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Equations. V. Funny (AIPB)

  • 31-01-2002 11:13pm
    #1
    Neil3030
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,154 ✭✭✭✭


    Fun MATH:
    The last one is the best . . .

    ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
    Smart man + smart woman = romance
    Smart man + dumb woman = affair
    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

    OFFICE ARITHMETIC
    Smart boss + smart employee = profit
    Smart boss + dumb employee = production
    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

    SHOPPING MATH
    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't
    need.

    GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
    A woman worries about the future, until she gets a
    husband.
    A man never worries about the future, until he gets
    a wife.
    A successful man is one who makes more money than
    his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    HAPPINESS
    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a
    lot and love him a little.
    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
    and not try to understand
    her at all.

    LONGEVITY
    Married men live longer than single men, but married
    men are a lot more
    willing to die.

    MEMORY
    Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's
    no use in two people
    remembering the same thing.

    APPEARANCE
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed,
    more or less.
    Women somehow feel that they deteriorate sharply
    during the night.

    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but
    he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
    change, and she does.

    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
    A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything
    a man says after that is
    the beginning of a new argument.

    COMPREHENSION
    There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a
    woman: before marriage and
    after marriage.

    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING
    MARRIED:
    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking
    me in the ribs and
    cackling, telling me, "You're next."
    They knocked that right off after I started doing
    the same thing to them at
    funerals.


Comments

  • #2
    Pugsley
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,136 ✭✭✭Pugsley


    Originally posted by Neil3030
    The last one is the best . . .
    YEA!!!! that last one is a bloody classic!!! icon14.gif


  • #3
    Lenny
    Moderators, Music Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,389 Mod ✭✭✭✭Lenny


    haha, fair ply neil, they made my day ;)


  • #4
    Lucifer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,467 ✭✭✭Lucifer


    lol i love it :D:D:D


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