Gay jokes (very taboo)

Sangre

Three gays are in a spa bath - Suddenly a blob of semen floats to the surface of the spa. They all look at each other and one says to the other two: "Ok, which of you two morons farted?"

When in Greece, how do you separate the men from the boys?
With a crowbar.

What did one gay sperm say to another?
"How do we find an egg in all of this ****?"

What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Megasorass.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopus.

Did you hear about the gay Magician who vanished with a poof?

What's the favourite pickup line in a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"

A murderer, imprisoned for life, broke free after 15 years and was on
the run.

He broke into a house and tied up the young couple he found in the
bedroom the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife to the
bed. The helpless husband watched him get on the bed, straddle his wife
and start to nuzzle her neck.

His wife started to move her head violently at which the man got up
and left the room. The husband squirmed the chair across the room to his
young wife and hissed "Darling, I saw him kissing you. He can't have
seen a woman in years.

Please cooperate. If he wants to have sex, just go along with it and
even pretend you like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him
mad. Our lives may depend on it!"

"Darling", the wife said spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel
that way. He wasn't kissing me ... he was whispering to me.

He told me he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the
Vaseline in the bathroom".

Two gay gentlemen are walking through a zoo. They come across the
gorillas and after a while they notice that the male gorilla has a
massive erection.

The gay men are fascinated by this.

One of the men just can't bear it any longer and he reaches into
the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and
mates with him for six hours nonstop.

When he's done, the gorilla throws the man back out of the cage. An
ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.

Next day his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"

"AM I HURT?", he shouts, "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called, he hasn't
written ..."

IVE GOT MORE SO JUST ASK

[EDIT]Done and done[/EDIT]

Sangre

Yeah you're right, i did, i missed that one
Take off your message and noone will have to deal with that unpleaslentness

Pugsley

hehehe,some good 1s,especially the last 2

BlackMagic

nice jokes some not great though

Yurmasyurda

ROFLMAO Lickalotopus :P

rymus

When in Greece, how do you separate the men from the boys?
With a crowbar.

roflmao

ahh its funny cos its true...

strat

rolf
class
real class

Vikktakkht

LOL...some good one's there...

azezil

lol ah yes always laugh at the sexual or poo related ones

smoke.me.a.kipper

hehehe. jokes are funny.

Sangre

These four gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is
detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing
their children while walking to the first tee.

"My son," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the
homebuilding industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own
design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last
year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."

The second man, not to be outdone, allows how his son began his
career  as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership.
"He's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a friend
two brand new cars as a gift."

The third man's son has worked his way up through a stock brokerage
firm. And in the last few weeks, not to be outdone, he has given a
good friend a large stock  portfolio as a gift.
As the fourth man arrives at the tee box, one of the guys tells him
that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his
son is in.

"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son has turned
out," he replies.  "For fifteen years, he's been a hairdresser, and
I've just recently discovered he's a practicing homosexual.  But, on
the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last
three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a
big pile of stock certificates."

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He
went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from
higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump
from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell
him the news.

"So, did you jump?" the father asked.

"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the
sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers.
About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!"

"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.

"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a
time and throw them out the door."

"Did you jump then?" asked the father.

"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last
man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too
scared to jump. He told be to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."

"So, did you jump?"

"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto
the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master.
The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250
pounds. He said to me, `Boy, are you gonna jump or not?' I said, `No,
sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and
took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big
around as a baseball bat! He said, `Boy, either you jump out that
door, or I'm sticking this little baby up your ass.'"

"So, did you jump?" asked the father.

"Well, a little, at first."