Taxis.

Hobbes · 25-01-2002 1:22pm #1

Seeing as you have a Dublin Bus thread, how about a Taxis thread?

Taxi drivers can post stories about muppets they have had in the car.

Dustaz · 25-01-2002 1:25pm

or we can post stories about how it seems that 50% of taxi drivers are sociopaths.

Lenny · 25-01-2002 1:29pm

Maybe that's just up your way Dustaz

Dustaz · 25-01-2002 1:56pm

No its true.
Theres so many of them that are just utter UTTER UTTER merchant bankers.

If your a taxi driver and your reading this, Im sure your a lovely bloke and you would never thing of taking me the long way to work while telling me 'oh, this is a shortcut', overcharging me consistantly, 'pretending' to fumble for change in a desperate attempt to fish for a 'oh, dont worry about the change', bore me to fsking tears with your pointless drivel when im obviosuly NOT IN THE MOOD TO TALK.

Im sure your a nice guy and never do any of these things.

Hobbes · 25-01-2002 2:05pm

You must be the only one. I get a lot of taxis (probably more then I should as I'm lazy.

) But I think the number of taxi drivers who have tried to rip me off in the past year is one.

Things not to talk to a taxi driver about...
- weather
- traffic

I'm sure they get bored to tears listening to that.

Anyway on with stories.

I have had one taxi driver (in Boston) telling me he got a new pet which turned out to be one of those little doggy toys with the nodding head on his dashboard. Everytime we stopped at the lights he would tap the head and then move his head in the same motion and sing to it.

In Ireland, there is one taxi driver I know of who carries a guitar around in the car and when he stops in heavy traffic he tends plays it.

I had one the other day that the conversation got onto movies and I mentioned LoTR, turns out the guy was a fanatic about it and started talking about stuff no normal person would want to know

Dustaz · 25-01-2002 2:08pm

Originally posted by Hobbes

Things not to talk to a taxi driver about...
- weather
- traffic

- politics
- anything in the news
- The adrian kennedy phone show
- The deregulation

The risks are too high. Mention any of these things and the rant starts........

BTW, i get taxis almost every day - i am the king of the lazy b@stards:)

Lenny · 25-01-2002 2:27pm

Also don't ask him "Busy tonight?"

WhiteWashMan · 25-01-2002 2:34pm

all of dublins taxi drives are wánkers.
its official...

Lucifer · 25-01-2002 2:40pm

i was on my way home before with one or two mates. for the whole journey the taxi driver talked about meat, then when we got out at a garage he told us to go in and buy meat!

Lenny · 25-01-2002 2:43pm

Lenny · 25-01-2002 2:45pm

Shouldn' t you be studying today Lucifer??

adnans · 26-01-2002 3:09am

one time, myself and two of my friends got into a yellow taxi in dublin city centre to take us home. the taxi driver looked like the guy that made weapons for wesley snipes in the movie blade and was playing some serious rock!! while speeding 80 miles per hour along the norhtside coast road he made sure to sing every line from the rock lyrics. i think it was deep purple. quite scary.

after we asked him to slow down, he nudged his head and said "no problem" in a deep voice. it was the coolest taxi ride ever.

other then that, ive been getting nothing but a bunch of racist, no good, ripp off merchant taxi drivers. oh yeah, and that middle eastern taxi driver that likes to play his Korann tapes on his radio very loudly.

adnans

Victor · 26-01-2002 4:31am

Originally posted by Dustaz
- The adrian kennedy phone show

Yeah I was getting a taxi one night after dinner with a group of clients. It was a few days after someone got stabbed off the SCR, having not been able to get a taxi and this was being discusse don the show. I was explaining the story to one of the clients in the taxi when the taxi slammed into an MG (side on) at about 30 mph....

Baz_ · 26-01-2002 8:20am

Originally posted by Victor

Yeah I was getting a taxi one night after dinner with a group of clients. It was a few days after someone got stabbed off the SCR, having not been able to get a taxi and this was being discusse don the show. I was explaining the story to one of the clients in the taxi when the taxi slammed into an MG (side on) at about 30 mph....

I was not expecting that ending ROFL, I actually got a shock from it, heheheheheheheheeheheheh.

Taxi Drivers - BLEH!!!!!

Victor · 26-01-2002 9:05am

You got a shock! YOU GOT A SHOCK!!!! One second I'm chatting along, the next I'm in a car full of smoke!!!! It scared the life out of me!!!

It was the airbag, they are gunpowder (or similar) charged.

billy the squid · 27-01-2002 2:46am

Was in a taxi and the driver told me about the previous people he had in his car.

He was taking some american tourists from shannon airport to Limerick. When they got to the city they had to stop when they heard this beeping noise.

