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you da man?!?!?!?!

  • 31-01-2002 12:50pm
    #1
    ayatollah
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,234 ✭✭✭


    YOU DA MAN TEST...

    1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
    A. Lovemaking
    B. Screwing
    C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

    2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
    A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
    B. Your blood-test results
    C. Five tequila slammers

    3. You time your orgasm so that:
    A. Your partner climaxes first.
    B. You both climax simultaneously.
    C. You don't miss Sports Center

    4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
    A. Healthy, creative love-play
    B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to
    C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need to ever find out about.

    5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
    A. The best part of the experience
    B. The second best part of the experience
    C. $100 extra

    6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that
    it is:
    A. No concern to you
    B. Not a problem, she can join your gym
    C. A conservative estimate.

    7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
    A. A myth
    B. An oxymoron
    C. A Moron

    8. Foreplay is to sex as:
    A. Appetizer is to entree
    B. Primer is to paint
    C. A long line is to an amusement park ride

    9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a
    relationship?
    A. "I hope we can still be friends"
    B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
    C. "Welcome to Dumpsville, population: YOU."

    10.A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
    A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with the Intimacy.
    B. Is uptight and a waste of time
    C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.


    EVALUATING RESULTS:

    If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you ARE a man!!

    If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're a littleconfused.

    If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"


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