Horiscopes....

Lemmy

ARIES

You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fu(k about anyone. Most people hate you but you
couldn't care less. You're the kind of person who would masturbate at a wedding.

TAURUS
Warm and caring are your most enduring characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bi-sexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of pi$$.
GEMINI

Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply you're a neurotic schizophrenic, a real fu(king weirdo, the type of person who'd kill themselves to win a bet.

CANCER

You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous basterd who would sell your relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.
LEO

The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words stupid. You have an IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on welfare.

VIRGO

You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them.But you are prone to bull$hitting and you're a cheap basterd. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.

LIBRA

You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an a$$hole. For your entire life people will make a complete pri(k
of you.Nobody will go to your funeral.

SCORPIO

You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love pickingyour nose. You always have snot on your clothes.
SAGITTARIUS

You are the romantic type, soft hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. You thrive on
incest.

CAPRICORN

You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centred fu(k and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.
AQUARIUS

You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal partner is a labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.

PISCES

You are the eternal optimist, seeking the best of any situation,You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You are
a pri(k.

I just had to put this up !!!

[This message has been edited by Lemmy (edited 21-01-2000).]

SantaHoe

Hmmm, I'm Gemini...
Most of that's true btw.

Mills

Bring back the comedy board
Now I have to read all the posts on the After Hours board because I can't tell from the titles which ones are comedy posts.

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Mills