Whats that beeping noise? asked one of the americans

Those are the traffic lights for the blind. said the driver.

Wow says the american they let the blind drive in ireland

Lenny · 27-01-2002 1:20pm

haha

DeadBankClerk · 27-01-2002 1:50pm

Me and DaBouca were in a taxi once and the taxi driver had to slow down for a police speed trap.

The driver says
"Those f'ing cops, always going on about how we think we own the road..."

Then DaBounca says
"Yeh, but in fairness you think you do."

Lex_Diamonds · 27-01-2002 2:47pm

Originally posted by fcddunne
Was in a taxi and the driver told me about the previous people he had in his car.

He was taking some american tourists from shannon airport to Limerick. When they got to the city they had to stop when they heard this beeping noise.

Whats that beeping noise? asked one of the americans

Those are the traffic lights for the blind. said the driver.

Wow says the american they let the blind drive in ireland

How many times have I heard this one?

Dr. Loon · 28-01-2002 11:23am

Originally posted by adnans
one time, myself and two of my friends got into a yellow taxi in dublin city centre to take us home. the taxi driver looked like the guy that made weapons for wesley snipes in the movie blade and was playing some serious rock!! while speeding 80 miles per hour along the norhtside coast road he made sure to sing every line from the rock lyrics. i think it was deep purple. quite scary.

after we asked him to slow down, he nudged his head and said "no problem" in a deep voice. it was the coolest taxi ride ever.

adnans

Was I in that one? Or was I in the one with the insane bloke listening to pink floyd all the way....
Saturday night there, we had a sound driver, exact same sense of humour as us, kept takin the píss out of us, and when we asked him to stop he just goes "no, fúck you"

He had us all in stitches.

Or the dude speeding down the coast road, freezing outside, and all the windows open. I asked him if he was cold or what the story was, and he told me some eejit had just been sick all over the place!!!

That didn't make me happy

bonkey · 28-01-2002 11:36am

Originally posted by adnans
oh yeah, and that middle eastern taxi driver that likes to play his Korann tapes on his radio very loudly.

I had him as a cabbie once. Nice enough guy to talk to, after I politely asked him if he could turn down the tape.

jc

adnans · 28-01-2002 12:34pm

Originally posted by Dr. Loon
Was I in that one? Or was I in the one with the insane bloke listening to pink floyd all the way....

no, you werent in this one. think it was me, matts and ailish.

anyway, remember the taxi driver that noelie bowler got once. mad nutter taxi driver rolling down his window shouting at scumbags and proclaiming himself to be king of something, cant quite remember what it was. can you?

adnans

Dr. Loon · 28-01-2002 12:37pm

Originally posted by adnans

no, you werent in this one. think it was me, matts and ailish.

anyway, remember the taxi driver that noelie bowler got once. mad nutter taxi driver rolling down his window shouting at scumbags and proclaiming himself to be king of something, cant quite remember what it was. can you?

adnans

I know his name was Willie.... and I think he was just saying he was King of the road, and waving his fist at people on the road as well

Da Bounca · 28-01-2002 1:42pm

I used to work in an off-licence in Dublin, and the asisstant manager told me this story one day.

He was going into town after work, so he rang a taxi. The taxi arrived and he hopped in and said he was heading in to Ballsbridge. The taxi man said grand and they headed off.
While en-route, the taxi man tried to get a little bit of conversation going by saying something like "Heh, didn't get enough drink in the off-licence so you are going into town to get pissed?" . My friend, the manager, lets call him Steve said "Actually i don't drink , and haven't for the last 2 years". The taxi-man was taken aback and said "Well, do you smoke then?" .
Steve said he did, so the taxi-man handed him a pack of skins and a lump of hash and said "Well start rolling boyo" .
Steve was delighted and did as he was told.
With the joint rolled they smoked it between them, and Steve began to tell him how some cúnt had stolen his bike the other day, and a nice bike at that. The taxi-man was understanding, so they rolled another joint and smoked it.
They were at their destination , and Steve asked what the damage was. The taxi-man said don't worry about it. Steve said "Thanks very much, nice to have met you, thanks for the spliff, have a nice day." The taxi-man said "No problem" and they parted. The next day the taxi-man cam in and started chatting to Steve in the off-licence, he didn't buy anything, just chatted. Steve thought it was a little strange, but thought nothing of it.
The taxi-man came in the next day , same story , but when he was leaving he told Steve that he could get him a top class mountain bike for £15. This worried steve , this taxi-man was following him around and offering him goods that sounded a little too cheap to be just a nice bargain.

I stopped working in the off-licence after that episode due to college , but as far as I know, to this day, the taxi-man comes in each day and pesters Steve.
Quite disturbing. Steve wishes he had never taken the hash.

Taxis.

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