More Little Johnny

BioHazRd

Little Johnny sees his Mummy's car pass the play ground and go into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Mummy and Uncle Alan in a "Passionate Embrace". Containing himself as he runs home and starts to tell his father excitedly, "DADDY, DADDY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND MUMMY AND...."
Daddy tells him to slow down. He wants to hear the story. So Little Johnny tells him. "I was at the playground and I saw Mummy's car go into the woods with Uncle Alan. I went back to look and she was giving Uncle Alan a big kiss, then she helped him take off his shirt, then Uncle Alan helped Mummy take her pants off, then Uncle Alan laid down on the seat, then Mummy...."
At this point, Daddy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Mummy's face when you tell it tonight." At the dinner table, Daddy asks Little Johnny to tell his story.
Johnny starts his story, describing the car going into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and "....then Mummy and Uncle Alan did that same thing Daddy and Auntie Emma used to do when Mummy was on business trips."

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6. But that's right!
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the f*cking difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!


Little Johnny is passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in *The Act*. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsey ride! Daddy, can Iride on your back?"
Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.
Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off.


Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," said his mom,"of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go. "Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said,
"Beautiful, ......just f*cking beautiful!'"