?
    (Another pause)
    Seven: We are Borg.
    (......)


    I thought it was brilliant, just for the looks on the faces:D:)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,109 ✭✭✭sutty


    What no FarScape quotes?


    John Crichton: No...Dont shoot my hand........Dont shoot my sex life!

    Stark: My side, your side!!! My side, your side!!! My side, your side!!!

    Aeryn Sun: Whats that smell?
    John Crichton: Fried Dentics...
    Aeryn Sun: You cant eat Dentics
    John Crichton: Sure you can, you can eat anything you frie
    *John puts a Dentic in his mouth and then spits it out again*


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,005 ✭✭✭Creature


    "I don't know what the hell that is in there but it's weird and
    pissed off" - Nauls from The Thing


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,564 ✭✭✭Typedef


    [Start Trek]
    "Dammit Jim I'm a doctor not a brick layer"
    "I need all the power you can muster mister"
    "Landrew, Landrew, Landrew, Landrew"
    "Revenge is a dish best served cold. It is very cold...in space."
    "I've done more than kill you. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on...hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me. As you left her. Marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet. Buried alive... Buried alive... Buried alive..."

    [Terminator]
    "Get out"
    "There was this guy once, do you see this scar"
    "Nice night for a walk eh? -'Nice night for a walk' Wash day tomorrow nothing clean right? -'Nothing clean right' Hey I think this guy is a couple of cans short of a six pack -'Your clothes... give zem to me'"
    "Listen! Understand! That terminator is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead."


    [Wargames]
    "Path follow path, Gate open gate through gate close gate, Last Ferry leaves at six o'clock so run run run"
    "Lets play global thermonuclear war"


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 764 ✭✭✭Terminator


    ALIENS - FAV FILM OF ALL TIME

    "have IQ's dropped sharply while I was away. "

    "You're going out there to destroy them, right? Not to study, not to bring back, but to wipe them out? "

    "Guess she didn't like the cornbread either"

    "I dont know if youve been keeping up on current events, but were getting our asses kicked pal. "

    "What're we supposed to use, man? Harsh language? "

    "I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit"

    "LET'S ROCK!!! "

    "Punch it, Bishop! "

    AND BEST MOVIE LINE OF ALL TIME

    "Get away from her you bitch!"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil


    Originally posted by Terminator
    "Get away from her you bitch!"
    I love that part!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,393 ✭✭✭Inspector Gadget


    ...a few fine cuts of choice sarcasm from our McGyver in the (star)field, Richard Dean Anderson a.k.a. Col. Jack O'Neill:

    Daniel: "Hathor was the Egyptian goddess of fertility, inebriety, and music."
    O'Neill: "Sex, drugs, and Rock 'N Roll?"
    Daniel: "In a manner of speaking, yeah."
    -- "Hathor"

    Teal'c: "If the coordinates are for a Goa'uld world which is not on the Abydos cartouche, the Goa'uld will most likely not expect us. I believe a medical attack could be successful."
    O'Neill: "'Surgical strike', Teal'c. It's called a 'surgical strike' and I'd feel like an idiot."
    Carter: "Sir?"
    O'Neill: "I was answering Daniel's question. If we don't do something now and they do attack later I'd feel like an idiot. We go."
    -- "Within The Serpent's Grasp"

    "Teal'c, look scary and take point."
    -- "Prisoners"

    "We had a nice time, Sir. Carter picked up some Naquada. Teal'c made some new friends as usual. Daniel got engaged. And, um, I'm gonna hit the showers."
    -- "Need"

    "Um, you all know I take great pride in my title as Mr. Positive. However, we did destroy their de-goa'ulding thing. Might not they look unkindly on that?"
    -- "Thor's Chariot"

    Mayborne: "Striking an officer is a quick way to a court martial."
    O'Neill: "Oh, I'm not going to strike you, Mayborne. I'm going to shoot you."
    -- "Bane"

    "That's why we'd like to go back, Sir. Carter wants to get a closer look with some of her specialized... doohickeys."
    -- "Touchstone"

    Carter: "Even though we can't see them, these Reetou can definitely see us."
    Teal'c: "Which puts us at a great strategic disadvantage. I can understand why the Goa'uld would want to eliminate them."
    O'Neill: "They're Goa'uld, Teal'c. That's their job."
    -- "Show And Tell"

