HICK application form

Sangre

State of Arkansas Residency Application

Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob
(last) (_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
(Check appropriate box)

Age: ____
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
Shoe Size ____ Left ____ Right

Occupation:
(_) Farmer
(_) Mechanic
(_) Hair Dresser
(_) Un-employed

Spouse's Name: __________________________

Relationship with spouse:
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet

Number of children living in household: ___
Number that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: _______

Father's Name: _______(If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade
completed)

Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home?

___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed

Model and year of your pickup: ______ 194_

Do you have a gun rack?
(_) Yes (_) No; please explain:



Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_) The National Enquirer
(_) The Globe
(_) TV Guide
(_) Soap Opera Digest
(_) Rifle and Shotgun

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
(_)Weekly
(_)Monthly
(_)Not Applicable

Color of teeth:
(_)Yellow
(_)Brownish-Yellow
(_)Brown
(_)Black
(_)N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
(_)1 mile
(_)2 miles
(_)don't know

Sangre

Here are some redneck jokes


A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope.

"That's what I like to see," expressed the priest. "A man helping his fellow man."

As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "The Father sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing, does he!"  
 
 

---

 
Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar, when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. As she gasped and gagged, one Texan turned to the other and said, "That gal is havin' a bad time. I'm a gonna go over there and help."

The Texan ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his big, Texan hands, and asked, "Kin ya swaller?"

Gasping, she acknowledged that she couldn't swallow. Then, the Texan asked, "Kin ya breathe?" Still gasping, she motioned that she couldn't breathe. With that, the Texan yanked up her skirt, pulled down her panties, and licked her butt. The young woman was so shocked and humiliated that she coughed up the piece of hamburger and began breathing on her own.

The Texan sat back down with his friend and said, "Ya know, it's sure amazin' how that hind-lick maneouver always works!"  
 

---

A redneck farmer living along the coast of California gets
rather desperate and decides to try out an old mule.


The farmer gets a ladder from the barn and puts it behind
the mule. As he removes his pants, however, the mule
walks forward. So, the farmer steps down from the
ladder, moves it forward, and then tries again. Again, as
he is removing his pants, the mule walks forward
the same outcome. This happens twice more before the
farmer comes up with a plan.


He steps down from the ladder and leads the mule to the
ocean, so the mule can no longer walk forward.


As the farmer is climbing the ladder once again, he hears
a cry for help from a woman drowning in the water. So,
he jumps off the ladder, swims out to rescue her, and
drags her back in.


After he revives the beautiful, nude woman and nurses
her back to health, she gazes into his eyes with her
limpid blue eyes, and says, "Thank you for saving my life.
I am so grateful that I'll do anything to repay you!"


"Anything?" asks the farmer.


"Yes, anything!" repeats the beautiful, nude woman.


The farmer grins and says, "Could you hold that damn
mule for me?"

HAd a few more but they were kind of racy so i left them out, the times are changing

Pugsley

You realy dont like people who are steriotypically 'thick' do you?

Sangre

its not really i dont like stupid people per say its just that they're so easy to poke fun at. And its fun

Pugsley

Its fun listening to you 'poke fun' at them