    O'Neill: "Jaffa jokes? Let's hear one of them."
    Teal'c: "I shall attempt to translate one, O'Neill. A Serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose drips..."
    -- "Seth"

    "So help me if I wake up and I'm singing soprano...."
    -- "Seth"

    Carter (hearing Apophis): "Sir?"
    O'Neill: "Just a huge, honkin' Apophis, Major. Nothing to worry about."
    -- "Rules Of Engagement"

    "They put that damn memory thing on me. And then they gave me something that reminded me of the 70s."
    -- "The Devil You Know"

    Carter: "Look, Colonel, Mayborne's forces are moving in soon."
    O'Neill: "Mayborne? How'd he get....?"
    Carter: "I called him."
    O'Neill: "Willingly?!"
    -- "Foothold"

    "To be fair, General, I did it. Carter and Daniel protested. And Teal'c...well, he really didn't say anything, but I can tell he was opposed to my actions by the way he...cocked his head and raised his eyebrows...."
    -- "Shades Of Grey"

    Carter: "The Stargate isn't made of regular stone. If given enough power, a wormhole forms within the circle and that allows us to travel to other worlds."
    Reegar: "Wormhole?"
    O'Neill: "Giant worms. Huge."
    -- "New Ground"

    Carter: "Well, that means something inside this pyramid is slowing down neutrinos. Normally neutrinos pass right through ordinary matter, no matter how dense. I mean, something like five hundred million billion just passed through you."
    O'Neill: "No matter how dense."
    --- "Crystal Skull"

    Carter: "I'm getting ready to do a detailed analysis of the decay rate of Naquada within the reactor. It's really quite amazing that, unlike plutonium, Naquada actually has a...."
    O'Neill: "Ah ah ah! I'm on vacation."
    -- "Nemesis"

    Carter: "So, Sir, are you saying these bugs are technological?"
    O'Neill (about the replicators): "Apparently they plan to land the ship and infest Earth. Thor says this would not be a good thing."
    -- "Nemesis"

    Daniel (to Thor): "You're actually saying that you need someone dumber than you are?"
    O'Neill: "You may have come to the right place."
    Hammond: "Thor, with all due respect to you situation, we need SG-1 here."
    Carter: "I could go, Sir."
    O'Neill: "I don't know Carter, you may not be dumb enough."
    Carter: "I think I can handle it Sir."
    -- "Small Victories"

    "I remember something. There's a man. He's bald and wears a short-sleeved shirt, and somehow he's very important to me. I think his name is Homer."
    -- "Beneath The Surface"

    "Flight, this is Digger One. Cheyenne, we have a problem."
    -- "Tangent"

    "Flight. This is Digger One - we have negative… nudging capabilities."
    -- "Tangent"

    O'Neill: (referring to Apophis) "He's looking a little pissed."
    Carter: "We did just destroy his fleet."
    -- "Enemies"

    O'Neill: "We brought pizza and a movie."
    Teal'c: "Star Wars."
    O'Neill: "He's seen it what... 8 times?"
    Teal'c: "Nine."
    O'Neill: "Nine times. If Teal'c likes it, it's gotta be okay."
    Carter: "You've never seen Star Wars?"
    O'Neill: "Oh, you know me and sci-fi. Come on, we never get to just hang out, so I thought we..."
    -- "Ascension"

    "I have great confidence in you, Carter. Go on back to the SGC and confuse Hammond."
    -- "Red Sky"

    Ambassador: "They made a star? How?"
    Carter: "Well, theoretically, by increasing the density of a sufficiently massive gas giant until a thermonuclear reaction could take place. In fact, Arthur C. Clarke posited a…"
    O'Neill: "Ambassador, you gotta be careful about the use of the word ‘how', unless you really wanna know."
    -- "2001"

    Carter: "Sir, are you ok?"
    O'Neill: "Oh, couple stitches, concussion, nausea, dizziness, the usual."
    -- "48 Hours"

    "Its always suicide mission this, save the planet that...no one ever stops by to just say hi anymore."
    -- "Summit (Part 1)"


Advertisement